Fashion Friday

 

Anyone who knows me, knows I am loving Owls these days. I know its a fad that came in a few years ago and I am sure it will fade, but until then I still enjoy searching the internet for new cool Owl Ideas.

Check out these awesome vintage Owl earrings...how adorable are these? Love them, whenever I head out into an antique shop or a small crafty shop I search for something like these. I'd love a pair of vintage owl earrings...`

Love these too....

Cute little studs...probably my favorite, except i'd probably prefer a diamond for eyes. The blue sapphire is pretty but I think a nice diamond would suit me better.

 

So with today being Fashion Friday, I kinda figured I'd touch on my kids favorite fashion idea's. Braden has been into G-Star Raw for a very long time. Recently he found a store in Toronto, and he went on a shopping spree spending WAY to much money!!! G-Star was a store we would hit up in New York City..he loved going there. When we were home he would order on line, but thankfully we finally have one in Toronto...so great for him. Below is an outfit from G-Star...something I think Braden would wear!

Kailey seems to be liking the ever flattering Brandy Melville this summer. We went on a shopping spree for her in the spring and she managed to get some really nice stuff. I do like this store, i like how "Baggy" the items are, its one of those stores with no sizes...one size fits all pretty much.

Kailey bought these shorts pictured above, I love them..they are higher waisted...so cute on her!

She also bought this top..of course I love it, so vintage...and the old style camera`s are just the cutest!! If you are looking for a Brandy Melville, there is one on Queen st W in Toronto..and we found one at Yorkdale Mall in TO as well. 

 

This quote is what I live by...many of you know that I wear my short shorts all year round..and this my friends validates my thoughts on my choice to do so. LOL...I don`t really care what people think, especially right now while my hot flashes are showing NO mercy.  

 

I will leave you with this gem. How pretty is this little ring. Loving it!! This is something that I will continue to search for in antique shops...or maybe something similiar? Well happy Friday..its a dark, dreary day here at the cottage, so much rain!! Just relaxing today..getting some blogging done and spending time with my hubby. Hopefully it clears up as we have friends heading down here tomorrow...praying for sunshine and warm temperatures! Until tomorrow my friends..good day & god bless~

Thursdays Thoughts and Ramblings...Before You Speak.

This saying is something I plan on eventually printing and framing for myself and for each of my kids. I think this is a VERY important life message that I would like my family to always remember.
This is a lesson in life that took me a little to learn...seriously, i am a very passionate person especially when it comes to my family. I have said things that I regret to many people..mostly those who have challenged me with my choices around my children.
Lets take a look at the gates discussed in this quote...
Gate one..Is it true? This is vital, unless you know the words you are about to speak are true, maybe you should rethink your thoughts.
Gate two..Is it necessary, this is one that is very important to me. There have been many times I have wanted to say something to someone, but then re-evaluating my words...I realize that my words may be hurtful or may not even have the effect I would want on that person.I mean really think about it...if you say what you want too will it really make  you feel better or the other person to feel worse? Doesn't matter how loudly or strongly you voice  YOUR opinion..if the other party doesn't want to hear it, they won't appreciate it.
Gate three...Is it Kind, this is probably the most important to teach your children. It kinda goes with parenting. If you say something "negative" or "correcting" to your child, husband or family member...its important to follow it with something positive. I have tried very hard to practice this one, even though I may voice my concern and it may come across unkind or negative...if I truly feel its a necessary to say.,.I try to follow it with a positive kind comment.
Well friends, I am out. I have had one hell of a week...including today. What a mood I was in earlier..everything seemed to be going wrong. Thankfully things turned a corner..and once again I have resumed to my happy place.
Good night my friends and god bless~

Instantly Wednesday...Canada day cake balls

Well friends I am by far too tired to do a post tonight so I will leave you with this Instagram picture from today. I managed to dip a few cake balls in between attending to Braden's never ending needs today. Today was just one of those days and as I sit hear posting this there are 500 things I am behind on inorder to get ready for the cottage. It's just plain overwhelming...I'm out. 

Tuesdays Talk...Special Needs Moms worry about dying.

