People Change, Season's Change~

It's something we don't think of when we are young. Its something that certainly took me by surprised as I walked the path of my journey. No one prepared me in life for this one....people change. Everyone changes..our friends, parents, siblings, spouces, grandparents, aunts, uncles our children..everyone. You go through life with all these people whom you love deeply...thinking to yourself  each one of these people are so special to me. How blessed am I to have these wonderful people in my life.
Slowly, when you are not even paying attention...those around you start to grow, become more cultured or even seasoned,  they begin to change. I even think each decade holds a different person in you. Now I don't mean you necessarily loose your values or beliefs. I do believe that your parents or guardians plant the roots of your being, your morals and ethics won't change. Unless of course something happens in your life that shakes your soul to the core, sometimes depending on life circumstances...your morals can be altered.
I love the line in this quote "we're all different people all through our lives." I couldn't agree more.
I was a totally different person in my 20's and 30's than I am in my 40's. You know what...thats ok, I happen to like each of them.
Well my 20's were crazy and sometimes I didn't like my 20 year old self. I had some pretty dark years in there. Some moments that I am not to proud of. My 30's was years of healing, I had some years to myself where I went back to school to beome a nurse. I needed change, I needed to find myself. Having a child in the ripe young age of 21, so many life experiences were taken from me. Then you add my accident and that was an example of what I meant about sometimes life can 'shake your soul"...how do you not come out of that a different person. I re-evaluated all of my values, morals and ethics. Everything changed after that.
I think one of the hardest lessons in life is having the ability to realize that the one you choose to spend the rest of your life with will change as well. Its one of the most challenging things, to understand that your spouce is changing...and you need to choose to continue to 'get to know' them. Each stage in life you choose to fall in love again. Its alot of work, and its not easy...there have been years through those previous decades that I did not particularily "like" Paul. I am sure there were many many times he felt the same about me.
There is a huge difference between like and love, I have always loved Paul...even in our times of trouble. But to be honest...there were times I didn't particularily like him.{ Sorry Paulie if you are reading this...you know we had some tough times, I love you Sparkee~}
If Paul and I were to give advice regarding our marriage, and our years together...I think we would both agree one of the most important points in making it work is communication. I know, I know everyone says "communication" is soooo important, and they don't follow up with why that is. Well here it goes, I will do my best to explain it.
I met Paul when I was 18, just a kid. A young lady with hopes of marriage and family. I wanted to eventually manage a daycare, have one kid, we never thought of holidays or travelling...because we had no money. Work was the utmost important thing ever...I didn't want to be a stay at home mom, I was raised to believe working was what put food on the table. My dreams, hopes and desires were completely different from the way things worked out.
So we started out...on this path, 2 working class parents, low income (in the beginning), small single family home, possible townhouse, 2 vehicles 5-7 years old, one dog, shopping on a budget weekly living pay check to pay check. We were living life, the only way we knew..hard working.
Shortly after my accident....everything changed. I dropped out of school, stopped working, became a stay at home mom, had another baby, had to learn a ton of medical treatments...we bought a bigger than ever expected home in a middle/upper class neighbourhood. Bought new vehicles..and eventually took our first trip. We were different people, not expected at all..but its what happens sometimes in life, when your soul is shaken~
When I say communication is utmost important...do you understand now? Could you imagine if through all these changes, Paul and I didn't have any communication skills? Its something we worked on..for sure we were taught some skills through professionals. I mean your life doesn't change that drastically and you are expected to understand things right away. Not to mention we were only in our early 20's. Over time, like I mentioned we changed. Paul was certainly not the man I had married 6 years earlier...he had new likes, and wants...eventually he became interested in boats...WHO is that?? Just starting out, I had no idea Paul would like boating. He started to play squash, joined a gym and had a new love for Ford Trucks. I started scrapbooking, decorating my house, hanging with new friends, shopping with teachers in the states...I was completely different. I had never shopped before this shift in life, we didn't have money. Who was this new lady shopping at Baby Gap and Roots for her kids? Seriously....we had some pretty big changes in our character. It was all so new, everything about our life was new...even Braden was different. We struggled with self worth, self esteem...we had ups and downs, but we could always talk to one another.
To bring this all into light, my point being simply..life changes you. Regardless of your circumstances, you are going to change. Looking back at my marriage, I remember thinking at times we were no longer compatible. Honestly in certain points of our marriage we did choose "to get to know" one another again. We have been together for 25 years, we met very young...you can't expect two people to stay the same from the time we met. That's just silly, you also can't put 2 people under the circumstances we have lived through and not expect them to be changed coming through that. We both could recognize the times of transition, and I remember sitting down with him for "date night" and we'd talk. We would discuss whatever was on our minds...open dialogue. No worries, anything could be said...honesty was the key. You can't fix things or dodge trouble by not being honest. We even made a rule that we would "re-evaluate" our life together every month, then every 2 months, every 3 months..etc etc..It worked. I think we both felt we had some control that way.
The second part of that quote is equally important "so long as you remember all the people you use to be." That's the fun part....looking back and laughing at life. Who you were, what was important to you at certain stages in your life. Paul and I laugh alot at that, the history we have together is incredible. Its weird to think that I have been with him longer in life than I have been without him. He knows me best..he has known the "all of me's"...Looking back, through the years I really wouldn't change anything. The angry me that lived through my 20's has taught me to fight, to be strong. The 30's me...taught me to be me. I liked her...she was smart. She helped me heal, recover and change my life just for me..those years were my learning years...probably my favorite ones. The 40 me...is quiet, believe it or not, lol...calm. It's nice, I like this place. No one to worry about, I know who I am...this 40 me needs to get in better shape though, I miss that part about being 30. I am looking forward to continuing through the 40's, we are content. Its a great place to be....
If you are reading this, my wish is for you to understand that life is going to change you. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. Regardless of what happens, embrace it. Accept it...and learn. If you are in a relationship and wanting to give up, remember why you started it in the first place. Give yourself and your partner permission to change (as long as no harm is being committed) try to understand them and please welcome the fact that change just means growth. It'd be a scary uncertain world if we didn't change with time, I for one...will continue to seize the moments of impact that modify our destiny~

