Lets Talk Hard Work.

So many years of walking, he was so dedicated to Braden's recovery...thank you for that Paul~
 

I have been so blessed to be apart of some pretty amazing peoples lives. I have seen some rotten situations that some have pulled themselves out of. Strong people. Determined to change their lives, and make them better. When I say better...I mean down right, pick yourself up off the fuckin ground and straighten the bow on their head and move on.
There is a small handful of these people who have crossed in my life path, and still today I admire their strength and determination.
 My own struggles have been real, they have been difficult and I have continued to change my life accordingly. However my battles were a few years ago, thankfully my life has ironed out and we've been fairly stable for some time now. I am sure there will be many more things to overcome in my future, I will handle those like I did 20 years ago..like a boss~
Those whom I am speaking about today have been dealt some pretty shitty situations much out of their control.
Lost marriages, abuse, cheating, drugs, job loss, alcohol and illness all of which have inflicted and tortured many lives. It amazes me how some people can see the problem and take action, change the course of their lives. It takes a very strong person to do this.  Its much easier to ignore the obstacle and fall on your ass while waiting for others to pick you up. I've always wondered how people can deflect their problems on others and put expectations on those around them to clean up their mess.

I have also been blessed with an amazing husband, who has always worked very hard for his family. You see long ago when we had been released from the hospital and able to go back home, I had started to  receive an income from our insurance company. Before my accident I was working part time and going to school, but once Braden was injured I wanted to be home with him. I needed to be in charge of his care, health and rehabilitation. Back then, I wanted Paul home with me. I have mentioned before that I do hold some anger towards him because he didn't stay home with Braden and I at that time. I look back now and realize he was right to continue on in his career. When I had bad mornings, when he was still just a baby and reliant on a life sustaining machine, needing an NG tube for feedings....I never had the choice to be down. I suppose if Paul would have been home during those days, back then...I would have taken the time to cry, be angry, sad and very well may have spent days in bed. Feeling sorry for myself, not dealing with what had to be done and not carrying on as a mom. He was right, and I do see today that it was the right thing to do. ALTHOUGH.....I have had some VERY hard times and I have felt VERY alone, and sometimes I would call him crying, begging him to come home. Not often would he come home, I don't want to vilify him. He did what he had to do, and 20 years later we are all in a really good place. I'm not sure if I would be who I am today if he would have surrendered to all my desperate pleas and phone calls. Those crying moments, when I was begging him to come home and he couldn't....I had to hang up that phone, wipe my tears, breathe and move on. Straighten myself out, shoulders back...put a smile on my face and go tend to Braden. The moments passed, and I comforted myself. I know for sure, if he had come home every time I wanted him too...I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't have had the opportunity to soothe or comfort myself.
I believe my family is a warm group of hard working individuals. I am pretty proud of my children, they are determined and goal oriented. Not at all lazy, or dependant. I like to think its due to Paul and I, we haven't let them grow up with excuses. They know what they need to do to be successful, they can be dependable and follow through with expectations. Both are well educated, volunteers and working young adults. That didn't come easy and thanks to Paul's work ethic our children are aware of what it takes to be thriving in todays society.
I have to mention not only can I be thankful to my husband but also those who have crossed our paths. They have witnessed themselves the desire of friends and the will they have to change their lives. Some have gone back to school much later in life, they had to give up homes, jobs and many material objects. Each of them knowing its only temporary, that within time and patience the things they lost will come back again. You can't put a price on self respect, or self improvement. As challenging as it was for them to loose the things they cherished most, they put in perspective what was truly important in life. Its the same scenario in many families..One Step forward, two steps back. I have a small handful of friends whom have changed their lives, sacrificed the things that make them happy and comfortable. Due to their bravery over came the trials and tribulations.
I suppose my reasons for blogging about my experience with our choices regarding hard work and not taking the easy way out is just so you can understand what we had sacrificed. You see, as years went on we met more people living in our "world". Families torn by tragedy, forced to make decisions that will effect the course of their lives forever. Some did exactly what I wanted Paul to do, both parents stayed home. Gave up their jobs, lived off the income from the insurance companies. We very well could have done that and in the beginning its what I had wanted. But Paul refused, and thank god he did. I get it now....
We met families that ended up fighting over the money, families that ruined their lives and their child's by getting settlements and blowing it. Eventually sending their child or spouse to live in a group home. Sad sad stories, I think they took the easy way out. Eventually ending up in the worst possible of situations. We did good, we stayed true to our son and his needs. We also stayed true to eachother, always remembering who we are. We worked hard. Both of us, and for that I can relate to my friends.
They are happily now working in a chosen career path making money that is getting them back on their feet.
I adore their noble efforts to remove themselves from a situation that is causing them or their families stress. Working towards harmony, peace and a positive happy life. That's the beautiful thing about life, you can change it. Its not easy, it takes a lot of courage and devotion. But its do-able!

I don't want to leave this post with the feelings that Paul wasn't there emotionally for me throughout the years. He was there. He did the best he could. He is the hardest working man I know, by far the most committed to his family.

(When Paul and Braden use to go downstairs to do therapy, Kailey would stand at the gate and yell down at them. She had no idea what was going on down there, she really wanted to know. So this is Paul coming up the stairs with Braden after a work out, and Kailey waiting for them. I had to get a picture of this. Such great memories. I believe Braden went through a phase when he wore his bat man mask he was better at therapy. I think he was right!)

 

He loves his kids, and I know he loves me too. In fairness to Paul, during the past 20 years he did take a leave of absence twice both times for a year. The first year was when Braden was in Kindergarten, ( I think?) he was not in school fulltime, because Paul took the year off to rehabilitate him. He worked along side two of Bradens physiotherapists and everyday he and Braden would head downstairs to the "work out" room and do some play therapy. What kind of man does that? A self-less good man does. 

(Braden walking around the furniture, just ways we could get him to do therapy)

It must have been difficult for him to do, I am aware today of how hardworking he really is...how much his job means to him.
The second year he took time off to spend with ME! He actually took a temporary lay off...he volunteered to be laid off, because there was another guy going to be let go of. Paul had went to his boss and told him he would take the time off instead of his co-worker.
Even though he didn't always come home when I needed him...he made up for that. We had wonderful days spent together, so much time to reconnect and rekindle the magic between us. :)
Its amazing how everything can work out, it takes time and work but eventually things iron out.
To those friends who are in the midst of chaos and disorder, you keep working hard. Don't give up cause in time you will be reaping the benefits. Best of luck, so proud of each one of you~