Last week we touched on the topic of Special needs mom have to work extra hard on their marriages. This week will be Special Needs Mom's worry about dying.
All us mom's worry about dying...having a son with special needs doesn't make me any more "special". However when we are raising a child with many different needs...us mom's worry about our child dying, our husbands dying and leaving us alone to care for all the needs by ourselves. We also stress that we ourselves will become ill or die. We worry constantly of that, there was a time when I was having open heart surgery back when Braden was 4 years old and Kailey was 1..just a baby. I remember speaking to some of my friends...asking them if I were not to survive this surgery, please stay in my children's life, continue to support Paul. I remember talking to Paul about him moving on..choosing a woman who puts our children first, Braden's needs above anything else....It was terrifying. Such a stress to worry about all those possibilities. Obviously I recovered and I did so very quickly. Thanks to my parents...they helped Paul keep things organized and straight while I was in hospital..when I returned home from Toronto..my mom was the first on hand to take care of me. Paul returned to work eventually..and I was home with my parents who ran the show while I took some time off to get my strength back. It was a challenging time, but thankfully we survived and I could rest knowing I would be around for some time.
The fear of loosing my son's life is a whole other ball game. I worry constantly...still to this day, Its on my mind at least once a day. You always live on the edge, it sucks..but its our reality. In the early years..it was more prominent, there was a threat every winter as he would end up with pneumonia and back on life support. That subsided as he got older, unfortunatley the fears just changed they didn't disappear. Problems with his spine, breathing, spinal cord, bowels...all those things consistently threatened his life, everytime he was in hospital we would relive the fear of him dying. I guess eventually I will have to admit out loud that I have lived with so much guilt...the thought of Braden dying only added more. Theoretically to me...if he were to not survive an illness..It would be my fault. It would be due to the accident shortening his life, I will always worry for my son. I hope and pray every day that he lives a long healthy, happy life.
Us parents are constantly concerned about who will care for our child if we were to die, even when he is an adult. What happens if we were to die before having everything in order? I am always worried that Braden will end up with no funds available for his care when he is middleaged or elderly..and we will no longer be here to be his advocates.

There is so much to get worked out. I mean the plan is for him to get married someday and have his own children...just like everyone else. Being the family we are his own family will be close enough to us that they too will be "trained" to understand their fathers/husbands life and his needs that are of most important. My hopes someday is to expand to our family team, eventually adding Kaileys family to the mix. Kailey has been raised to understand her brothers life, his medical issues and even some of his financial statuses.

 Paul and I made a pack very young into this life together that we would remain close as a family, raise our children to be individuals and to continue to support eachother. It is VITAL in our family that we stay close, and it is something that I will not give up on. We are also blessed to have my parents available..and it is them who take care of Paul and I, leaving us the strength to be strong for our own children.
'Well friends its late, I am tired..the last couple days have been exhausting. The hubby is home tomorrow thank god...I miss him and I need a bit of a break! So until tomorrow good night my friends and god bless~

Mondays Menu...Bacon Wrapped, Cream Cheese Stuffed Chicken Breasts.

Bacon Wrapped, Cream Cheese Stuffed Chicken Breasts: SHARE SO THIS SAVES TO YOUR TIMELINE!!!

1 boneless skinless chicken breast
2 tablespoons cream cheese
... 1 tablespoon green onion, Chopped
2 pieces bacon, Partially Cooked

Directions:

Pound out Chicken breast so it is about 1/4" thick.

Mix together cream cheese and green onions and spread cheese mixture over 1 side of chicken breast.


Place on baking sheet and back for about 30 minutes at 375.

Broil for about 5 minute to crisp bacon.

 

 

 

 Roll CHicken breast up to conseal cream cheese.

 Wrap partially cooked bacon around chicken breast and secure with toothpick.

Finished product...seriously friends...we LOVED this meal. I would definatley recommend this one. I used Garlic and Herb cream cheese and I think I should have added some parmeasan cheese as well. Just a thought if you try it...make it your own. We had rice and a nice fresh garden salad to complete this meal. Just delicious!! Until tomorrow my friends..good night & god bless~

Canadian advertizing at its best....Way to go Giant Tiger!!!