Simplicity, Relaxation & Some Much Needed Rest...

Do you ever have one of those weekends where simplicity is just what you needed? This weekend was just that, we so needed some time together...just Paul and I. Saturday morning we got up and headed to the cottage for some R & R. On the way down we went to this Antique market in Waterford. Heather, my mom, Ethan and Cailyn and I found this place in the summer time and the prices were really good. Paul and I were looking for Cast Iron pots..we want those types of pots to cook over an open fire at the cottage. We only found one, and it didn't have a lid but we bought it anyways because it was cool.

You can see in the picture below that the stroller worked out really well...the pups were so well behaved inside that stroller. People LOVED them, we ended up talking to so many people these two cuties were a true attractions.
I was so surprised with how well they did, such good pups. Ollie was a bit pissy about it, so at one point I had to carry him again. Overall it was such a good day, we needed it~

 

Paul spent alot of time outside with these two trying to teach Ella to come. She is not a good listener..lol..she is so smart, and she takes everything in. She follows directions well inside the house and she has learned so much for only being 5 months. But the minute you take her outside...BAM she becomes crazy...her listening ears are gone. lol...i think we might have to tie her up, which sucks cause we don't have to tie up any of them. Oh well..maybe in time she will do better. Poor Ella is going in to be spayed in 2 weeks, poor little girl. Seem's so soon, but the vet said the little dogs come into heat sooner than the bigger dogs. Thankfully we get to bring her home on the same day...
My heart will be broken when I have to drop her off, thank god I know she will be in great hands. Well we are off to regular life tomorrow, the fun is over...life resumes back to normal. We all get busy, things to do...people to see.
Until tomorrow my friends, good night and god bless~

Mini Pecan Pie in a Jar

These beauties were amazingly delicious....Paul and I loved them. The kids didn't want one, but we did and two thumbs up from Paul.
As I blogged previously, I want to try some cool recipes in these jam jar's. I ended up getting smaller ones and they were much better.
The recipe is simple, I felt it was a really good recipe but I use to have a buttertart recipe and it had butter included. This one didn't have any butter in it, and I could tell. Definitely will try to find another recipe that includes butter.
Anyways I am going to try to remember the recipe as I am not at home and do not have the ingredients with me.

Buy any all ready made pie crust..I used Pilsbury and gently press the crust into the jar. Do not leave any space open where you can see inside the jar.

4 eggs
1 cup of sugar
1 cup of light corn syrup
1/2 cup of dark corn syrup
1 tsp of vanilla extract
2 cups of coarsely chopped pecans




This is what I mean by adding the pie crust to the jars and not leaving any space open.

 

Mix the eggs, and sugar together then add the syrups and vanilla...finally add the chopped pecans. I didn't use 2 cups of pecans I only used 1. Thank goodness too cause they really filled up the space.

 

The final product, of course staged on my dining room table. Easter theme with those bunnies.
Well my lovelies have a wonderful evening...
Until tomorrow good night and god bless~

Reality can suck...

To be honest I ain't got nothing to blog about tonight, I have at least 20 ideas started but haven't finished any of them. So my goal is to really really try to post every single day.  On days like today when I ain't got nothing...I've decided to take a quote that may have some depth and write about my feelings towards it.

