Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

I think the number one compliment that I recieve is probably my/our ability to parent a special needs child. I seem to have a positive outlook on how I feel regarding the "rights" of those effected by a disability. I have not been perfect, and I have made some mistakes with making decisions regarding our son. However, when I am passionate and believe in something...nothing gets in my way to make it happen. I don't have all the answers nor do I think that I know everything...I do however believe in human rights and I may have a different idea of how to raise physically challenged children in our community. Maybe its because my son was born healthy, able bodied and perfect...don't get me wrong he is still perfect, but he is no longer able bodied. The day he was born a whole bunch of ideas ran through my mind about who Braden was going to be. He was going to be a hockey player, he would ride a bike, he would date and he would someday be valadictorian. After he was injured and our world was turned upside down... I promised him that all those things I new he would be, he would still be! Come hell or high water I would fight till the death for my son to accomplish what he was born to do and nothing would get in his way while doing so. It was our job to be sure he always had the best quality of life, why should any of our dreams for him have to change just because he could no longer walk? Maybe it was a bit of denial, maybe guilt....regardless of what it was, his opportunities in life were not going to change just because he was physically challenged. I have been offered many opportunities to help and advocate families of children with disabilities! I have always been available to parents and I love to encourage and inspire those who are new to this lifestyle.

With that attitude...not much was getting by me!
I have been asked numerously to speak to families, mothers, fathers and even community agencies so that I can express our thoughts and beleives

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Well there has been a couple that I have needed to let go of! One for sure was a girl that I met through one of Paul's work friends. Things started out normal with our friendship, I very much enjoyed her company and friendship. As time went on however things became a little crazy! She started calling me ALL the time...you might think "ooh big deal" but let me tell you..I Have NEVER been available to chat with anyone for an extended amount of time! Do you have any idea what its like to be a care provider to a child with extreme physical needs? Seriously...never did I get a chance to sit and chat on a phone..still today, I don't "talk" on the phone! Actually just as I sat down to write this blog my boy came out to ask me to do something "personal" for him...NO TIME friends when i'm on the clock!
So, this friend just couldn't seem to understand that she doesn't come first in my life...and I honestly beleive she struggled with that! She was a single white female, living independantly working in a home for mentally disabled women. All she had to worry about in her life was what she was going to make for dinner! We had different lives and different expectations for this friendship...it was eventually going to end!
Secondly, she started to keep track of what I was doing...who I was with, where I was going..etc etc. I felt like I needed to justify my actions to her! What grabbed my attention and ultimately ended our friendship was when she question why I was seeing another friend (who happens to live 20 mins from me and IS my best friend) and not her! I remember the scenerio clearly...I was in my 3 semester of school and having to work in a co-op placement full time as well as take care of my family. We were so stressed in school...and my mom had realized that I needed a night out! My mom organized a movie night with me, her and my best friend, and after that night I was asked to go to a fundraiser to help a classmate raise money for sick kids hospital as her younger brother had just passed away. This fundraiser was about an hour away from my town, and I had to get up the next morning at 5:30am to start work/co-op for 6:30 am at the hospital. Even though I new I would be exhausted, it was important for me to support that friend. I headed out that night and sadly could only stay for 2 hours...but I made sure I supported the event.
Well apparently this friend was keeping track of my news feed on facebook and was apparently upset that I have been spending time with others and not her!
Anyone who knows me, knows this would have sent me into a frenzy! I will not EVER justify myself to anyone...no one is my keeper! It didn't take me long to send her an email telling her how disappointed I was in her and I didn't appreciate her questioning my social life. Just for the record though...my mom was concerned about my mental state because of school, tests, co-op and keeping things afloat at home. So, she insisted that I go out to a movie with her and Candy..it was "me" time, otherwise I probably wouldn't have gone out with anyone! She then re-questioned me and argued with me about not being honest about seeing other friends....OH BOY!!
DELETE! that is exactly what I did to her on facebook, email and cell phione! Ok this was not the only reason why I let her go, there were many other reason's that I started to notice and didn't appreciate. I never felt bad about my decision and actually had some releif when she was gone! It was one less thing I had to worry about in my life!
There have been a couple others who I have let go...not as dramatically, I would have to say that was the worse!

Day 09→ Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Oh my goodness...I missed this one! Forgot to post it, so here is number 9!