     Was looking through the flyers this weekend and came accross the Giant Tiger sales and was happy to see these advertisements. You don't often see adverstising companies using those in wheelchairs or those with differently abled abilities. I was so pleased to see this...So impressed with this Canadian company. Not that it makes a huge difference really, but its nice to see all sorts of people used in their sales ads. Our world is made up of so many individuals, that it only makes sense to incorporate everyone. The more others start to add a better quality ad to their sales industry the sooner others in our own societies look outside the "simple box" of "cliques and conformatey. Way to go Giant Tiger..you are way ahead of many advertising companies, nice to see!!

 

Hoping everyone had a great weekend! Mine was very nice, reading a new book which is having a bit of an impact on my mood lately. It's called "i'll see you again", by Jackie Hance. Wonderfully written book, about a mother and father who loose their three little daughters in a horrific car accident, the girls were coming home from a camping trip with their aunt. The family was unaware at the time that their lives would be changed forever when the aunt was found to be driving drunk going the wrong way on a highway. Eight people tragically killed due to this woman's mental state.

I am still doing sort of research on others who write books based on their own lives. Its amazing how much I can relate to some of this mothers grief. I mean...I am NOT comparing my situation to her's in any way. I am not taking away from her story or her pain and suffering, but I am stating that some of her feelings, situations and coping mechanisms are familiar to myself. Some of the emotions she feels are real to me...the feelings between her and her husband are relatable to myself and Paul. Its a great book, one that should be read with respect. I hope to heal further in my journey as she did through writing. Well my friends, I am out..until tomorrow good night & god bless~

Dog days Saturdays...Dog beds!

 

 

 

Check out these dog car beds..aren't they something else? I would LOVE To get one for Oliver but I can't justify 200.00 for a dog bed. Besides its actually Finn who needs a new bed. I think for her birthday this year I will get her one of those nice dog orthopedic beds...I think they even have an option to warm up. She will be 7 years old, and she is already having difficulty getting up off the floor. I think she will love a new comfy bed. Tonight we walked the dogs and came accross a lady who had an 8 week old Yorkie with her. OMG it was sooooo cute!!! Made me want another one...He was so small...not smaller than Ollie was but he was small. They appropriately named him Napoleon..which will eventually suit his little big man complex.

 

 

 

Of course we got caught in the ran...wasn't too bad as it felt so good on our skin, it was so muggy out. Over all it was a successful day, no cottage this weekend. Paul leaves tomorrow so we wanted to stay close to home and get a few things done around here. Well my friends...I am out, until tomorrow good night and god bless~

 

T

Fashion Friday...Summer time love~

 

One of my favorite things to do is search around on Pinterest and look out outfits that others put together. You really do get some simple cute ideas that anyone can literally pull off. Know I am not much into fashion, the most I do is look up whats in at any given time and buy staple pieces to get me by each fad we go through. The picture below is one of my favorites...The rose gold watch is gorgeous and I so wanted one for a long time, I actually wanted a Fossil rose gold watch. I need to remember that its ok to buy a cheaper one from places like H & M, where its cheaper but can complete an outfit nicely. I love everything about the outfit below...its a favorite.

 

 

 This outfit shown below is one I liked probably for Kailey, its cute and I love the colors. I wouldn't think to put this scarf with that top...but when I see them together...it looks really good.

Ya'll know how much I love my jean shorts...explains why I have chosen this outfit. SO cute, and totally something I could pull together and so can you!! Have a wonderful Friday Night my friends untill tomorrow good night and god bless~

Thursday Thoughts and Ramblings...

Married to a busy man...