 

  

I need to start by saying I have been very lucky with having support in my life. Each friend has served a purpose in my life, and family has always been a huge support.
I chose this quote because its one of the hardest lessons, but one of the most important in life to learn. By no means is this quote meant to hurt or cause suffering. The truth is....sometimes in life people have their own problems, or their own issues that they need to be tending too. Even though you yourself may be having a difficult time, its just that sometimes friends don't have the ability to put your problems first.  It's not that they don't care, or they don't want to see you happy. Sometimes its just too much for them to feel like taking on your pain would put them over the edge. With that said I don't want to sound naive, I am well aware that there are people out there who do not care about what you are going through...and will not even acknowledge your feelings. Those people are the ones who you should exclude and drop from your life.
What I take away from this is something that I have always kinda believed. Having been born with a Heart Condition, and living with the effects of that...I learned to self soothe. My parents were always there, and my grandma was awesome, my extended family was also there for my parents through the years. But really who did I have to talk with, someone who could understand what i was going through. No one. So I learned how to talk myself out of fear and anxieties...as a child.
When I look back at my teenage years and dealing with drama, my friends and I didn't really ever have alot of drama. We did support eachother alot with issues like boys and dating..etc. But we never had any troubles with others, we were pretty smart that way. I also never really tolerated drama as a teen and still don't as an adult. I contribute that to my parents. They were always careful with not allowing drama into our home as a family. My dad was very black and white, and if he sensed trouble...the person was gone. I am so thankful for those lessons cause to be honest...I am very much the same. Keep your drama out of my home...if I sense even a hint of it...you're gone.
Going back to the quote...
After my accident, like I have written before in another blog post...in my darkest moment, no one was able to "make me feel better." Not Paul, not my parents...no one.
I think that's why this quote has meaning to me....its all in how you look at it. Don't get me wrong there is a big difference between needing a friend to talk too...needing a time out and going for coffee with someone you love. But in the dark of suffering, when you really don't think you can pull yourself back up off the ground....please don't fool yourself by putting expectations on anyone..to extend their arm and help you up. In reality...its not their job, its your's. You need to find that inner strength to get back up...
Now,  my words are not meant for those who are being harmed, abused, self harming or silently suffering...PLEASE if you are reading this and you have a secret, or feel alone and afraid you need to tell someone. You need to find the strength inside yourself to go talk to someone you can trust. There are many people out there who are more than willing to help you....people do care. Once you seek help my darlings...its then you will acquire the tools needed to "help" yourself, to be able to take care of you~

Some of you have that one friend who totally tends to your every dying need. That friend who is almost infactuated with helping you...that's fine too. But what good is that going to do for you when all hell breaks loose and that one friend isn't there? How will you handle it? To me, that one friend is only crippling you.
I really do try to teach my children that the most important people in your life is your family. Friends are important and in certain stages of life they serve a purpose for many reasons..and I would have to say that as teenagers I really do believe your friends know you best.
As you grow and life becomes more sophisticated life, things will change. Friends will move forward, they will become busy with school, career's, partner's eventually marriage and maybe families of their own. That doesn't mean you won't be in their lives...but i believe the expectations need to change.
Its at this time my hope is that my children have the tools need to "handle things on their own". I pray they have the sense to think through their problems, don't rely on anyone to 'get' you through some of the most trying times. Don't put those predicaments on those around you...well, I mean like I said...talk to your friends, ask them to listen to you. Just don't expect them to solve the problem or think its their job to find the right things to bring you happiness. Its always nice to have that one friend who knows how to make you smile, and i am not suggesting that you discredit their attempts at helping you....there is a huge difference between helping and trying to solve someone's dilemma.
I guess to tie this up in a pretty bow, all I am trying to say is that its very important to learn not to rely on others. YES its ok to have good friends who can help you through tough times, and of course you should be a friend who does just that. But, don't expect others to make things better for you. Find the strength in yourself to be able to self soothe..or even pick yourself up when you fall. The reason is simple, "People aren't always going to be there for you. That's why you learn to handle your own things"~

More tattoo's and doggie strollers, what's happening to my family?!

Ya this happened today. LOL...seriously...I know. Ok so the logic behind this is simple...we have two of them now. This Saturday Paul and I are getting some time alone together, but we are taking these two babies with us. During our 'alone" time we are heading to an antique market and inorder to take these two in with us, we need to have them "confined." Today we were in Toronto and I got to go to my favourite pet store...god I love that place!! I could spend hours and so much money in there, anyways...she had this stroller and the original price was 149.00..but she gave it to me for 89.00..OMG, I was so excited~

Ollie looks impressed lol...he actually sits very nicely in there..but Ella Blue is another story. She can't sit still long enough, thank god that stroller zips up and closes them in.

Well on another note, the boy had a consultation today at the tattoo place he likes in Toronto. It's called Adrenaline, honestly I really like them too. They are such a nice group of young men and women, they are so attentative to Braden and to myself and my mom.

I love the idea Braden has for his next tattoo...I will leave it a secret until he decides to share it with you. But I will say that the recent tattoo that I got on my leg with the pocket watch, is something he is going to incorporate. He is getting a pocket watch in his tattoo..and the time will be set at 3:09..or March 9th (03/09) So that has lots of meaning.

I too have a consultation on Friday, a friend and I are heading to kitchener to meet with a tattoo artist. I need to get moving and figure out what it is I want...hopefully I can come up with something before Friday....

Well my friends, its a short one today. I am tired, it has been a long day. Drove to Toronto then ran almost 4 miles :)

Until tomorrow my Zeta's good night and god bless~

 

 

 

 

It's almost that time again Peep's...

