Grammy night baby!!!

Tonight we are watching the Grammy's. Ever since I was a little girl I have always been a huge fan of the grammys. I absolutely love the live performances, it is always so exciting.My favorite performance of the evening so far has been the black eyed peas, they have a way to make a crowd light up with enthusiasm.


Today was a wonderful day...we went to a babies christening in London. The service was very nice, but afterwards we went to a nostalgically attractive irish pub to visit with the beautiful baby and his family. We were served a great lunch in an atmosphere filled with new hope, new life and new young parents enjoying their day with family and friends. It really was the perfect day, their baby boy is adorably enchanting and it was a pleasure to have been a part of their special day! They are a fabulous family and we are blessed to be a part of their lives.

Out for a drink..

It's Saturday night, and there's not much going on! So, i think Paul and I are heading out to have a drink. Tomorrow we are off to a baby christening in London, I'm looking forward to seeing everyone. It is a family who are very close to our family, it's always nice to see them. Not sure where we will go for a drink, somewhere close to home, hopefully we won't be late. Paul wanted to ask another couple but then you are opted to stay longer and I am not sure how late I want to stay out. Next weekend is another busy one with a tournament in Guelph, the end of February brings the provincial tournament in Ottawa, so we will be spending 4 nights there. I am content to stick close to home this evening. Last night a good friend of mine asked me to go to a Pampered Chef party with her. I haven't been to one of those in a long time, i didn't need anything but decided to go out and mingle regardless. It was nice, I only really knew about 3 of the ladies. They were a nice group, it gave my friend and I some time to catch up and have a few laughs. I love when friends call and ask me to attend those types of events with them. Mostly because usually I don't know many of the guests especially if her friends are from a different social group. I am such a people watcher..I find myself entertained by just sitting back listening and watching the others chat, laugh and gossip. Overall it was a good evening, nothing much has changed with Pampered Chef and I have so much of it anyways. The snacks were good, the wine was good and the company was pleasant.

We're at crossroads...???

The last couple days we have been talking with Paul's work, yes they have called him back and have even offered him a position higher than when he was laid off. I guess the company is in quite a pickle and need more engineer's to return to work. You would think that we would be over the moon with excitement,thrilled to have our financial stability back into play, planning our next trip, finishing our home alot quicker, and even looking at new furniture. WOW, sounds so wonderful and relieving doesn't it?
Unfortunately, for us...NO! It is not all that intriguing. We have found ourselves living a more relaxed, suitable, calmer, better functioning lifestyle. As a couple we are achieving, accomplishing and operating this life in a much better fashion. We are managing to give Braden more opportunities, better therapy, more time and attention for homework, taking time for appointments and following through with the exceptions placed on us by the many professionals that are involved with our lives. Absolutely you could argue, does it really take 2 parents to do all of this? My answer is going to be naturally YES! If you want to do this job effectively and provide him with the best quality of life, then yes, it takes two. When he was little it was easier, but as he gets older it is harder for myself to transfer him onto tables in doctor offices, dentist chairs, therapy tables, treadmill training equipment..etc, etc..is it fair to expect an employer to allow Paul to leave his job at least 3 days a week to meet me so that he can help transfer or lift Braden out of his wheelchair? Not only is there those transfer's but many more in a day. Let's just take a clear look at the life we lead raising a young man with a C2 spinal cord injury..

Self-care skills: including activities of daily living (ADLs) Feeding, grooming, bathing, dressing, toileting

Physical care: Support of heart and lung function, nutritional needs, and skin care

Mobility skills: Walking, transfers, and self-propelling a wheelchair

Respiratory care: Ventilator care, if needed; breathing treatments and exercises to promote lung function, which he is to do 2x daily

Communication skills: Speech, writing, and alternative methods of communication

Socialization skills: Interacting with others at home and within the community

Vocational training: Work-related skills, obviously school and co-op programs

Pain and muscle spasticity: (increased muscle tone) management Medications and alternative methods of managing pain and spasticity including his botox injections starting this spring to relive spasticity and encourage more function in his legs.

