Regret: To feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.)
: To think of with a sense of loss
Regret, its a terrible word isn't it. It is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. Although with that said, I am seasoned enough in life to know regret is what can sometimes change us even for the better. Life lessons, regrettable moments that can bring us to a place we didn't even know we wanted.
My mom has always told me do not leave this world with regrets. Don't grow old with pain in your heart. She's a wise woman that mom of mine.
I do not have many regrets. I have done well with my beliefs, values and faith. I haven't hurt anyone intentionally, I am giving, kind and speak my mind the best I can. I am still learning, but at least I am trying. Some people are just too closed minded, judgemental and unhappy to grow. I have made mistakes and yes I do have a few regrets. But nothing that I will effect me while I grow old.
Two regrets that I have are:
1. I have let some people into my life whom I shouldn't have,
2.and I have let some leave that I wish I hadn't.
I will live with those regrets, thankfully we have recovered from the ones I should have kept outside of my family. I have allowed some people to enter into my life, into my families life. People who I should have listened to my gut instinct. Now don't look too deeply into this, my children have never been affected by anyone whom I allowed in my home. Those who I should have kept at an arms length, who I let get too close, a few who found my weakness and tried to get in the parts of my life that doesn't belong to them. I am a very closed, protective mom, wife, daughter, aunt and sister...it takes a lot in order for me to trust you. I regret not listening to my instincts, and I was the one to get hurt. That's ok, I learned.
The ones who I should have held on too tightly I do believe if they are meant to be...our paths will cross again some day. *Fingers crossed*
If by chance they do not cross, then that is ok too.
One regret that I have its one that haunts me today....I am still angry with myself over this.
Back when Paul and I were just living together, we had our first apartment in Preston. Paul surprised me with a puppy. She was a girl, lab/sheppard cross and we called her Taya.
She was OUR first pet together. Shortly after Taya joined us, I got pregnant with Braden. Things moved along well, Taya was a great girl. She was present with the pregnancy, she kept me company while Paul worked. When I brought Braden home from the hospital Taya stayed close. She was gentle and loving towards Braden.
But, because we were young and both working on careers we didn't have the time Taya needed. Not too mention we were both fairly young with a new baby. She was a hyper girl who should have been with a family who had more time to walk her, run with her and train her. She eventually started to ruin our furniture. She tore apart our couch one day, then she got a piece of our love seat. It was so sad, Paul had worked so hard to purchase that furniture for us. We were so excited when we moved into our new home and had furniture that we owned, that we bought together.
Paul was furious, he ended up getting really angry with Taya and I noticed his behaviour towards her changed. I could tell he didn't want her anymore. He was right, we didn't have the life for her. It broke my heart.
My 45 year old self would have told my 20 year old me that I had no business getting a puppy at that stage in my life. We were not stable enough to have a puppy. Not too mention we were young, and planning too start a family. We had no training, no patience and no time. Do NOT get a puppy just because you feel you want one. Be sure you have all your ducks in a row.
We sent Taya off with a man who seemed very happy to be getting her. Again, we didn't look into where she was going. We asked questions, but we didn't look into her new home. I will forever regret that. The only thing I can be thankful for is we did get her spayed. So I know she wasn't used for breeding and we gave her the best start to life we could. I hurt for her, I wish we would have followed her life through. I loved her, I just wasn't ready for the commitment.
SO there it is. All my secrets and sorrows shared to the public. I am ashamed for what happened to Taya. I am sure you can imagine how much pain I feel with the love and commitment we have for our dogs today. I hope and pray you had a wonderful life, after you we didn't get another dog until we owned our own home. We had a backyard, 2 beautiful children and much more time and energy as well as resources we needed to be successful pet owners.
Well my lovelies, I hope you are all doing well. If anyone is thinking of getting a dog at a time in your life that you are not in a stable position, please don't do that too a dog. They are a life time commitment. They deserve to have one family, not to be given up on. Unless of course you can be certain your pup will be going to an amazing situation with people who will love, commit and provide for your family member. I am aware that situations change, I am not being judgemental to those who have sadly had to rehome their pets, my point is too really, really think about the circumstances of the bringing a new dog into your home. I did it once, and I will never do that again. EVER.
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