I'm always looking for fun, creative neat things to try for this blog. Sometimes I just look for quick easy things too, that I think might go over well with mom's of young children. This idea looks fun, and I kinda thought a mom with young children could get really creative with this. Cute way to make a treat for maybe a family dinner. Or even a home daycare looking for an afterschool craft/snack idea. I know its not the healthiest...however close to easter is about chocolate anyways so have some fun. I mean one of the most important lessons in parenting is rationing...you don't need to let them eat 10 of these...two of them with a nice glass of milk  would be perfect.
So easy to do....you just buy some chocolate wafers at Bulk Barn, and some eastery sprinkles. Just melt the chocolate, dip the peeps and then sprinke the sprinkles...easy. Have fun...and enjoy that sunshine today friends~

 

 

 

 

 

When volunteering changes your life...

I am going to give this another go however I am still upset about the last blog post I had spent hours on and then accidently deleted it.

I need to start by saying how proud I am of both my kids. Last week I had to drive Braden to Hamilton and drop him off at one of the hospitals as he was spending time with a newly acquired young man with a Spinal Cord Injury. A couple years ago Braden became a peer support for young individuals who suffer from injuries or illnesses that result in some form of a SCI.
I remember back when Braden was just young and we had realized that he was going to be limited in his experiences as he grew and matured. I don't mean necessarily life experiences because god know's this guy has had one too many. I just mean as our children grow they reach certain milestones in each age bracket. They get their license, first jobs, finish highscool and eventually make their way into college or University. We always knew Braden would reach most of those milestones, but ones that included getting a job and his license we kinda figured that would be more of a challenge. Paul and I started thinking about this back when he was probably 8 years old. Braden himself actually started to complain about not having any independance or responsibility. I did my best as he was growing up, he was so limited physically, when Kailey would have chores believe it or not Braden would complain that he didn't have any. We had to come up with some pretty creative chores for him, it was always important for him to feel like he was helping out in this family. When raising a child with a disability one of the most challenging situations is making sure all of the children in your home are feeling equal...we didn't want to put too much responsibilties on Kailey, and yet we didn't want Braden to feel left out either.
So when Braden started to see some of his friends advancing to paper routes, babysitting or working around their homes...we knew we had to do something to keep him advancing in society. It's so important for kids to have those feelings of accomplishments, self-awareness and satisfaction.
We quickly got Braden involved with volunteering.  He started out with the Rick Hanson association doing speeches to help raise money for those who live with Spinal Cord Injuries, he acquired so many great lessons during this time. Volunteering increased his self-confidence, boost his self esteem and gave him a sense of pride.  He did that fundraiser a few times, but then he moved on to become the Embassador for Kidsability Centre. This position he filled perfectly, he loved this opportunity.
You see the purpose of having Braden volunteer through his teenage years was simple, he wasn't able to go to school and hold down a part time job while also tending to his health and rehabilitation.

All those important skills you learn in your teenage years eventually helps develope the adult you are going to become. We didn't want Braden to miss out on any of that knowledge. Volunteering provided him with so much experience working with others, problem solving and communtication skills.
Anyone who sits around playing video games and not fullfilling any goals is going to eventually become depressed. We were SO worried about that happening to Braden, we knew we had to help him achieve certain ambitions.
There is this thing called Volunteering~The happiness factor, and I am a big believer in that.
You see back when my kids were younger I had decided to do some volunteering for myself. I was living a life that even though it was busy and for the most part always exciting, I felt like i was missing something. I needed to get out of the house, maybe a bit of depression set in at one time...so I started volunteering at Teenage Pregnancy home. It was the best thing I ever did....I always left feeling like i made a difference. Some of those young mom's were amazing, I even learned a few things from them.
I remember making the choice to bring Kailey with me, she was maybe in grade 3 and I just kinda figured she needed to see what it's like to live outside of her comfortable lifestyle. It was important for her to see some of their struggles, hear their stories...and care for their babies while they were trying to make their lives better. My children live such a comfortable lifestyle really never having to worry about anything, well anything around having their needs met. Like i said I needed her to see that not everyone is as fortunate as she may be...some of those girls worked so hard to make a living, Kailey needed to be exposed to that.
Going back to the Happiness Factor its a proven fact that volunteering kindles happiness. Getting out and helping others also combats depression, it helps keep you connected to your community. One christmas we had 'fostered" a little baby girl while her mom was having her second baby. It was over christmas holidays when this precious girl came to stay with us and honestly it was such life changing event for our family. It was a wonderful opportunity for our children to give back, to make time for others during the busy holiday season. We truly had to pull together as a family and not think so much of ourselves...that christmas was about this baby, her mom and new baby sister. Eventually mom joined us for a night here..and having them was really what christmas was about. I unfortunatly had to take them home, it killed me to leave her...if my own life hadn't been so darn crazy demanding I would have had them here longer. That christmas my whole family experienced the Happiness Factor.
I just hope and pray that  as my children grow and age they to take with them the feelings we shared having helped out that mom. If one day my children open their homes to help out another...then we did our job, and I will be proud.
This year we had assumed Kailey would find a job, she had a small job for a bit but it
 didn't go anywhere. We had decided she could focus on school and play one more year of ringette...we wanted her to enjoy her highschool years, there is lots of time for her to work. With all that said the same rules applied to her...if you are not working, then you have to volunteer your time. We are so proud that Kailey did just that, she now volunteers at the Cambridge Hospital, and she really likes it. I see a change in her already, its nice to see her self esteem come up, she's just more confident with herself as well. Come this summer she will be job ready, and she acquired many great skills in this volunteer position. It's kinda funny cause some of those older ladies who volunteer with Kailey just think she is there for her "hours'. Most kids go in and do their volunteer hours, then they get the heck out of there. When she tells them, no...I have my hours already, they tend to have a new found respect for her.