Sadly there has been more than one....
We have had many people come in and out of our lives throughout the years and some of them i have actually cried over losing.
There have been 2 significant ones who I can think of off the top of my head. One was a friend that I met during my first years in college. Back in 1992, I made a great friend Amy...she was a keeper! I just adored her! We kept in touch through my marriage, birth of my son and even my car accident. Unfortunatly when her life turned a corner and she met a man who later became her husband....I struggled with depression. I did visit with her when her first child was born, and then we met up again later after her second child was born. We were at different stages in life, and I was extremely busy raising a child with special needs. She was extremely busy trying to run a household, and bringing in an income to help maintain their home. She just slipped away...it is something that I regret more than anything. She was a great friend, she stood beside me during a very difficult time in my life. Unfortunately I let her go...I was just trying to survive, I was a very sad person and felt I had nothing to offer her. I think deep down I had some jealousy issues because she had two beautiful healthy young children and I was fighting to keep my son alive, in and out of hospitals...it was a bad time for me! I will find her...and I will apologize for not being a better friend to her, and for letting her go!
Another person who I let go of is a male friend who at one time meant the world to me. He was another person who I regret letting go of. I think the reason he is gone is more circumstantial...we have different lives, different friends and I think we both struggled with how we fit into eachothers lives. I miss him, he always made me laugh and was a wondeful asset to my family. Maybe someday we will reconnect...until then I wish him nothing but happiness!
Those are the two off the top of my head who i've let go...there have been numerous doctors, nurses, therapists...families..etc etc.,
But I do believe that people come into our lives for certain reason's, some come and go and others stay! Thankfully the ones who have stayed are the one's I want beside me!!

Post 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Well there has been a few people through the years that have made my life a living hell...but as i've grown and matured i've come to realize that people will only treat badly if we allow them too. I don't really allow them too anymore!
Again I will have to say that these individuals have only popped up in moments of my life...some stand out more strongly than others. From my previous post you might recall the "bully" that I had back in junior high...that bitch stole a few good years from me!
I have had a few run in's with people over the years regarding things with Braden. Probably the absolute worse person that made my life(at the time) a living hell was a principle at my son's middle school. He was a PRICK! Oh my god...i hated him!! He was arrogant, ignorant and I truly believe a "women" hater! He was so rude to me...he hated me as well and I was totally ok with that...it was mutual! I use to do everything I could to just piss him off...I was just as ignorant back to him, every chance that I got! For 1 year I had to put up with him, thankfully a wonderful man came to the rescue and managed to get my son out of that school and placed him where he belonged. Braden was not allowed to go to the junior highschool in our neighborhood because the school was not accessible. We fought that school board for a year, verbal fights and accusations with principles, special ed teachers and even the schoolboard trustee. Eventually we won, and Braden was removed from that school and placed where he belonged with his friends.
This principle use to look down on me as I walked passed him in the hallway and arrogantly tell me "your not allowed in the school" or "Mrs.Martz we don't allow parents in the school". I would smile and say "sorry, I'm walking Braden to his class, what are you going to do?" He NEVER said hello to me, or kindly asked how we were, he never asked if Braden was happy or is there anything he needed? OMG..he was the worse.
I can't really say forsure that there was only one person who made my life a living hell but I will say the schoolboard did a good job almost destroying me, my marriage and my life! We fought and we won! HA. Oh and don't let me get started on some of the medical professionals that have made my life a living hell! There hasn't been many, but I do have stories that would make your skin crawl. Have a good night friends!! *Wink*

Day 7~Someone who has made your life worth living for.

