Friends...

It's funny how friendships change and alter over the course of a women's lifespan. We need friends throughout our lives for many reason's, in our teens we have them for entertainment and encouragement. In our college/university years we need them to party with us, experience independance and help us through choices related to relationships. In our young adulthood, we tend to need our friendships for support with becoming mothers, starting careers and entering marriages. In middle adult hood, which I like to believe we are entering within the next few years..we need our friends to listen.
I have come to that conclusion tonight when I met with a dear friends who is going through a difficult time. My heart breaks for her and her family, and as a women of almost 40 years old my concern for her is simple...HER! I think once we hit this stage in life where we have already dealt with most of the craps of life, we realize after all those years...we need to be strong, we need to take care of ourselves. We need to eat right, proper foods, exercise for our mental, physical and emotional well being and sleep when it is needed. This is where a good friend comes in!! I have no advise for her, I cannot fix the problems and I cannot protect her from the pain. But as her friend, I will hold her up when she wants to fall, I will build her up when she crumbles and I push her forward when she wants to stop. That is what I am here for, I am here to support her, encourage her and simply listen to her....that is what a friendship is at this stage in life.
Ok, I am not a fool to believe that once we reach our 40's the craps of life no longer exsist. I am well aware that we can be hit at anytime with something traumatic that changes our lives. I guess the difference in my opinion that once we hit 40 years old, we have the knowledge to keep the issue's in persepective and not let them become bigger than they need to be! I like that...this is why I am looking forward to 40, I have a reason to say "f**k it" more frequently! DOn't let the small stuff get to you, its not worth it!
Unfortuntely tonights glass of wine with a good friend demonstrated a dispiriting conversation, one in which I found myself struggling at times for words. The dialogue was not light, and in the midst of our evening chat I had to dig deep and find the right choice of words to comfort and encourage her to "take care of herself". This was all I had to offer, it is all I could do as a friend?!
I would do anything for a friend, if I could change this situation, make it better or take away the pain she is feeling..I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can't, this is stuff that she will fight through. I know that she can do this, she is one of the strongest women I know.
A couple weeks ago, my mom and I were talking and she had commented that "life is boring" right now. Nothing is going on, things are quiet. I totally agreed with her, these past couple years in our family have been fabulous. We have been blessed with comfort, serenity and love...its been boring!!
I did say to my mom however.."that I don't look at it as boring, I see it as a rest." Let's enjoy the quiet, boring years because it can all change so suddenly. It wasnt' too long ago, that a year after my car accident we were struggling with Braden's recovery and health, my dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer and I was going in for open heart surgery!! Yep all that in one year!!
For know, I will sit back and enjoy the boring!!!