The picture below is Braden heading off to meet with his client. Braden seriously is one of the strongest people I know, after all he has gone through he can still think of other's. He is genuinly concerned for the people he meets. He really wants to be able to give them someone to talk too...and maybe if possible give them a small piece of wisdom that just might help them cope with the new challenges they are going to face.

 

I have to admit, we are very proud parents. They both work hard, they both have seized so much knowledge in life. It's one of the ways Paul and I managed to turn something so tragic in our lives  into something bearable. It has become the glue to the success of this family. The only way to survive certain occassions in life is too share your knowledge, work hard to gain the skills needed inorder to survive. Once you have those tools, share them.

There is no better feeling in this world then to confidently turn away from someone knowing you gave them everything you have. Hoping that just maybe the words you kindly expressed may have just changed the course of their life. Allowing them the freedom to feel happy again~

 

Twist and shout The British Invasion~

What a great night we had. Paul and I went to see Twist and Shout The British Invasion with my parents down at the Cambridge Dunfield Theatre. This production by far was the best one yet, even though the music era was before my time it was filled with some of the worlds greatest...really timeless songs. The play featured such artists as The Beatles, Dave Clark Five, The Animals, Tom Jones, The Searchers, The Hollies, The Rolling Stones and many many more amazing classic's. I absolutely loved the way they managed to keep you thinking you were living back in the 1960's. The set design shared 2 large screens that featured the "rockstar's" in black in white footage, making it look like they were straight out of the 60's. They also kept a running joke as they followed almost every scene with a "word from their sponser's", and they would show the old commercials that once played on black and white televisions sets around the world. Bicks pickles was big one, and Alka seltzer for upset stomachs made an apperance a couple times.
They did a fantastic taking you back in time, they had footage of JFK before the assasination, they feature video's of the Beatles and the craziness that followed them. It was nice to see my parents happy, for the most part these songs were a big part of their childhood and early teenage years. They had stories to share as memories came flooding back. You almost try to take yourself back to their time, wondering what they were like as teens, what my mom's bedroom looked like, how she did her hair every morning for school.
Listening back at these old songs and hearing the lyrics and the meanings to each of the songs kinda made me feel sad for todays youth. I mean, i'm all about freedom of expression, expressing yourself in music or art....and don't get me wrong, I very much love todays music. But when you really listen to the messages the artists are selling you...there really mostly all about love, good, clean love. There is no dirty sexual act's being yelled out at you, no one is screaming at you to take off you close and bend down to touch your toes...back then it was all about treating your girl right, and loving your  man.
Of course there were a couple song's I chuckled at as the meanings were in there around a woman "loving" her husband and giving him what he wants to make him happy...lol...oh ok!!
But for the most part...it was innocent, clean song lyrics that made you happy.
The theatre was filled with an "older" crowd as naturally anyone who listen to this in the '60's would all be around 65 today. There was a couple in front of Paul and I and when certain songs played you could see the two of them join hands, lean over and laugh...a couple times they swayed to the music together. You just knew the two of them had spent that time together in life, making memories, probably started a family around that era...maybe even entertained close friends on Friday nights to sound of these songs. How lucky is all I thought, and then it hit me...maybe someday that will be Paul and I sitting in a theatre rehashing our "good ol'days", remembering back to our shindings with friends. Except our music will be Journey, Boston, Phil Collins, pretty much anything from the 80's, and i guess the 70's too. I was very thankful for my life last night, i have the perfect parents who have been married for 43 years...sitting close to one another enjoying the music that at one time brought them together. I had my husband of 22 years sitting with me, laughing with us as we listened to the "Roy Solomon Show", I am blessed. I only hope that someday it will be Paul and I who will sit in that theatre with grey hair (well he's already there ;)) holding hands and reminiscing. What a gift it is too grow old with one person...if you are lucky enough to have that my friends...be thankful, its a gift that unfortunately these days is not given to many.
Until tomorrow my friends, good day and god bless~

Prom Proposals...

