Instantly Wednesday...

Had a meeting tonight at my Women's support group for caregivers of someone who has a Spinal cord Injury, it was a good night!!

A mother of a teenage girl...Tuesdays Talk.

While reading this post please remember that I state clearly in my blog description that my post ramblings are all my own personal thoughts and beliefs. My way of parenting my children may not always work for everyone because all our family situations are not the same.
With all that said...my thoughts of raising a teenage girl are simple.
The most important part in my opinion for raising a teeneage daughter is to remember that they are an individual and they are only trying to find their way in this crazy world, so give space.
Seriously, go back to when we were young ladies of the 80's world, during our idustrialized way of life. Back when women started to join the work force with our fathers and became a part of the factory workers unions. Our mothers and fathers worked long days, in hot, boring, drama filled factors..they'd come home, provide a meal then retreat to their special spots in the house to relax and have some "me"time. As a teenage girl at those times we didn't have cell phones to text our parents, friends or boyfriends. There was no way to control us, no way to keep tabs on us. One thing that stuck with me however was simple.."a curfew"...we didn't need any electronic device other than watch to remind us of the time. It was understood, you be home for 10pm or you won't be going out again for the rest of the weekend.
This is a tactic I still use today..stay in control of the situation..and as long as your teen is making her curfew there should be no need for concern.
Times have changed..we as parents today tend to cater and provide amneties to our children to make thier lives easier. Again, when I was a teen I had to find my way back home..it was my responsibility to get home and on time. Today however, most of us will pick up our children before their curfews or send an older sibling to pick them up. I think its just the way it is today...not sure if its a safty thing? For me, its a safty issue as well as a "lets control the situation" as much as possible.
We all know by the time our children are 15-16 years old, the right of passage from way back to the beginning of time intrigues our teens to start drinking and partying. THIS my friends is a time NOT to get lazy. Back when we had tweens, we could drop them off at friends house and know they'd be spending the night inside the house, listening to music, watching movies and spending time on social media outlets. But once they hit 15 years old...don't be fooled..think back to when we were 15..what were we doing? Exactly...so don't get lazy, don't just drop them off at a friends without checking in with the parents. Or asking the kids what their plans are...luckily my daughter has always told me when she was going to a party.
During these years of parenting a teen girl..it is my biggest opinion to NOT allow sleepovers after parties unless its your home. My reasons being simple. You do not know the others parents expectations...they may not have  rules in their home about a curfew, they may not be up when the kids come home...which means they don't know the state your child is in when they sneak through the front door.
Know we have had a good 6 years of giving up our weekend nights (some) in order to be there for our children. That may sound absolutely ridiculous to some of you..but I will tell you this...I have happy teenagers..whom respect our home, respect us a parents and they respect themselves. I have never had a problem with a drunk out of control teen. This reason, due to the fact that I have allowed them to go to parties, I have allowed them to have alcohol at these parties..there is no lying no sneaking...and I have allowed them to stay until a certain time at night. But I have not allowed her to sleep at friends houses...WE pick them up at every party, midnight...done. Yes at times it has taken a toll..some times we have given up our night as parents, but my child is safe...and she is not out of control. That is whats most important in our life during those teenage years.
Know lets keep in mind the state of you child...for Paul and I both our children are meeting goals and achievements in life, they both have/are completing highschool, kailey is succeeding in getting her drivers license, she has had a part time job, Braden is not driving due to circumstances however he is reaching other milestones which relate to his age...if we were having difficulties getting our teens to finish highschool, have a job or anything related to them influencing thier adult developement...then we would obviously not allow the things we do today.
When parenting a teen always keep things inperspective..remember whats "normal" behaviour...keep in mind what teenagers are "suppose" to be doing during those years of self discovery. You have to let the chain loose, you have to let them make decisions, make mistakes...you can't control it all.
In our home we have always had the sense of family, both Paul and I having an impact on our  childrens lives. We both have always stepped up to there for our kids, even in single parent homes its important to have a feeling of family. Kids who feel safe at home, a sense of belonging...living with boundries and rules always seem to flourish.
With our teen daughter, we have tried to keep communication open. She isn't the easiest one to talk with..she can be pretty quiet (like her dad) but I have learned in time she expresses herself, I just have to remain patient and wait for her to open up. It has taken me sometime to learn that. I need to remember to respect her privacy as well...and I do.
Even at 16 years old, we still have some control over the issue of partying. I do allow her to stay at friends houses after parties occassionally...she is going on 17 years old. For the most part however they do stay here..which is great. I don't ask her to be home anymore for 12am, it is later know...but I do reserve a taxi for her curfew and they are picked up and home on time because I have called. Thankfully the taxi company is aware, and I always ask them to call me if there is any concerns with picking up typically 6-7 girls. Its a great system and I can go to bed at night not worrying about them getting home.
Its not easy raising teens, its exhausting...if your doing it right!! But you have to remember at all times its our job to teach them the rights and wrongs in life....even with partying. There needs to be rules and expectations...they are learning, we need to give them the tools. Hopefully once they are out of your home and on their own, they will have learned from you how to be self sufficient and independant...all while being safe~
I love my kids, they are amazing and I am proud of the job Paul and I are doing!

