Let's get something straight..

I don't mean this in a ignorant or arrogant way at all. I guess lately i've just found myself smiling for the sake of smiling. Don't get me wrong my friends...I am happy, I am not in anyway distressed, upset or angry.

I am just...

Does that explain anything?
Basically for the next little while, you're not going to get to much out of me...and the one thing that I detest is when people think there is something wrong because you may not be acting like yourself. Believe me friends...there is NOTHING wrong, everything is fine, I just feel BLAH!

We have a ton of shit going on right now that we need to get sorted out, I have been in alot of meetings lately and Kail has had ice time everyday so far this month with the exception of Thursday's.
I can't even say that the events that are happening in our lives is challenging, because they are not...they are just busy.
Back in the day...well exactly 16 years ago we were dealing with so many changes and challenges *lightly stated, but harshly felt*
Today I have to admit, we are there again...thankfully without the added health problems. But, we are dealing with so many changes...some good and exciting and some slightly frightening.
Rest assured my friends, no need to panic if you don't hear from me often or I don't respond in my familiar "happy tone" ways with added smilies and hugs and kisses, its not personal.

I remember being in this spot 16 years ago when Braden was released from the hospital and I had so many people coming in and out of my home, I couldn't keep track of every one. It was so overwhelming and I eventually hated everything about it. Man, I was a different person back then. Always making sure that my home was clean, Braden was clean and well dressed. I was always concerned that I was going to be judged on everything going on in my home!
Once again we are having sooo many people in and out of my home and guess what?? I don't care about those things any more!! LOL...seriously, my house was a mess..didn't matter to me. Things didn't start out to smooth either today...
Shopper's home health called to say that they were in my driveway and was asking where was I? They were dropping off a lift for Braden and then later today the OT was coming by to show us how to use it as we were trying it out in order to help decide if we would get one.
I wasn't aware of this...I had no idea they were coming today to drop off this lift! LOL, So the driver sounded a little annoyed that he had to come back to drop it off again...guess what?? Didn't care!! LOL, I had things to do this afternoon! So then the OT show's up later in the day.,..mind you..she was late *frustration here*
I was in the middle of getting dinner ready, Kailey was sick, Paul was going to be home shortly and needed dinner as he was heading back out to play squash and Braden was having a friend over. On a selfish note...I wanted to run this evening, I've been hittin the treadmill pretty hard lately and i'm really impressed with myself! Think I got my groove back!!
Needless to say...we needed to get our shit together. Typically I would have been on a rampage, my house was disgusting, dinner was half ready and Braden (not to embarrass him) was NOT in the mood to have an OT here..so he was pretty vocal about it, but that just gave me another issue to settle over boiling potatoes and cooked meatloaf. UGH!!
So the lady comes to the door, as everyone who know's me know's that there is always a vaccum cleaner hose in my front hallway, at least 4 pairs of boots, 2 pairs of running shoes and 1 pair of Uggs all lying in my front hallway. To top it off, there were shopping bags tossed down and wheelchair tire marks running from the front hallway right through to Braden's media room. I hadn't had time to clean his wheels when he came in afterschool and had run through all the wonderful freshly fallen snow..*sigh*
Guess what??? I didn't care!
But, I ALMOST lost it...yes there's a bit more!
Oliver (my teacup morkie) had not been outside for a pee in about 4 hours...once again, there was no time, I could blame Kailey for this as I did ask her to take them out...but I don't know the specifics so I won't bitch.
Regardless, Oliver is pretty happy to see this lady and decides to dribble his pee throughout my front hallway...the lady removes her coat and boots and then goes to step off the mat. That's when I see the puddle...the OT goes to step right in the pee *insert embarrassed face complete with fear* and I nearly knock her over to help her avoid a wet, pissed soaked sock...UGH!
She recovers gracefully...
My potatoes are boiling over, there is piss all over the floor, the phone rings, I'm trying to avert her around the wet wheelchair tracks...UGH! LOL..
Could this get any better?? Thankfully Braden is old enough to handle somethings on his own during these meetings...so I did take off to get my potatoes drained and mashed, just in time for Paul as he comes in the front door. Dinner was served successfully...lady finally leaves. Due to Kailey's illness she wasn't going to practice...sooo happily we all managed to sit at the dinner table together where I got wonderful compliments on a dinner well done!
Paul leaves to play squash.
Kailey resumes life back on the couch.
Braden's friend arrives, soaking wet from the rain.
I finally get to step on my treadmill and have an amazing run!
Sooo, my reason's for this blog is to share my feelings of being overwhelmed with many changes. There's alot going on, and I'm not going to apologize for that!
Just be patient friends, that's all I ask!!
Good night and god bless~