There is not just one person who has made my life worth living! I will have to say my whole family has made my live worth living!!
It would be unfair to pick just one as we are a unit and each of them are equally important and inspiring to me. Each have their own role in my life, and all of them fit perfectly in my world and share their own special and unique qualities that make me want to live and love life daily. Their roles have changed through the years...I use to only be able to rely on Paul or my parents for emotional healing, but as Kailey gets older I find myself slowly and cautiously drawing to her. I mean she's still only 14 going on 30...but as she matures into a beautiful young women, I am loving who she is becoming as a person and I admire the qualities she has inherited. I don't want anyone to think that everytime I have a down day I run to my teenage daughter for support, because thats not the case. What I do get from her is usually a very realistic response, she listens (age appropritate topics) and she respects my thoughts and feelings. She is still to young to take on a role in my life as a "support"er, and I will NEVER put my "problems" or concerns on her..even as a grown up, will I do that to her! But, it is wonderful to know that we are on our way to a mother/daughter relationship that is growing and blossoming into something special...kinda like me and my mom!! That alone gives me reason to live!!
Paul has always remained my rock and constant form, even if he is just there! I was worked up one day last week and was feeling a bit out of sorts and frustrated, kinda lonely. He came home and just him sitting beside me on the couch after working all day..leaning in to kiss my ever so "unhappy" face made me remember that I am NOT alone in this, he is here with me!
I love to see him smile, I love that he makes me laugh...even when I try not too! I want to see him happy, I want to see him rest, play and enjoy the things we have together in our lives...I love that he kisses me goodbye every morning and then kisses me everynight before we sleep, we have been doing this for 18 years, and I still LOVE that its him! Thats worth living for!
Braden and I right now in life are struggling with our relationship. He seems to be "fighting" against everything I feel is of importance! His role is shifting in this family as is my role! We are trying to find how we fit into eachothers lives...I have always been his caregiver, nurse, therapist, nutritionist..etc etc, I am slowly learning to just be his mom!! Its tough when you've been in charge of so much and it gradually changes and you have no control over that! We are trying to figure it out, I am slowly backing off...my opinions are not as important to him, he is finding his own voice. I am proud of him...it means we did our job right! I would be more concerned if he didn't have an interest in living his own life, his way! I would be incrediably miserable if he relied on me for everything, and was insecure with himself and refusing help from others. Without him in my life, I would not have learned as much about happiness as i have today. I think its virtually impossible to pick just one person who has made my life worth living..because at different times in my life, its been different people!

Day 6~Something you hope you never have to do.

FIGHT CANCER! This question is probably the easiest one so far to answer. One of my biggest fears is being diagnosed with cancer. There are many people out there who fight and successfully beat cancer...and all I can say to them is "WAY TO GO"! I am amazed by those who take on something so feirce with strong determination and a will to never give up! I can relate to the internal strength you gain while undergoing the trials and tribulations of something so powerful, I admire those who continue to smile and battle through their long gruelling treatments. My own father battled bowel cancer and is a survivor for 13 years, he is a changed man because of this...a changed man for the better really. He's softer, calmer and more thankful, it was a terrible time for our family but we drew our swords, arms reached out and saddled up to win this crusade.
To all my friends and family who have struggled through a diagnosis of Cancer...you are my hero's! You are strong, and I pray that you can still see the beauty in your life. I hope that the poison which once flowed through your body did NOT over take your heart and corrupt your faith.
If you are reading my blog and fighting cancer today....my mother said to me a very long time ago when I was in a really dark place..
"Where there is life...there is hope"
This statement is what pulled me through my darkest moments...fight my friends..FIGHT!!

Day 5~Something you hope to do in your life.

Write a book! Thats plan and simple, its something that I have wanted to do for a very long time! I have started the process...its just going to take such a long time. There are so many angles of writing this book. I want to write about my accident, my feelings and my journey. I want to write about my son's strength and determination and his will to survive. I want to write about our daily struggles in this world built for the able bodied. I have so much to say about raising a child with a disability. I want to give parents hope, and words of encouragement. I have fought many battles and I want others to hear them so they can learn from them. I want to share my opinions about this world we live in and how difficult it can be for those with disabilities.
One more thing that I hope to do in this life time is to travel to Ireland. I would love nothing more that my hubby and I going to Ireland, touring the land and enjoying everything Ireland has to offer! Here's to dreams and desire's!!!

Would LOVE to renew my vows here someday!!

Day 4~Something you have to forgive someone for.

I am not a grudge holder...and honestly can't think of something that I have to forgive someone for. I guess the closest thing that I can come to is an aunt of mine who we as a family haven't spoken to in years. She is my mother's oldest sister who lives an almighty "Catholic" lifestyle and just happens to think her shit doesn't stink.
Maybe I am way off track here...but considering I have never gotten an explanation for her or her families behaviour I will come to my own conclusions.
The forgiving part is based on her lack of involvement in our lives...especially during and after my car accident. I mean typically a good christian family will let all ill feelings go and forgive and forget (again not sure why she is angry with us in the first place) in order to help a family in crisis. NOPE not them!! I think through all those years of struggling with a "new" lifestyle with a special needs, medically fragile child she called me..ummmm...once?! I do know that she said something horrible about my situation after my son was paralyzed. I am not going to share that...I am sorry! I wanted to be as open as possible but I don't want my son to read this and hear what she said. Lets just say its literally the worse comment I have EVER heard, and I will never forgive her for this! EVER!!
This lady is my mom's sister,who my mom speaks very highly of. My mom is thankful for her sister and has always wanted to make amends. Unfortunately for my aunt..she is NOT receptive. Too bad for her...we are a pretty awesome family who loves to share our awesomeness with others!! LOL..
Seriously the lack of their involvement is clearly their loss, I just feel bad that she is getting older and my mom never had the chance to discuss things with her. My mom deserves that, she is a wonderful person who is so loving and kind hearted! Her sister should have learned from her!!

