#100 Things I Want To Teach My Daughter ~61 Recharge your marriage more than your cell phone
phone away so you are not distracted.
So what I want explain here, to tie in my cell phone charging analogy with marriage you need to understand a few things. When you become married or common law it is so easy to fall into dangerous patterns. Just think how panicked you get when you are waiting for a response from someone who you have texted. How often you look at the phone of wait for the sound of the notification. God forbid your phone is going to die, it’s amazing how agitated we get trying to find a charger or charging station so we can hook that phone up to get what we need from it. We need to energize and activate it, in order to get what we want.
Think of marriage like that, every day spend a moment just to energize or juice it up. That can mean just about anything. In reality most times in a marriage no one has the energy to put more pep into something that requires us too. Especially once we have children. But trust me when I say, marriage comes first, before your children, before your family, BUT not before you!
Let me explain.
In order for you to give attention and time to your marriage, you have to take care of yourself first. Obviously that’s not going to happen every single day, some days when you were little and Braden was sick I didn’t even have time to poop. I couldn’t have imagined going to the gym, meeting friends for coffee or squeezing out a foot rub for your fathers needed time and attention. Lol
It’s about balance. On those days, when we didn’t have time for each other or ourselves it was all about communication. Quick convo’s during the day, we always made time to ask about each others day. We would speak about you and Braden, but then we’d see how eachother were doing. Struggles, feelings, concerns, funny moments, we always checked in with one another. We also made time at the end of the day, once you kids went to bed we had our time. Through the week we made a habit of being together at night. I rarely if ever went out with friends through the week after 9pm. Unless it
was a Pampered chef or Tupperware party I would be home by 9pm to be with dad.
That was one nice thing about him and I, if I needed to get out have coffee with a friend or meet
someone for dinner I always left when he got home from work. I’d be back after your bedtime routine. It was my way of looking after myself, recharging me. But then I would come home and recharge my marriage. I never put anyone before him. EVER.
It might be hard to hear its more important to put your partner before your own children, but truly what is more important to a child. A healthy strong united front presented by both parents OR unhappy, miserable parents who fight and bicker and ultimately can’t stand eachother. Cause let me tell you fox, if that cell phone gets more charging than your partner, the relationship over time will come to an end.
Recharging your marriage doesn’t have to take a whole lot of effort on a day to day basis, you know the evenings dad goes to they gym right after work? That is your father taking care of himself. But
then he comes home with a tea for me. (And you) and that is his way of taking care of his marriage. Something so small, bringing home a tea for me. It makes me happy, makes me smile and then we talk. Always chat with our coffee’s and tea after dinner. Honestly such a small gift at the end of the day, but the meaning is huge. He wants to spend time with me, he want’s to hear about my day, my thoughts and feelings. That my fox is recharging your marriage.
Years ago, nana and papa bought me and dad a small CD player. They had a nice note that stated how important it is too spend time together, they had said every day they have a lie down and listen to their music together. Even if its only for 1/2 an hour, and you do nothing but rest and listen to the music. It will strengthen your marriage. They are absolutely right, that’s recharging your marriage every day for only a few minutes. You will find your charger, the two of you. When you do, put that first. Before anything else.
Love You Fox,
Happy New Year
Love Mom~