Well its a big thing these days....Prom proposals. I truly don't remember them being around when Braden went to his prom, but today its something the boys are doing. I think its pretty cool, and I think it makes wonderful memories for teenagers. Back in the day, long before internet and social media something like this wouldn't have even been discussed. No one would have put this type of expectation on a young man. His job would be to just show up...and if you're lucky maybe..just maybe you'd get a corsage out of him. Times are changing, and I think its fantastic. We could look at it as...its not a big deal, its kinda cute..some girls won't care either way whether or not they recieve a prom proposal. Thats fine too...trust me, if anyone knows me the last thing I can't handle is someone putting unrealistic expectations on me...why would I do that too someone else. I choose to look at it as a "change in times" or having young men these days put an 'effort' into something that a teenage girl would love to experience.
 In past decades we have spent so much time preparing our daughters to become wives and mothers, and really have only taught our son's the importance of making a living, and providing for his family. Where in any of that have we taught them about communication or "how to be romantic?" Ok, not to be mistaken...I am not saying we need to teach our teenage son's how to be romantic per say...but we should try to encourage them to be aware of a girls wants and needs.
We have left out some pretty valuable life lessons, one being how to communicate with a girl. I just really believe some topics were taboo and like I had said a man's job was to provide. I think maybe alot of the old school "bringing flowers home' to your wife because she has dinner ready when you get home has flown the coop. Which don't get me wrong is a good thing, i'd rather a pay check over flowers any day. But like i said probably meaning "Chivarly is dead" and i think we need to bring some of that back. Also vise versa, the ladies need to understand the men as well, when a young man pulls of a Prom proposal you darn well better show him how appreciative you are of his efforts, because I can guarantee that young man was probably terrified. Well maybe not terrified but at least totally out of his comfort zone. My point of this topic is simple to state how something like Prom proposing is a great indicator of male/female communication. The young man who is suiting up for this moment is learning so much about "being a man"...or maybe more how his actions are making the young lady feel. As far as the girl or boy recieving the proposal its important that they acknowledge their  friends/partner's/boyfriends efforts. Give them the satisfaction that they did a great job..that you are thrilled with their creative attempt to ask you to prom. Those my friends are the lessons in life that you will carry into future romantically linked endeavors. Its a give and take, its about making the other individual feel good about their actions. Two of the most important lessons in a relationship is communication and validation. In my opinion, something as simple as a prom proposal offers both...and thats a really great thing for todays generation.

Sometimes we as mothers and fathers just don't prepare young men for the real world of relationships..they pretty much struggle their way through just hoping they get it right.
I certainly don't mean giving them 'lessons" in romance, I just mean we need to model our own behaviour around relationships so they may just pick up a few healthy lessons.
Having newer 'traditions' such as Prom proposals really gives young men the chance to be creative, put some thought into their actions. Maybe even just for a moment "thinking like a girl'...and guess what?, there is nothing wrong with that. Imagine already having that kind of experience and knowledge going into an adult relationship...communtication, talking and arranging for something to make his date feel happy is one huge step for man kind ;)
Some young men don't get talks with their parents, but with todays technology ie Pinterest, they have so much information right there in front of  them. I found a few really cute, simple examples of some prom proposals that I thought were great...so I thought i would share them with you~
I mean living in Canada this idea just seems fitting...cute right?

 

I love this pizza idea, and any pizza shop would do this for you if you asked. Love this...and even a better idea would be to make it yourself..

The roses and prom card is ideal...simple, but oh so sweet~



I know these are baseballs...technically they could be anything, i just liked this idea. Any boy who shows up with homemade cupcakes is a winner in my eyes!


The above baseball with a ring engraved is darling, but i guess its something more suited for a couple. The ring would be an ideal keepsake, you'd never forget your Prom.


This idea is great...especially if your friend/partner plays baseball, either the girl or the guy. Or if you just occassional go out and throw a ball around...i liked it, seems fitting for a teenage guy to do.


Not sure why i liked this idea so much...i just love the fish, its cute. The little poem is perfect, its not too elaborate but alot of thought went into it and once again the fish is a nice reminder of your special evening together.

I also love this idea..below, going out to dinner and having the restaurant prepare this for you. Great idea, so thoughtful and creative.


Who doesn't love Starbucks? cute right?

This "wings" idea is awesome, what girl doesn't like wings? Well unless she's a vegetarian..maybe check that out first ;)



Absolutely LOVE this adorable idea, so simple but sweet~

 This keychain idea is probably a favorite, its just so practical. I mean as you leave your final year of highschool and embark on your future's I am sure you will have a key of your very own. Whether its for your dorm room or apartment or your very own car...maybe just a house key for when you come home to visit from University. Regardless what a wonderful keepsake....something any girl/boy would keep forever~

 
Just to clear something up..I want to make it clear that the last thing I want you to take away with you from this blog post is that it is vitally important or expected of you prom date to do a Prom proposal. I do not even believe its that important to go with a date...that is NOT what prom is about. If you by chance have a signficant other who did not come up with an extremely clever prom proposal...thats ok too! You know, sometimes its the quieter, shy boys who may not always make a puplic display of affection towards you or prom but they may certainly know how to make you feel on a date. Those guys...they are the keepers. Those are the ones where YOU need to use your words..lol and tell them what you want, or more importantly what you would like from them. So just because your date didn't prom propose..it doesn't mean his feeling about bringing you are any less. If by chance you are going alone or with some friends...then good for you, becasue those times spent with just the girls or just the boys...those moments are important and unforgettable as well.
Bottom line, make some memories with those who you just spent 4 years spending time with. These are the people who know you best, they have seen you at your worst, picked you up in times of sadness and have laughed with you in times of drunken stupor's. Just remember to enjoy your night, stay safe...and dance like no one's watching~