Day 3~ Something you have to forgive yourself for.

For being mean to friends when I was a child. Yep I have to admit this and its so hard to do but I was a bit of a bully. Sad isn't it??! I was not always a good friend when I was in grade school, I was bossy, pushy, intimidating..I WAS A CHUMP!!
I look back at those days and wonder why these friends are still in my life? Seriously..I was aweful! It only lasted a couple years...it started in grade 4 and went till about grade 6. Once I hit middle high school, things changed...tables turned and I became the victim, I was the one being bullied. Its amazing how they say what goes around, comes around...because for me, it sure did! I deserved every bit of it, I was a target because I was small and insecure. I wanted to be cool and fit in but that came with a price. Eventually I fought my way out of the being the victim...literally fist faught my bully in order to gain freedom. One summer she showed up at my house to fight...I reluctently went outside and put my "duke's" up and we hashed it out on the front lawn of my house. My dad looked on cheering me for me...my mom round the corner in her car, pulled over and stopped the fight. She yelled at the other girl to go home and told me to get into the house. My dad told her it wasn't my fault, but then he got into trouble for allowing this behaviour. I didnt really get into trouble and when we returned to school I was no longer her "friend" and I went about my own business as she did too. It changed me though, my bullying days were over for good! I became a better friend, I searched for my place in this world. I made new friends, luckily I still had my old ones.
I like to think that those negative qualities that I sported back in the day have someone helped shape who I am? Realistically it must have, I am a very passionate person, my heart breaks easily and I am extremely compassionate too. Being a former bully/bully target definately made me see how it effects others, know I am the go to person...I listen, and I can empathize on both sides.
With all that said...I do regret that I was mean to my friends, I was just a lost little girl with ALOT of insecurities. We all laugh about it now as grown ups...but deep down it still bothers me! That is certainly who I am not today...and to think of me being that kind of person makes me want to puke! I am sorry friends..I was a mean girl!!
Like I mentioned though...what goes around comes around and I certainly got what was coming to me!

Something you love about yourself...

There are many things that I love about myself. Deep deep down inside my soul I have a thirst for life and thats what I LOVE the most about me! I believe when people live through traumatic accidents or catastrophic events it changes who they are. Its difficult sometimes when I think about who I am or how did I end up sitting here in a 3600 sq foot home with 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and another one in the works, Ipods, Ipad, large TV's, a pool, hot tub, yearly vacations, media room, my own black rabbit Volkswagon, a real Tiffany Bracelet, and so much more.
Ya sounds like ALOT...and I am thankful every day to have all those things!
What I love most about myself is that NONE of it matters to me!! All these things do not even almost signify who I am or what I'm about, and I know that...and I LOVE that about me!
I have been fortunate through a devastating accident to find how important it is to find happiness and peacefulness in the little things in life. I TRUELY take nothing for granted. I take advantage of every single day and make the most of it. I love early mornings, I love birds chirping, I love rain and I stop to smell the flowers. I love the smell of freshly brewed coffee, I love steeped tea, I love white wine, I love lunch dates, I always stop to admire a rainbow.


I love to seek cloud creatures,
I love to daydream, I love music, I dance everyday, I sing as loud as I can in my kitchen. I love to read and I love movie night with family. I love to watch you smile, I LOVE to laugh, I laugh at everything...i've probably laughed at you!! I love passionately, I stop to feel the rain on a really hot day,


I love the feel of sand on my feet, I love to listen to the sound of the ocean. I love the night sky, I am mesmerized by the winter night sky,


I LOVE to learn. Stars are beautiful and I look at them every night before bed as I let the dogs out for their last pee..its my moment to thank god for giving me this day!
There's something wonderful about surviving...its about being thankful, its about seeing everything and everyone around you, its realizing to LOVE deeply as it can all change in a moment.
I LOVE that I am a person who loves life and has found simplicity....I see this world everyday like its the first time, its not easy...its a choice!
Thats exactly my point friends...Happiness is a choice, I choose to stand in the rain and for a moment close my eyes and give thanks. I choose to listen to the sounds around me and look at whats surrounding my world. If there is something that I can say about something that I love about me....Its simple..I choose to see what others may not, and that is a blessing!!