 

 

So how many women and men out there can go a whole day without talking to their significant other?? This is actually pretty new territory for me...I barly get a chance to speak to hubby during the day anymore. I tend to text him at least once aday...and on a good day I hear something back from him. Unfortunately if I haven't heard from him by mid-afternoon I text him again to see if he is going to be late or not. I try to time dinner in order for everyone to be home. With Braden being out of school for the summer...most of us are here at dinner so we have seemed to resumed back to our normal dinner routine. As many of you know that makes me so very happy...love my family home for dinner, probably always will. When the kids were little for the most part we had every night home for dinner...I would say today we make at LEAST 3 nights out of seven with everyone present. I'll take it...can't complain.
Ok, so back to the whole speaking to your partner during the day. For YEARS i had unlimited access to my husband while at work, they just understood that I may need him at any given time. I could interrupt meetings, lunch, and his regular daytime routine and no one ever had a problem with it. Paul has always been successful in his job, he has always been respected and appreciated...where ever he has worked they have loved him, and they have been very fair to his needs here at home.
With having a commitment to his homelife, he has had to put some of his career advances off until it was the right time for our family. His work has always wanted him to "do" more, or have more "responsibility" over his department. They have asked him to travel, dinner dates with clients and smooze over potential customers. Knowing that advancing in his job at the wrong time would have caused him to be stretched too thin. He knew us at home would suffer and that he wouldn't be able to give 100% to his job because his home life would suffer.
I have always felt some guilt over that...at times I felt he was held back(only due to his choices) because I still needed him home at a certain time, or he would miss meetings due to appointments. He never complained...I am truly blessed.
A couple years ago his work approached him again...asking if he was ready to "move" up and go into management...I knew he wanted too..I knew he was ready, but he felt he needed to discuss it with me. I have always been thankful to him for his commitment to his family, and he is such a hard worker...I told him to go for it! Take advantage of the companies offer...enjoy your career, get in there and show them what you can do!! He did just that!
He is doing incrediably well...loving his position, loving the travel (leaves Sunday again)loves the schmozzing clients and he LOVES the perks of those who try to schmooze him for the compainies business. Its so cool to see him in this role, he's so grown up!! We went to a Valentine's dinner back in February, we were invited to attend a dinner and dance at the Royal York. It was wonderful, and really it was the first time I saw Paul in such a professional manner. He all of a sudden seemed "older" more mature...He was a business man amougst a group of other business men.
So, with this new role also comes the lack of communication during the day. I don't hear from him often anymore, and he rarely gets the chance to answer my texts. Its all totally fine, I mean I am a big girl, i can make decisions on my own and I can take care of things here without his input...but I miss him. I miss chatting with him during the day. I know this is how most of you live, its normal not to talk to eachother throughout the day...but, its is something we have HAD to do for years. We touched base everyday at least 2x..."How was Braden's appt?" "How is Kailey feeling?" "How did therapy go"? "How are you feeling?" etc etc...never ending.
That is why I believe things will happen at the right time, Paul could not advance in his job for years...it just wouldn't have been good for our family. But, everyone is grown up and becoming less dependant...so its the perfect time for Paul to excel and do well. He is loving it, he is more stressed than ever in his work...but he is good at what he does and he is great at conflict resolution so he manages just fine. I miss him....I miss our conversations during the day, with that said...it just makes our evenings that much more fun, cause we have so much to catch up on!! Proud of you Sparkee...keep kickin ass!!

Instantly Wednesday...Adrenaline Tattoo's

Well friends...here is the almost final product of Braden's biotech tattoo. He has to go back in 3 weeks for final touch ups and they want to check it to be sure all the ink is good and Braden is satisfied with the final result. My goodness if I could recommend a place in Toronto to get a tattoo it would be Adrenaline tattoo shop on Queen st W. they are an amazing group of guys and gals who strive to make you comfortable and satisfied. We are so impressed with their company, and I am sure Braden will be heading there again in the future for more work. Great Job Braden I know how long you had to endure the pain of this tattoo..and I know how much it means to you! I love it!!

Mondays Menu...

Simple 5 Ingredient Crock Pot Chicken Teriyaki

 

If you are a crock pot cooking mom then you will love this simple 5 ingredient crock pot chicken teriyaki recipe we found on Pinterest.

 Placed the chicken at in the crock pot...probably should have cubed the chicken first. I just tore it into pieces when it was finished cooking, turned out just fine.

 Sauce to pour over top of chicken...

Final product..