Tortellini with Mushroom Sauce

A few nights ago I really wanted to try a new mushroom cream based pasta. I found this recipe and thought we would try it. We really liked it...the whole family liked it. I thought I would share with you. Enjoy my friends..its so good~

1 1/4 cups (1/3 of a 16-ounce bag) frozen cheese tortellini

2 teaspoons olive oil

8 ounces fresh shiitake mushrooms, stemmed, caps halved and thinly sliced

2 garlic cloves, sliced

1 cup water

Coarse salt and ground pepper

3 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese

1 tablespoon cold butter

1/3 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

 

1. Step 1

2. In a large pot of boiling salted water, cook tortellini according to package instructions; drain.

3. Step 2

   Meanwhile, in a large skillet, heat oil over medium-low heat. Add

1.  

2. Step 3

   Add 1 cup water; season with salt and pepper. Cook until liquid is reduced by half, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat; add tortellini, Parmesan, butter, and parsley. Toss to coat; serve.

So frustrated.

I am so frustrated today. Last night I worked on a blog post for almost 2 hours . This morning I went to finish it and must have accidentally deleted it. So I will have to redo it and upload another time. I have never done that before, so upsetting when you put so much thought and effort into something and within seconds it's gone. 

Well I am too angry to post anything else today...so until tomorrow, have a nice day! 

Home Made Lip Scrub...

Well here is another DIY idea. I just wanted to have a bit of fun and try some of these home made recipes that I have found. So i decided to try this one, its easy...and you know what, I like it! Kailey had some friends over recently so I had them try some. They liked it too...I forgot to send some home with them. Anyways here is the ingrediant..

4 tsps of brown sugar

3 tsps of coconut oil

3 tsps of honey

and your choice of essential oils..I chose a peppermint and also orange. You just add the oils as much as you want, the nice thing about this is that you can totally eat it. Just put it on your lips, and the brown sugar will exfoiliate and the coconut oil will soften, Its a lovely mixture.

 

 

 

Add the brown sugar, coconut oil and honey..

Mix them together and add drops of your chosen essential oil

I bought some air tight containers to store my lip scrub. Cute little dollarstore container's.

 

 

Well Zeta's here's hoping everyone had a great weekend, we did. The weather is getting nicer, the days are getting longer. Ohhhh....easter is around the corner...life is good!!
Until tomorrow...good night and god bless~

Ella and Ollie Pillow's..

HELLO Zeta's....so sorry I have been away, life just got busy. Today is Saturday and i should be back on track. I just thought I would keep this short but very very sweet. This Christmas I made pillows for the two little ones, I also made Mac one too ( Mom's dog) I just really liked the concept of them having their own pillows. Today i took away the old blankets from the fire place and put these pillows into place.

 They seem to like them, they've been off and on them all day. Last night poor Ollie was sick again, the same illness he suffered from last winter. I was concerned he would have me up all night, but he didn't. He just snuggled into me and fell asleep. I can see that sun shining outside and I am getting so excited for summer. Can't wait to get back to the cottage..this year I have decided that I am going to try different low calorie drinks. I've been searching for recipes...I suppose those would make good blog posts. I could share with you the ones I like and the one's I don't.
Well friends, I am off...until tomorrow, good day and god bless~

Lemon Meringue Pie...In a Jar~

So I found this website via Pinterest and thought it was pretty cool to try some desserts in Jar's. Stay tuned my Zeta's I plan on trying a few more of these beauties in the near future. Tonight I made Lemon Meringue Pie in a Jar. They turned out so good..the family really enjoyed them. The only thing I would do differently is smaller Jar's. These were a bit too big, so the dessert was really filling. I had a bit to much Meringue, but I had to have lots inorder to fill the jar so I could brown the meringue.
How to make:
Well I just crushed some graham crackers and melted some butter in the microwave, mixed the butter in with the crumbs and pressed the crust into the bottom of the jar. Then bake at 350 for 10 minutes.
You prepare the lemon pie filling as the instructions say, use the cooked pie filling it works best. I waited until the pie filling cooled then added it ontop of the crust mixture. I refrigerated until I made the meringue.
Meringue: 2 egg whites, beaten until and stiff peaks form. Slowly add 1/4 cup of white sugar and continue beating. Then i topped off the lemon filling with the meringue and put them back in the oven where I broiled for only a few minutes, just long enough to brown the peaks.






This evening everyone was home, so we took advantage of that and watched a family movie.
We watched Summer Rental with John Candy.

Every summer we have certain family movies that we love to watch, this is one of them. I hope for the rest of our lives we get together after the kids are grown and have families of their own, my wish is they always come home for summer vacation and we have these nights.