Mondays Menu...Happy Birthday Finn..

We have always celebrated our pets birthdays..from the time Harley was 1, we made a point of celebrating their lives as well. I guess for us being parents and knowing the how important family meals are we figured..as the kids were growing up we'd take any reason to celebrate. I mean..why not? Seems pretty easy to bake a cake, throw some candles and wrap a couple dog toys..anything to make my kids smile. ANY reason to gather around our family dinner table to talk, smile, laugh and tell stories...I thought it was important when they were young..but I didn't realize the significance it would have as they grew. Nothing more important than having your teenage children celebrate in something that may be so insignificant to some..but so vitally important to our family. Like I said...we have always found any reason to celebrate in this home. We love to spend time together..its just as simple as that~ Until tomorrow my friends, good night and god bless..

Sundays Musings..

Hello Friends...I am back..sorry I left abruptly but I decided to take a break from blogging. All is well, just needed some time away from the old keyboard. I was away through the week with a friend and her son, as well as my nephew and his mom. Was nice to have a great visit with all of them. We had campfires, s'mores,ghost stories..we spent lots of time at the beach. Unfortunatly most of them got burnt due the lack of sunscreen used. Everyone seems to have recovered and are beaming with their beautful sunkissed faces and reddened shoulders.
Spencer came into town yesterday, was wonderful to see him today. My goodness he is all grown up, he is a working man making his own way in the world. He has a car, a motorcycle, a full time job complete with upgrading education to help further his career. He has a girlfriend who he seems very serious with...so much has changed in 2 years since I have seen him last.  We are so proud of him, even though he lives out west, far from us..we still love him and only want to see him happy. His parents are very proud of him, and recently they all travelled to Hawaii to celebrate their 25 wedding  anniversary. What an amazing trip to take as a family, they are a blessed bunch~
Braden is thrilled to have his best buddy back in town, they have a week filled with fun things to do! Its so cool to hear the two of them laughing, and catching up..telling stories...these two will be friends for life, so fortunate.
Well friends..I am off
Until tomorrow good night and god bless~

Thursdays Thoughts and Ramblings...

Have you noticed the trend we are seeing in some parts of Ontario?? Has anyone spotted these signs in store window's?

 

 

 

I am beside myself excited about this! We have travelled to many places..and have found that Ontario has been one of the least friendly dog spots to live. We have been to New York City many times and every time we go it amazes me how dog friendly they are. The stores are wonderful and the hotels are for the most part pet friendly. In Toronto they are similar to NYC, so in my opinion its about time the we catch up. I commend every single store who does this, and I will  choose to shop at those stores over the ones who do not support our furry family members. There is no reason why we shouldn't be able to take our dogs into stores when needed, especially through the summer months when tragedies happen. Good Job to Sobeys and Rona in our area for cathing up to other communities.

Tonight we had a popccorn and movie night we are watching a Beautiful Mind with Russel Crowe, its a favorite one of the kids. Both of them study this movie in school at somepoint, I remember it but needed to watch it again. I had forgotten what a gem it is. Walked the dogs tonight in this heat and almost died, it kills us to walk in the humidity but the dogs sleep so well through the night after a nice walk...its worth it! Well my friends I am off..good night and god bless~

Instantly Wednesday!