Ingredients:

1lb chicken (sliced, cubed or however)
1c chicken broth
1/2c Teriyaki or soy sauce ( with or without sesame seeds)
1/3c brown sugar
3 minced garlic cloves
Corn Starch
Directions:
There were no actual directions posted with this on Pinterst so my guess is. Place chicken in bottom of crock pot then in separate bowl whisk together remaining 4 ingredients then pour onto chicken in crock pot.
Cook on high for 4 to 6 hours or low 6 to 8 hours.
If sauce is runny follow this tip from one of our moms who tried out this recipe: Mix 2 tbs of cornstarch with 2 tbs water and pour it into the sauce.

This was actually pretty good, not my favorite and I probably won't make it again. I will continue to search for a Teriyaki chicken recipe that I like. Its a cheap recipe with only 5 ingrediants...however I had to buy a jar of teriyaki sauce and I only used 1/2 cup. Next Monday I will feature a different recipe that uses the Teriyaki sauce that I bought.
I also made a dessert tonight. It is also a very EASY recipe...I made Carrot cake muffins with butter icing. My goodness they are so good. Now in todays crazy, busy world the point of Monday's menu is to provide quick easy recipes so that parents can get home from work and make a healthy tasty meal that their kids will like. The same goes for dessert. I do have an amazing Carrot cake recipe that is delicious but not fast enough for through the week. Its a recipe you could use during a holiday like easter or even a baby shower. Tonight I used a boxed carrot cake and it was really good.

 The icing is a butter/sugar icing that is SOOOO good. It is a recipe given to me by a friend. I really like this icing on red velvet, or carrot and pumpkin cupcakes..and/or cakes.
Here is the recipe for the icing..
1c. milk
4 tbsps flour
1c sugar
1c butter
2 tsp of vanilla


Directions:
Cook milk and flour until thick and set aside to cool..as seen below

Beat soft butter with sugar until creamy and add vanilla

 Add thickened milk to butter and sugar and use electric mixer on high until smooth.

 Piping icing onto the cupcakes

 They are delicious. The family loves them!!

Well friends, have a good night...until tomorrow god bless~

Happy Fathers Day...to my Daddio, my hubby and my father in law!

I don't have anything really planned out well for this post, I actually spent my time tuned into my family this weekend. I stayed off of social media and just relaxed and enjoyed my time with the family at the cottage. I'd just like to wish my hubby, my daddy and father in law a VERY happy Fathers day. I love you all...and I am so blessed to have all of you in my life. To my dad....you have and always will be the rock who holds this family grounded. I love you for that. To my husband..you are the best father i could have ever chosen to have a family with. Thank you for being so attentive to our children and for always holding me through the good and the bad. There are not many men who could take on the life that we have together. You are strong emotionally, mentally and physically and for that we are STRONG together. I will love you forever. It was wonderful having my father in law at the cottage this weekend, He is a man that I admire and look up to as a man who has strength, kindness, and so much love for his family. They are a lucky bunch to have such an amazing man at the head of that table. I had 3 of the most important fathers all under one roof...and that is a blessing. Those are the moments that I cherish and that I am so thankful for. To all you dad's out there...hope you had the chance to celebrate the day with your family. To all my uncles, brother in laws, my brother, cousins and friends who are fathers...Happy Fathers Day~
Here are some pictures from our weekend...It was lovely!

Dog days Saturdays...

A day reserved for my puppies because I love them so much!! Below is a picture taken at the cottage. Finley is all cozy with Kailey on an air mattress while we watch a movie! It was a rainy day...good day for a movie!

Fashion Friday's...Is back!!

Well friends its Friday and I should be posting something about fashion. Unfortunately I did not plan well and I am sitting on the couch at my cottage. I have nothing ready for fashion Friday, I will leave you with this awful picture of Paul and I. It's certainly not flattering but it was taken here at the cottage a couple weeks ago. We had the weekend to ourselves and made some cesear's!! 

Have a good weekend my friends I will be better prepared tomorrow! Good night and god bless~

Thursday's Thoughts...Ramblings of a wife and mother of 2 crazy teens.