Ok, I KNOW there are people reading this who are thinking OH MY GOD Chrissy!! Seriously? I Know some of you are thinking...how short tempered I can be, how quick I am to rip a strip off of someone who tries to tell me something that I may not agree with. You know what?? Your right, I am all those things too...Unfortunately the downfall of surviving a traumatic accident is living with some side angled anger. Yes, you may know that side of me, but i'm telling you my friends if you were unaware of my "softer" more relaxed side, the side of me that allows me to get out of bed every morning, the side that helps me take on the challenges of the day....then I guess sadly you really don't know me at all!

Something that I hate about myself??

Well Hate is a REALLY strong word...I don't want to say that I hate anything about myself BUT what I do hate is what i've done TO myself. Obviously there are many things that I dislike physically about me, one thing for sure is the extra 25 pounds I gained shortly after starting school five years ago. Going back to the thing that i've "done" to myself is something that I didn't really realize until about 2 years ago. I will admit that I haven't been fair to myself and if there is one thing that I "hate" it would have to be that I haven't allowed myself to forgive. I hate that I have taken many years from my life living with guilt and lots of heart aching pain. I hate that I did not allow myself at times to be "happy" I did not allow myself (at times) to be free, I lived in fear. Mostly afraid that something else in my life was going to go wrong. Everytime I felt excited or content I would remind myself of what had happened to my son and how it has effected my family. I lived this way for a very long time, if I allowed myself to laugh I would think how dare I smile when my son is not breathing on his own or will never walk again! I hate that I "crippled" my own life by NOT forgiving myself or by giving myself permission to feel happiness ever again. I took so many happy, wonderful moments that followed my car accident and refused to enjoy them only because I wanted to punish myself...I hate that I did that!
I faked so many smiles, I look back at certain pictures throughout the years and look at my face and I remember what I was really thinking through that fake smile and sparkling eyes.
Thankfully my outlook today is a much better one! It's NOT perfect, and I still find myself at times wanting to go there and punish myself. I have a better handle on it all today...and in those moments where panic strikes or my heart begins to break, I think of who my son has become and how proud I am of him. I think about my family...I think about my daughter and how she deserves to have a "happy" mom. It doesn't take as long overcoming moments of sadness...I absolutely LOVE who we have become, me,Braden,Paul,Kailey and my whole family and like i've said before... going through all the bad...has made us who we are! Why would I want to change that?

30 Days Of Truth...

Ok here is something that I am going to try! Lets see how honest I can get...its going to be difficult but I am certainly going to do my best! Here in blog world there are quite a few bloggers doing this challenge...so I thought i'd try too! I am a bit concerned that I won't blog everyday for 30 days, but i will give it my best!! Before I start however I wanted to share with you how I kept my last get together on a great budget. Normally when I host a party I ALWAYS manage to have way to much food, I have at least 3 different types of alcohol beverages..all prepared by recipes, nothing out of a bottle, except for wine! When I threw this little Arbonne party there was about 8 ladies including myself. It was on a Thursday, which ruled out a late night and lots of giggling, laughing, silly wine tingled ladies. Ok, well maybe there was a little of those things..but nothing over done!! Too many of us had to get kids to school the next day and most had to be at work themselves. Regardless..it was lovely and I really wanted to have nice, tasty treats to serve. I chose to stick to 3 appetizers, red and white wine, and one non-alcohol punch which by the way could be converted to alcoholic if perferred! On top of all that I did put out a small chocolate fondue served with fresh strawberries, pineapple, apples and melon...I melted a Toblerone bar which was just so fabulous.
So I just wanted to leave you with these easy recipes and maybe the next time you are having a few of your fav' girlies over you may want to try these easy peasy appetizers.
This is a Sangria Mock Tail Punch....however some of us added red wine to make it that much more interesting!! Fabulous!