Yesterday we finally made it out to the pool for a couple hours!! I had to take a picture of this baby girl out by the pool. She absolutely hates taking her picture, she just isn't one of those girls who like to take pics of herself in swimsuits and post them all over social media...if she won't do it..then I will! LOL she's such a good girl..but when I saw this I thought my god she's beautiful and I need a memory from this summer! I also made lemon water for the kids and myself! It was a nice afternoon, kinda like old times! You won't find us around the pool anymore..no one is ever here! It's sad really but I guess it goes with the change of life! Good night my friends and god bless~

Tuesdays Talk...A personal promise I made to myself.

So many many years ago as I stood at the bedside of my VERY ill son, I reasoned with myself that with whatever the consequences of his recovery..I would forever provide him with the best childhood he deserved.
I had NO idea what I was in for...this whole idea of raising a child with special needs terrified me, it was one train I didn't want to board. Unfortunatly for us..we had no choice it was happening and I had to come to terms with that.
My first thought was...How am I going to make sure he experiences everything all his little buddies were doing? It became my life mission to give him all he wanted and so rightly desereved.
I guess in my mind, he was born able bodied...so why should his childhood change just cause he could no longer walk? People comment today at Braden's strength and positivity he has in this life, the life that became such an obstacle in one left hand turn. I truly believe it was because we had the mind set that he would not miss out. If I were to share any advice today to parents raising a child with a physical disability it would be just that, make it work...what ever it is he/she wants to experience..just MAKE it work. Anything is possible if you want it bad enough, and nothing certainly stopped us. (You can't be lazy while raising a child with special needs..thats for sure).
I also think the best thing we did was have Kailey, seriously we had many predicaments in our family life at times when Kailey would want to do something and Braden wasn't physically capable. But guess what..once again we made it work.
Here are just a small choice of pictures from his childhood...and once again, where there is a will there is a way..and NO was never an option while raising this perfect little boy. If his sister was going to do it...so was he!!

Mondays Menu...Fully Loaded Potatoe Casserole.

Fully loaded potatoe casserole
A must try!!!!
8 medium potatoes, peeled and cut into quarters
1/2 cup cream cheese
1/2 cup sour cream
... 1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup milk
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper (optional)
1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese, divided
8 slices bacon, cooked, chopped, divided
1/2 bunch green onions, sliced

Place potatoes in saucepan, and cover with salted water. Bring to a boil over med-high heat. Cook until tender, then drain well.

Preheat oven to 375° degrees F.

Transfer potatoes back to the saucepan. Masher with a potato masher until almost smooth. Add cream cheese, sour cream, butter, milk, salt and pepper. Continue mashing until smooth. Stir in 1 cup of the cheese and half the bacon. Spoon mixture evenly into a lightly oiled 3-quart casserole dish. Use a spatula or fork to make an irregular surface

Bake for 20 minutes. Top with remaining cheese, bacon and green onions. Bake for 5 more minutes to melt cheese. Serve immediately.

This was really good...I have another similar recipe that i do, and I actually like that one better. This one is good but not my fav.
I don't have to much to say about it...its pretty self explanatory.
I am also really tired tonight, busy day and then ended it with some Kick boxing class. So my friends, I am out. Until tomorrow good night and god bless~

 

Sundays post...on Monday~

Ok, so i am slightly behind on these posts, so here's a quick one for Sunday and I will follow up with a Monday's Menu later today.

 

 

I think this one speaks for itself, Paul and I were just discussing this topic last night on our walk. Then I came home and snooped on Pinterest and found this quote..kinda summed up our whole conversation! 

Dog Dayz Saturdays...