Lets dedicate Thursdays to more useless ramblings...I'm still investigating other blogs and trying to come up with ideas. I have to admit I am getting bored of the things that i use to blog about...so I kinda want to leave Tuesdays as my day of venting or shall I say discussing things related to the past, present and future of raising a child/young adult with a physial disability and medical issues. I have so much to say about the last 19 years...but i'm sure to you it gets boring after awhile. Not to sure what to do with Thursdays...maybe I'll just leave it completely open to whatever it is I feel like writing about. I know one thing for sure...I have to get my own domain going, because once I start getting deep into my life, I don;t want someone out there to take my words and make them their's.
Another small issue is the idea of writing about my children and their lives today, I have to respect their privacy....i don't want to write about things going on in their lives unless of course I have permission. Braden is a bit more open to the idea...where as Kailey is more reserved, and rightfully so.
Speaking of respecting their privacy...I have to admit I am pretty happy that during my times of suffering, pain and anguish almost 20 years ago there was no place like facebook,twitter and instagram to share my thoughts and feelings everyday.
I find in todays world parents jump on social media and talk about their children{s} lives, pain and situations. Post status about their health, their appts, their strengths and weaknesses.  What happens when they grow up and realize everyone knows their buisness? When they realize that the most unimportant people know things about them that they wish would have remained private. I'm not sure how Braden would react to that today, if I would have shared all his pain, his proceedure's, his personal medical information years back....I really think he'd feel slightly violated, i'm sure that he'd feel a bit out of control because i took that choice from him. Even today before I post anything...I get permission.
With that....I am so happy we didn't have social media at that time, and I gently warn anyone who uses it as an outlet to be careful, choose your statuses wisely. Post happy things..post things that will make your friends smile, and you will be sure to know that your children will not grow up questioning your choices regarding their privacy.
You may be wondering where all this is coming from, but its been building up for years...i've sat silent mostly because I have had too, and truthfully...it was the right thing to do. With social media being so prelevant in our lives today..I read things on facebook about people's lives..I follow the Cambridge Support page for Kayla B. and the importance of organ donation. There are so many conversations that take place at our dinner table regarding these things we see and read on facebook, it then occurred to me..I can't even imagine the things said around some families tables when I had my car accident.
If I would have had a social outlet like facebook i'm worried that out of anger, fear or frustration I would have posted statuses around those things, and I truly believe I would have regretted it. I would have fueled the fire for conversations being had in families that I didn't really know. Statuses get misunderstood and taken out of context, how would that have been fair to Braden and/or my family.
This being the point i am trying to make....
I know there are MANY misconceptions out there regarding my accident...so many people are misinformed...even most family don't have all the facts, with that said...THANK GOD!
I couldn't imagine back then focusing on "what people know", "What people think" or even caring about those things. I didn't have the time to worry about those things...if you wanted to know how things were going, you had to be the one to call and find out.
During those times I couldn't even fathom jumping on a facebook/twitter account and "updating" anyone on what was happening in my life. I am SO thankfull that we didn't have that option...thankful that still today our life during tragedy is still private. Its OUR story, eventually the truth will be told, hopefully through my book...and all misconceptions will be cleared up.
I guess there is a time in life when you feel its right to "open"up and share your story. For those of you who care...I will be happy to share that with you, because I can share with clarity.
Through the years I have heard many people discuss our buisness with myself or others and for what I have heard....MOST everything is misinterpreted. There is NO one who knows everything about our lives, and unless you heard it directly from myself or Paul, then please know..you are probably misinformed.
I am also not new to the fact that sometimes facebook/twitter and instagram are amazing outlets to keep people connected. Anyone who knows me is well aware that I am the first to hop on facebook and share a picture or a story around my family life. I LOVE FACEBOOK,  and sometimes on a really really crappy day there is nothing better than posting that and recieveing all the love from friends and family...I for one have been affected by that. Lets not forget the importance of sharing big events on social media and then basking in all the wonderful comments left by those who care...once again, I for one have experienced that. I love that my family/friends can take part in big events and see picture of the things I am most proud of.
My point with this post is...
"I am so thankful I did not have any social media outlets back when I was living through my own personal tragedy. I would be afraid of the things I may have posted and then regretted. I am thankful that I waited to share information about my son...until he gave me the permission too."
I believe in times of fear and/or anguish we also reach out to social media, we share things that we may regret one day..and once it is out there..it cannot be removed. That my friend is why I am happy WE didn't have these outlets, be careful what you post/tweet or instagram its not just your life you are sharing, its your childs..and they should have a right to choose.