We also have winter movies that we watch every winter...and even back to school movies, I suppose those ones are over now. Kinda sad...but exciting to think of how things are changing. Well my friends I am off, unitl tomorrow good night and god bless~

When Skies Are Grey~

I am not going to lie, since finding out that some of my daughters friends are reading my blog (which I am thrilled with) I struggle to be open. There are so many things that I want to write about, but the last thing I want to do is to bring uncomfortable conversations to Kailey. So if my darling girls you are reading some of these more "painful" truthful blogs, and you find them hard to understand mostly due to "lack" of life experience. Meaning only that you haven't lived long enough to understand some of the topics, I do not mean any disrespect and to be honest maybe some of you have lived through horrible, terrible painful events and I am just unaware. I am not taking away the experiences that you have struggled through, and I truly believe that each one of you could teach me something in life. My only concern is that my choice to blog about my life is not always easy for Kailey...so I ask with consideration please give Kailey the choice to whether or not she would like to talk about certain blog topics. She's not me...lol..she isn't one to discuss things that maybe painful. Thank you my lovelies...in advance...I appreciate it~ xo

This being one of those blogs~
It is no secret to many of my friends and family as through the years I have revealed my years of wanting to give up. I love here what Juliette Lewis has written, and it speaks volumes to me. The truth to my life lies deep in that quote. I know many people have suffered through depression and mental health....at times finding their lives to difficult to proceed through.
I guess in my life, having to live with guilt around having a terrible accident that had unfortunaly  paralyzed my son...that in my darkest moments, I wanted to die. How do you get up every morning, make a cup of tea, feed the dogs, check the calender to see what appointments we had that day, and then go into your child's bedroom and face what you feel "was your fault?" Every morning I faced, his little body lying in his bed, unable to move himself. He'd wake up, I would set my tea on his nightside table and put on my smile, in hopes that he'd smile back because if he did...I felt he was not blaming me. In reality, he had no idea when he was little what had happened to him, he didn't remember being in that car seat, or making that left hand turn....he knew something was different, but he didn't understand. I'd do his exercises, dress him, get him into his chair...or put him on the floor cause for a short while he was able to crawl...and while smiling cause it was all I could do, we'd start our day.
Please know....and I stress STRONGLY, that I wasn't always sad. I wasn't always wanting out of my life, it came in phases....and it usually passed quickly as I did realize how unfair it was of me to feel so selfish.
It's only looking back know I see my true strength. I remember some terrible dark moments, mostly when I was alone and had too much time to think...in the midst of my day there was no time to think, I was way to busy. It was usually during alone car rides..when it was quiet and I had time to think. Thinking back to those car rides, i'd scream, cry, swear and then pray. I would pull into my driveway, turn off my car and wait for the tears to dry. I would think to myself, get a grip, stop this...grab whatever strengh I could muster up.  One of the hardest things I had to do was smile, and change my mood quickly cause when I walked through my front door and had to face my family. I mean who gave me the right to take away their happy? Hadn't I done enough already? So in I would go..smile on, ready to continue with our lives, I would dive right into bath routines, bed time stories and late night snuggles.
As far as ever really wanting to end my life, I didn't ever make any plans or even in reality think of a way to do it. I mean, of course the occassional thought would cross my mind, but the power of positive thinking quickly shut that out. Not to mention the extensive counselling I had endured to help with my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The tools I had been taught helped tremendously with my many emotions I suffered from daily.
 Again, it is amazing how a mothers love can over come anything for the love of her children. Even though today in my life, I still have days far and few in between where the emotions of my tragedy creeps up and into my life. It is thoughts of my family that keeps me grounded, reminds me of why I am living today. In my gloomiest of days, I always knew I had a job to do. I had children whom I loved with all my heart, and they had expectations of me. It was my purpose to make them happy, fill their days with joy...so my feelings had to take a back seat, like I said there was no time for my sadness or my depression. Do you see why having Kailey was the best thing we did? I had to be sure that little girl didn't suffer the effects of my heavy-hearted emotions, she wasn't even here for all of that. Why would I continue to make Braden suffer with my terrible thoughts of anguish, even though sometimes looking at him was incrediably painful, due to my own guilt. I did know deep down, I couldn't do that him...he didn't deserve that.
With all that said...it was never easy and eventually I will get the strength to write about those moments where I did lash out, and unfortunatly those around paid for it. I wasn't always smiling and truth is...there were times I couldn't fake it. I was horrible, I was abusive and I was mean. I have much to write, because deep down I am human...and I know there are others out there who suffer the same kind of pain that I have. I feel they need to know, they can get through it...they can live again, hopefully guilt free. I look at my family today and we have done a pretty awesome job. Both my kids are very well rounded individuals, so even though I made mistakes sometimes....I fixed them. I made it better...and today we smile, and in all honesty my smiles are real~

{I will not write here in this blog some of the moments of impact cause I must save that for the book...and besides like I had explained whatever i write here on my blog...Blogger itself owns. I can't give them my stories~}