What You Need
3 limes, divided
1 pouch (8 g) Crystal Light Raspberry Ice Low Calorie Drink Mix
4 cups low-calorie cranberry juice cocktail
1 cup orange juice
3 cups club soda 2 navel oranges, sliced
Make ItSQUEEZE juice from 1 lime. Add to large plastic or glass pitcher. Stir in drink mix, juice cocktail and orange juice until mix is dissolved.

ADD club soda; stir. Slice remaining limes; add to prepared drink along with the orange slices.

SERVE over ice.

Mini Shrimp Bites

what you need

16 Holiday Ritz Crackers - ya really...ritz crackers!! They were great too!
1/2 cup Philadelphia Cream Cheese Spread
1/3 cup cocktail sauce
16 medium frozen, cooked shrimp, thawed and cleaned 1/3 cup finely chopped green onions
Make itSPREAD 16 Holiday Ritz Crackers evenly with 1 tsp. Philadelphia Cream Cheese Spread.

TOP evenly with 1 tsp. cocktail sauce and 1 medium frozen, cooked shrimp thawed and cleaned. Sprinkle with chopped green onions.

Salsa Roll Ups...



What You Need125 g (1/2 of 250-g pkg.) Philadelphia Light Brick Cream Cheese Spread, softened
3 Tbsp. salsa
2 large spinach-flavoured tortillas
1/2 cup shredded Cracker Barrel Cheddar Cheese Light
1/2 tsp. chili powder
Make It
MIX cream cheese and salsa; spread onto tortillas.

TOP with shredded cheese and chili powder; roll up tightly.
CUT each roll-up into 9 slices


Epicure's Extraordinary Cheese Dip
Sorry friends...no photo, I didn't take one myself and I couldn't find one on line! Anyways, this dip is known as a crowd pleaser in any situation! I can never go wrong with it, people LOVE this dip!!

8 oz cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup each mayo and sour cream
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1 rounded tsp each 3 onion, lemon dilly, and Cheese, Chive, and Bacon dip mixes
1 round loaf of bread

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix all ingredients in a medium mixing bowl. Cut top off round loaf of bread. Cut out bread from inside the loaf, leaving 1" thick walls and bottom. Spoon dip into bread bowl. Replace top on bread bowl. Loosely wrap bread with tin foil and bake in oven for 20-30 minutes. Bread removed from inside loaf and the baked top can be served with bread bowl and dip

I did not take any photo's this evening and I kinda wish that I did...I also had a wonderful chocolate fondue, that was also another big hit!
Back to this 30 day challenge...I will start tomorrow and below are the question's that I shall answer the best that I can! Stay tuned...the first question is probably the easiest to answer!! *Wink*
Post 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Post 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Post 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Post 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Post 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Post 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Post 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Post 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Post 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Post 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Post 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Post 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Post 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Post 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Post 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Post 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Post 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Post 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Post 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Post 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Post 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Post 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Post 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Post 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Post 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Post 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Post 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Post 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Post 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Post 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Its gonna be a LONG 30 days!!

Cinderfella...