Instantly Wednesday...Instagram shot of the week.

How is this idea for Wednesday's posts? Instagram is such an important part of my life, I LOVE my iphone and I love taking pictures with it. This also gives me the opportuntiy to have an evening off if life is too busy...its simple to just send a quick instagram pic to my blog and post that.
We went to see The Internship last night...date night. It was so nice to get out together, the movie was really cute. We both liked it and would reccommend it.

 

 

Tuedays Talk...God, I'm Lonely

     So we'll make Tuesday's the day that I talk...it will be whatever subject is on my mind or whatever is happening in the news or maybe something that I have read and has affected me. Maybe it will be a marriage, parenting, friendships...could be anything.
Once I move this blog to my own website or domain I will be changing the name to.."When skies are grey"... thats a possible book title as well. I'm sure you've figured its a line from the childhood song "You are my sunshine". A song I use to sing all the time to Braden while I sat at bedside, and also a song sang to Kailey when she happily came along.
I've been reading through some blogs of Special Needs mom's and came accross a post that struck a chord with me. I am sure many of us mothers of special needs kids feel the same way...for me, it was a long time ago but the memories are still there and the lasting effects are still a painful feeling for me.
This mom starts her blog with 6 Things A Special Needs Mom won't tell you, and she proceeds with 6 facts..we just don't share. One of them, which happens to be the first thing on her list is...
 1. Special Needs Mom's are Lonely....
There are so many secrets we keep, things we don't share and one definately is the fact that through the years I didn't have time to nurture certain relationships. I remember aching for more time with friends and family, just wanting to share in things that at a time I couldn't. It was a difficult time, mind you..I did have play dates with friends, some of these friends would bring their children over to sit and play with Braden. As Kailey became older the times got more difficult, most times friends would come over and the kids would want to run and play..chasing eachother, swimming, running..all the things Braden couldn't do. I would find myself tied up in a web of reaching out to Braden, trying to show him another way to play with these kids while they ran around him. I worried all along, what this would do to Braden's emotional well being. This leaving me with very little time not or opportunity to really sit and engage in my friend over tea. Thankfully my friends understood that, they were wonderful.
I never had time to make phone calls, or send emails..my time was spent hovering, making sure things were fine and fun for my child(ren). Then I felt spread thin because I needed to be sure Kailey was recieving the attention she deserved, doing crafts with her and her visiting friend..or running to the pool shed to fill water guns for her and her friends, or watching them swim...it was non-stop supervising. Like most parents we spend our time supervising but when it is watching over a child with special needs its 10x the hovering, watching and supervising. That doesn't leave you time to mingle, relax, laugh and chat with your best girlfriend. I always envied those ladies who could go to a water park, plunk their asses down on a towel, pull out a bottle of ice tea and sit, tan and just talk with their girlfriends while they watched from afar their overwhelmed, excited children. Honestly I am trying not to sound like I am complaining because I am blessed to be home with my kids, I have great friends and my children experience so many things thanks to my "hovering" parenting...sounds like an oxi-moron..how do kids experience things with a parent hovering? A special needs child just does...trust me! Many of my friends and family are even aware of the guilt I had/have...guilty for everything. Can't get together...have to cancel plans..no time to chat...forget to send emails...forget birthdays...anniversaries...no drop in coffee's....forgot to call to fill them in on doctor appts...the guilt I carry is endless. Even with family, there were relationships that we just couldn't nurture or give alot of time too. NOT that we didn't want too...WE DIDN"T HAVE THE TIME! and I feel guilt over that too. I think a life time of parenting a special needs child puts you into a "bubble" that protects you, the only ones you let into your bubble are the ones who understand or tolerate your lack of availability in conversing regularily in a friendship. Those who don't get upset that you don't have time to always be present. The lonely moments are the ones when someone doesn't understand. The ones who make you feel guilty (when you already do) about not responding to an email, or phone call are the ones who you tend to delete from your life. Again...GUILT. Its difficult to do that, but you learn to put whats important first..and that happenes to be the four of us. Our family.
My lonely years are over..Paul and I are finding it easier to entertain our friends, nurture our friendships. We can engage with people and not worry so much about the kids anymore. They have their own lives, its amazing to see the small group of friends we had 20 years ago are still the ones in our pictures today.
And to each of them...I thank you for being there!

