Looking through the looking glass..

Last night, Paul and i were going through ALOT of old and new paper work, files and files of stuff. We have some stuff dated back to the beginning of our marriage which is 19  years ago. Bank statements, financial agreements, old work pay stubs..so much stuff. It was so fun going back and looking at our past, we had some good laughs.
One of the best things we came accross was some older phycological testing assessment papers that were from myself and/or with Paul. The great thing about this is it kinda of acts like a diary for around the events that took place with my recovering through Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Back when I was trying to survive through all the wonderful effects of this disorder..i did not keep notes. I had no time too, even though I was struggling in life and suffering from depression, grief, fear, anger and anxiety...I still had to get out of bed and take care of two kids, in which one was severly disabled.
My worry is however, I had difficulty reading these reports...I couldn't do it. I didn't want to look back, I didn't want to feel that pain all over again. The memories came flooding back, and that was just a small part of the report that I read.
I also found a ton of older reports from doctor's, therapists and psychologists that all had to pertain to Braden and his recovery. I have forgotten so much from that time in our lives. Its so great that I have these as they will be fantastic resourses in the making and writing of my book.

The thought of this book is so overwhelming..there's just so much information. It's going to be challenging trying to pick apart the important pieces or the parts that I feel are most instrumental. I had a lovely evening last weekend with some nursing friends and one of my teachers. They were asking me about my book and how things are going. We started to discuss the title and my teacher turns to me and said she doesn't believe the title does the book content any justice. LOL...So i'm trying to think of something new, maybe it will come to me while reading through these notes.
Either way, it will come to me...OR i'll keep my "Embrace Still"