Today was a great day, we had the Martz's Grandkid day and it once again was a success. We had a bbq and cake to celebrate the all the grandkids/nieces/nephews birthdays. Its a good idea actually, the Martz's is a big family with lots of kids so grandpa has one birthday party in the summertime to celebrate each kids special day. Its a great opportunity to get caught up with family, and see whats going on in everyone's life. As the kids get older they are having their own kids..so it seems we have new little one's running around our family table once again. Its a wonderful feeling seeing this family grow and expand. Thank you to Thom and Kathy for opening their home and once again providing a space for everyone to enjoy this special day. Below is a picture of some of the kids..still a few missing, but nonetheless a nice picture~

Fashion Friday...Bores me..

Ok friends we are changing Fashion Fridays cause it bores the hell out of me..I have no idea what I will make Fridays, I will think of something! There is only so much you can discuss as a blogger...I have an idea in mind, I will keep you posted and have something great for next Friday..Until then I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes..

Have a wonderful weekend friends~

Thursdays thoughts and Rambliings..

Sorry my friends that this post is late..we had an exciting evening last night and then I tired quickly and didn't bother logging in to post. We found a wondering puppy last night, he was the cutest little guy. It was hard to believe the owners were not out screaming thier silly heads off with this guy missing, I know if it were me and one of my pups went missing I would loose my mind. We had him for the evening, we walked the neighbour hood, and let those who were outside know where we lived so they could keep their eyes open for anyone looking for their dog. Luckily at around 9:30pm we got a knock on the door and a frantic father was standing there hoping we had his dog. We happily returned Zeus to his owners...and made it clear that lil'Zeus was not microchipped he had no collar or identification on and that is so important especially with these little dogs. They are hard to find when they go missing cause they are so tiny, and hard to see in bushes, behind cars and around fences. We did call the Dog Rescue people, they came and checked him for a microchip, they would have taken him but I had a hard time letting him go. I opted to keep him until his family contacted the pound or came looking for him. He was a cutie, but having him here made me realize that I am not ready for another little dog. I do think we would need to get a puppy and not an older one because poor Ollie was so out of sorts..HE hated Zeus and wanted him gone. Not only Ollie, but poor Maggie was furious...we definately would have to get a puppy so that Ollie still felt like he was boss..and a puppy would grow up with Maggie and not find her strange. Oh well, I am happy everything worked out..my poor Ollie was just a mess~

Special Needs Moms know to savor the gift of a child saying “ I Love You.”

The sixth secret a mom won't tell you is that Special needs mom's know to savor the gift of a child saying "I love you".
Ok this is one secret that isn't really a secret for me..I have never been quiet when I express how grateful I am when my special needs child has told me he loves me.
The most defining moment for myself, was not so much the words that came from his mouth..but more the determination in his eyes he showed me on the day he walked 15 feet without any assistance. He and his EA worked secretly for weeks practicing every day up and down the school hallway to walk unassisted. I will never forget that moment in my life, its up there on the top..with my wedding and the births of both my babies. I sat on a stool at the end of the hallway and watched with admiration as Braden let go of his walking aid and took his first independant steps towards me. I eagerly waited at the edge of my seat watching him intently as he struggled with each step to lift, carry through and plant his foot inorder to do it all over again. He smiled and beamed with pride, never taking his eyes from me. I was sure to show him by the expression on my face that I was fully engolfed in his accomplishment. I was so proud of him, I was in awe of his determination and strength. He was only a young boy of 8, but the stature he carried was larger than a grown man of 40.
The love I have for him was so hard to contain, to be sure to not unsteady his gait I remained seated and still until he made it safely to me. I enveloped him into a huge hug, I couldn't have been prouder.
I spent many years after my car accident just praying that Braden would once again walk, my prayers came true with alot a hard work on his end. It was short lived, unfortunatley he had a set back with took away his ability to feel his left leg. We once again mourned the loss of that, we had some hope for a short time.
When a mother of a child who has developemental special needs hears their child say I love you..I can understand the significance of that. There are moments when some parents worry they will never hear their child say those 3 favorite words.
I am the mother of both, I have a child with special needs and child who I consider special in her own way..without societies labels. I am aware of how easy it can come from her, those three words are spoken daily..many times a day. I do not take that for granted...many parents can, and I understand how that can happen. We get busy, we have jobs and other commitments, bedtimes, social outings...life can get crazy, I get that. But when child who lives through so much pain, assessments, let downs, therapy, needles, scary treatments and  even teasing from peers..at the end of the day when they are tucked into their beds and they still have the strengh to express those 3 beautiful words "I love you", after every thing they have been through...that my friend is amazing! This is why us parents with special needs kids savor the gift of those spoken words. Not many of us after a full day of disappointments can end the day with I love you.
The day that Braden walked for me indepedantly and made my prayers come true, was a day that words would never be able to fully express my gratitude. I felt the love he had for me...I knew my son loved me without him even having to mutter them. He said it all with his eyes...we locked gazes down that hallway and through tears of happiness...I felt his "I love you"...without him even saying it.