Tonight my boy had a role in his class production of Cinderfella. He took a drama course this term just to try something different. With his thoughts of going into film and media production he thought it would be cool to try some acting. He claims that he doesn't LOVE acting but he has had alot of fun helping with the production. He was also in charge of publicity for the play. I must say...they all did one hell of a job!! The actor's were soooo good...and quite funny too. They did a fabulous job, they were loud enough, they knew their lines, they had great facial expressions and the props were well done. It was a fun evening and there were alot of parents who showed up to watch this evening.
On a different note, I had a great conversation with a friend last night about how fast kids grow up. We were discussing the fact that Braden doesn't want to come on a family holiday this summer and how that impacts the shift in family roles. It's great that we are heading into a different stage of life, it is VERY hard for me to accept and I know its because I have been soooo hands on as a mom, especially with Braden. It's NOT that I don't want them to grow up, I am not delusional enough to think they should stay young forever and I am loving this time alone with Paul. We've worked very hard through the years to provide lots of family time with our kids. We have taken many many trips, we have had weekends away, we have done family nights, movie nights and we've even had days that we've called into school and work sick just to spend time together. It was my number one priority while the kids were little...LOTS of time together!! Even when Paul and I were not seeing eye to eye at points in our marriage (which happens to be 18 years on Sunday ~Happy Anniversary LOVER~) we still focused on spending time with our children. We ALWAYS put them first. We did manage to tend to eachother's needs as well...although I will admit that got better as we got older, we were so young back in the early 90's...21 years old is young too have a 1 year old son paralyzed from the neck down. After my accident we fully focused on giving our children the best quality of life possible, you know what?? WE DID!!
That's why its so distressing for me to not have Braden included in our family vacation. I know nothing different...its all I know, its all I live for! Do you get my drift? DO you see the shift in our family happening? I am thrilled to have this time in life with my husband, and to think we are still young enough to enjoy eachother...I mean we still have Kailey around for sometime, thank goodness! I LOVE the idea of having time with her alone on this holiday! She will be spoiled, get lots of attention (not that she suffer's from lack of attention) and LOTS of love!! Its like we are a "normal family", and I am happy {elated} about that! Paul and I have worked very hard over the years to teach Braden to be independant and self-efficient, learn to solve his own problems and how to survive on his own when the circumstances/environment is not "just so". I truly never thought I'd have the chance to leave my 17 year old son(almost 18) at home with a friend for a week....its mind blowing to me. I will admit, the thought of getting out of bed during our holidays, making a tea/coffee and sneaking out side to sit on the porch looking out at the ocean without any expectations is sounding pretty pleasing!! However...I know...my heart will be slightly broken with the one piece that will be missing during those two weeks :'(
While my heart breaks just a little, I know it will be worth it to see the smile from ear to ear on the boy who I love more that life itself!
Last weekend when I was at a girls night, one mom brought her 8 month old son. She was having a good time, but she was kept busy with the demands of the little one. I remembered back to those days...not often did I bring my babies to girls nights. I guess I spent enough time with them everyday that leaving them for an evening was ok with me! I always made sure that I had "me" time. Anyways while Colleen and I were "Goo Goo'ing " over this stunningly cute little baby boy...the mom smile's and asks us "Do you have children?" Colleen and I both answer "yes, but they are much older now", the young mom while holding her little one so lovingly and proudly smiles at us and asks "Do you miss it, having little ones?"....
For the first time EVER I answered honestly..."NO, I don't" HA.
I shocked myself...but I truly am happy in this new stage of life,and I couldn't even hide that!
Colleen answer honestly as well..although she didn't use words!! She just laughed!! ALOT!!
Well friends, I know that i've focused alot lately on the fact that my kids are growing up and blah blah blah...but its what's changing, and it's my blog, so i'll do what I want!! *Wink Wink*
Good night and god bless~

Oh the delimma...

Just a picture of my kids before Braden's prom. He looked so handsome and his girlfriend looked beautiful we were proud parents! (The picture is of Braden and Kailey..not his girlfriend) They had a blast that night, first they went to dinner with their schoolmates and then headed to a backyard party in Ayr. Paul and I picked them up at 2am and both of them were of sound mind, not to much underage drinking for them. HA. It was nice to see them having a good time, and I was thrilled how grown up my boy has become. Who would have thought 15 years ago my little boy would be attending prom, prom parties AND with a girlfriend. Guess I should have known better...he is something special!
NOW for the dilemma..We have given up our fight with Braden regarding him coming to Nova Scotia with us this summer. He won. We can't fight with him any longer, if he wants to be mister independant...then let him.
Seriously, as much as I want to make him come with us...he wouldn't be happy. Starting tomorrow I will begin making the plans needed for him and his friend Spencer to stay here with out us being home. I know Shelley reads this (Spencer's mom) and I probably should have called her first...but i'm on a roll here and want to keep going. So, Shelley...its true. The boys will be here for one week with the supervision of one part time day nurse and one full time night nurse. The night nurse has actually been around for a long time and knows Braden quite well ...we trust her with his life!! LOL, I don't have the day time nurse yet?? But will start the process tomorrow. The second week...my mom and dad will be here full time and there will also be an evening nurse available for Braden.
I have a week before we leave to teach Spencer the ropes and go over a menu plan with them. I will have family members close at hand (literally they live around the corner) and a nurse on call at all times! Braden really wants this experience and we are ready to let him...its NOT easy but if it makes him happy, I have to respect that! I know this will be one hardest things that we ever do!
Ok, enough of that for now...I will keep you posted as the events unfold! Shelly if you need to chat, let me know and I will call you this time!



CAKE BALLS
Just some pictures of my latest creations...I am loving this cake ball fiasco! Its been so fun, and I'm getting a ton of wonderful comments!! Enjoy the photo's, i've been working hard!