Monday's Menu Returns!!

Yes, I have decided to keep Monday's menu...those whom I have spoken too seem to really like the simple, easy menu's that I cook and post. Here are a couple pictures from tonights dinner...I think I actually may have already done this pasta dish on here a couple years ago. But I had all the ingrediants already here and decided to just go ahead and make it anyways.
Have you tried the new Philadelphia Chocolate Cream Cheese spread?? I have been wanting to try it, so I did and I really liked it. It would be good on a bagel, toast, croissant...maybe even french toast. Just thought i'd share that with you.
Below is the recipe and cooking instructions for this dish....
ITALIAN SAUSAGE AND RIGATONI BAKE

 

2 lb. Italian sausage

1 cup sliced mushrooms

1 green pepper, diced

1 can (680 mL) spaghetti sauce

4 cups penne pasta or rigatoni, cooked

2 cupsKraft 4 Cheese Italiano Shredded Cheese

3/4 cupKraft 100% Parmesan Grated Cheese

make it

BROWN sausage; breaking up slightly while cooking. Place in a large saucepan with mushrooms and peppers. Stir in spaghetti sauce. Bring to a boil reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes. Add pasta to sauce.
SPOON 1/2 of the rigatoni mixture into a 13 x 9 inch (3.5 L) baking dish. Top with 1/2 of the cheeses; repeat layers.
BAKE at 375°F (190*C) for 20 minutes    

After dinner tonight I made a VERY simple dessert using up some of the ingrediants we have here at hime. See the promise that I made to myself this year was that I would use up the food in my fridge and cupboards..so far I've done really well. I had some cool whip that I wanted to use up before it went bad in the fridge. So i made this simple, easy, yummy pear dessert.

5 MINUTE PEAR CRUMBLE

What You Need

1 can (19 fl oz/540 mL) pear slices, drained

8 Nilla Vanilla Wafers, coarsely crushed

1/2 cup thawed Cool Whip Whipped Topping

1/8 tsp. ground cinnamon

Make It

SPOON pears into 4 dessert bowls.
SPRINKLE with wafer crumbs.
COMBINE Cool Whip and cinnamon; spoon over desserts

Paul enjoying his dessert!! LOL He is in Braden's room watching part of a video Braden has been working on. Seriously my son has some amazing talent. You should see this next clip he is making...special effects are so cool. Hopefully I will be able to post it on my blog when its finished.

 

I'd like to announce that my good friend Candy is making her own blog. YES she is...its going to be a cooking one. I am so happy for her...she is a wonderful cook and an even better baker. I will let you know what her site is once she is up and running. I will certainly be trying her recipes. Next Monday I hope to have a better dinner...something more challenging. With that said, i do enjoy posting simple recipes and that was the point for Monday's menu. I like my dinners to be quick, healthy and cost efficient. I think i have some pretty good idea's for my format...looking forward to sharing that with you!

Good night my friends & God Bless~

Sundays Fun day!!

Ethan spent the night so we decided to head down to Southworks Antique Shop, he found just a couple treasures!

Ethan checking out a few things!

My typical finds.. I love my cameras!

Came home and Ethan decided to go for a swim. The awful part if this is that our pool heater is broken so the water is freezing cold. He was determined to swim.. So off he went!

His reaction to the temperature!

Kailey didn't think it was cold enough and felt it necessary to spray him with a hose.....my poor nephew! Well friends, still not feeling well.. So this is a quick post. I am actually doing this post from my phone!! Kinda cool! I am off for the night, so good night & god bless~