Tuesdays Talk...

I am going to switch tonights blog with tomorrow's...and keep it short tonight. We had date night and Paul and I went to the show tonight and saw the movie "The Heat"...OMG..the funniest movie ever!! I recommend this one to everyone, it was hilrious. I just love Melissa McCarthy, her acting is probably my favorite. Sandra Bullock was priceless in this movie as well..the two of them were fantastic together..I hope they come out with a part 2...

 

Kailey is doing online Grade 12 U English, I think it's a smart move on her part to get English out of the way..it then opens up next school year for more free time. She'll be able to have some extra spares which will allow her more time to do homework and study..which then in turn gives her more free time in the evenings. Besides that doing it online  and in the summer she can focus on just her English credit...its ALOT of work, I had no idea how much work it would be for her. But she is doing well and managing her time so far so good. It's only until the end of July, hopefully she keeps going strong and doesn't get to discouraged. Anyways, in this class she is reading "The Book Of Negro's"...I have had my eye on this book for a long time but never bothered to buy it. When Kailey told me she was reading it I decided to read it with her..so I started her book and honestly cound not put it down. Obviously she needed it back, i had a hard time passing it back to her...so I went out and bought my own copy. It truly is one of the best books that I have read..it has a way of making you feel like you are there..right beside the character, feeling the things she is feeling. Its a facinating book..go pick it up and read it..you won't regret it!!!

Mondays Menu is cancelled for today...

I find it harder in the summer especially with having a cottage to stay on top of these posts. I am doing my best, but today I do not have anything planned for Mondays Menu. We got home this afternoon from the cottage, and I still don't know what we will do for dinner. We also have kickboxing tonight..so its going to have to be a quick dinner. Hoping all is well with everyone, I feel like I have been gone along time. I have only been home fro 2 nights these past two weeks..i have alot to get caught up on here at home.

I found this really neat idea on Pinterest, if I were still raising young kids living the busy crazy lifestyle I would totally do this idea. Its great...not sure about you but when the kids were little I was always getting asked "What's for dinner?" still today I get asked that questioned but not as dramatically as I once had. I remember doing something similar to this, I had sticky notes placed on my cupboards so the kids knew what was for lunch and dinner..not every day...just occassionally when I thought of it. I think its great...where was this idea when I was raising little ones??
Well friends..i am out. Until tomorrow goodnight and godbless~

Dog days Saturdays....

 

Here we have another Dog days Saturday...Last night we took the dogs to the beach and let them run free. My goodness I swear this is where they are most happy. Finley goes into a trance, and she only sees the water...this is when all other senses are lost. Poor girl..she forgets to listen, watch, smell, taste..seriously the only thing the girl wants to do is swim. She never sniffs around the beach, never chases after another dog or bird...she focuses on the water maybe a stick or ball...and she expects you to play catch the whole time you are there. She avoids everything else the beach has to offer. Unfortunately for her she has arthritis and after an hour or so of running in and out of the water that poor girl is so sore. We have pain meds for her but she still wimpers and complains later in the night after she's been to the beach. Last night was beautiful, the beach was so peaceful and calm..it was just nice to take it all in...

 

Look at her!! Isn't she a beauty! This girl absolutely loves the beach and I love taking her. She would live in water if we let her. This tends to be her favorite pass time, fetching a stick thrown by her favorite guy ever...daddy!!

 

 

 

I would love to get this collar for Ollie, its a bit expensive so I won't be ordering it anytime soon. Couldn't you totally see my little boy in this? He loves the beach..but tends to stay on the sand, he doesn't quite like the water. Regardless my baby boy would look so handsome~

 

Fashion Fridays....Cottage living~

I've been spending alot of time at the cottage this past week, so I thought I would upload some comfy cozy cottage clothes. Below is a cute sweater, and comfy hat

that I know would be so nice when the weather turns chilly.

 Love this hat..

The below drink is something that i would like to try at the cottage for a girls weekend~

 Look at this amazing idea..love this!! If i had a different style cottage I would definately do something like this in a mud room or back door, great idea!

Well my friends, I am off for the nights. Hope everyone is having a nice weekend, until tomorrow good night and god bless~

Thursdays chats and Ramblings..

At the cottage with some very close family friends, enjoying my god daughter. Not really wanting to waste my time blogging so I will leave you with this. I do love the quote but think I could find a better one, I might make something like this for Kailey's bedroom at the cottage. Something with a really cute quote for a young lady's bedroom~

Good night my friends and god bless

 

Instantly Wednesday

Today was a great day! I have my god daughter at the cottage and today we spent the afternoon at the beach. I thought I would share a Instagram picture I snapped of her. What a beauty! 

Tuesdays Talk...Special needs moms push away sadness, to focus on the hope of our speical needs childs future.

This is true...we tend to push away our own saddness, pain and sorrows and focus on the hope for our child's future. Being the mother of a special needs child/young adult and the mother of a fully able bodied, "special" in her own way..clear of any "society labels", I would have to admit I have always worried more for my son's future.
With that said, there are mothers and fathers out there that could argue me saying..``we all worry about our childrends future`s`, and I would say to you "of course you do"!!
But, and its a BIG but..when you are a mother/father of a child with special needs....there are always mountains bigger than hope...to move~
Most of you who do not have parent a child with special needs will not understand..nor do we want you too know how much saddness we carry. NOT meaning saddness for our child...saddness for ourselves..or even saddness of our life situations. WE are sad for society, sad for those who live their lives on the fast pace..missing out on the small things in life. We sit silently, listening and watching people get so caught up with what they have, shining their cars, counting their dollar bills..that my friends is sad. Us parents..we get it, we know whats important and if there is anything I can give thanks for during this journey it would be for that.
The pain part of parenting a child with special needs is the hardest part of being a parent. Most of these kids suffer with pain, through medical invasive procedures, social pain of people not understanding their individual needs, emotional pain, mental pain and physical pain of just having aches in their bones and muscles. One of  the hardest pain was the school board...everyone close to me knows the stuggles we had through that. I wouldn't be able to go into detail with one post around the amount of physical pain my son has endured over the years...so we will leave that alone.
 Now that my son is grown, and has successfully completed a college program...i look back and am overwhelmed with the sleepless nights, tearful sleeps, screaming matches with myself and sheer feeling of losing. Having to look at my son, and knowing I had two choices..to give up the fight we were fighting OR  push away my own sadness and think of his future..so we choose to fight...and fight we did. Non-stop.
Now I don't want you to go away from this post thinking all us special needs parents are walking around sad or in pain all the time..LOL..cause to be honest we are pretty much the happiest parents in the world. The reason being simple...it is the special children with all their limitatioins that show us its not them who we need to mould into our society, its society who needs to learn how to mould inorder for them to achieve their highest potential. In my heart of hearts...i believe we have it all figured out, we have peace in our lives, not outside peace...I mean the stuff on the inside. The life that lives in our soul..the life, that when threatened by an outside source only makes us stronger. IT's a fight that not many possess, its the fight that allows us to push away saddness, to focus on the hope of our childs future. 

Happy Canada Day!!!

 

Wishing all my friends and family a wonderful Canada's day!!

 

 

Sorry I missed 2 days last week, I may get the chance to make it up to you and post a couple extra posts. Lets see how I do these next few days. Mondays menu is cancelled today, sorry about the too...i am recovering from my weekend away at the cottage with friends. It was a wonderful weekend and thank god the rain stopped and it dried up nicely. Couldn't have been any better..perfect weekend. Well i am out. good night and god bless~