Psychological counseling: Identifying problems and solutions for thinking, behavioral, and emotional issues

Family support: Assistance with adapting to lifestyle changes, financial concerns

Education: Patient and family education and training about SCI, home care needs, and adaptive techniques

Ok, so if you think that this is a far stretch from the truth, then you are obviously living a sheltered life. It does not come easy taking care, and providing a life of great quality for a person who deserves it just as much as you do. I guess, living this life we were given without choice has tired us. We have managed to successfully and happily fulfill all of those needs these past 15 years with passion, hope and fierce determination. However, today...we are tired. We are not giving up and will always be strong enough, determined enough, and proud enough to push through and continue to provide Braden with all the wonderful things this life can offer him. Our decisions are based on our limits, and as we get older and Braden mature's, priorities change. We feel stretched thin with all these things in our lives, and another concern is what we can offer to Kailey. She to deserves to have her life validated and we have the responsibility to provide her with our time, encouragement and support. She will not fall to the way side due to her parents being too busy, over-scheduled and over tired.
As Braden grows the demands are changing, they are not lessening...just changing! The therapy is becoming more important, he is no longer a toddler doing play therapy..he has focus and desires for his future and those things come with hard work. Listed below is a list of most of the professionals that he see's on a regular basis, please keep in mind that the professionals that help us order,choose and maintain his equipment is not a part of the list, on top of all these people we still have others that help with daily living..
The spinal cord injury rehabilitation team:
The spinal cord injury rehabilitation team revolves around the patient and family and helps set short-and long-term treatment goals for recovery. Many skilled professionals are part of the spinal cord injury rehabilitation team, including any/all of the following:
neurologist/neurosurgeon
•orthopaedist/orthopaedic surgeon
•physiatrist
•internists
•rehabilitation nurse
•social worker
•physical therapist
•occupational therapist
•speech/language pathologist
•psychologist/psychiatrist
•recreation therapist
•dietitian
•vocational counselor
•orthotist
•case manager
•respiratory therapist
Oh and let us not forget the numerous neurosurgeon's and orthopedic surgeon's we see, also the clinical nurse specialist and the community respiratory therapist.
I am sure that there are many more that I am missing, but that might give a hint to what our life consists of. I am sure most of you would wonder about the speech therapist, well lets keep in mind the computer programs that Braden uses at school and the voice activated software he needs as well..i guess that is the speech therapists job..he does have a condition which hinders his ability to use long sentences during conversations.
Paul and I are very aware that we have the option to bring in others to our home that can help out and allow Paul to return to work. It sounds like a great idea, except do these people look at Braden's health and welfare the same way we do? It is there job, and the experience that we have had over the years is that they do not provide the BEST care for him. Most of them have been wonderful and kind, and very giving, but are they capable of providing the best care he needs. My answer is going to be no they are not capable by my standards. He is my son and he does deserve his comfort needs to be meet above and beyond the capabilities of a personal support worker or even an RPN, besides..if we let go of one area in our life we find that things become overlooked, forgotten and mistaken.
Hopefully there will come a day when Braden will not need us full-time, it would be great to say that might be a definite outcome, but realistically we won't know until the time comes. Knowing Braden's independent personality he will do is best to have a successful career which hopefully he will provide for his own family someday..the thing is though he needs to get there somehow and that is our responsibility.
So, we are at crossroads..what do we do? I don't want to make any significant mistakes that will alter our happiness for the future. In time we both hope to work part time and manage daily living successfully. These next few years are going to be busy getting Braden through highschool, setting him up in college..he will need our support..it going to be trail and error for a bit. We will learn as we go..but for now we will do what we feel is best, in our heart and mind. So as it stands Paul will remain here at home, until they can provide him with a part time position. If that never happens...then look out The Home Depot..hear comes Paul!!
For those of you reading my blog who are not familiar with me and my family, please know that if Paul does not return to his full time postition then financially we will still be fine, just challenged differently.

Valentine's day is fast approaching!!

Ok, so I am jumping the gun a little with writing about Valentine's day! I was just searching ideas for valentine gifts...mostly for teenagers! We as a family do not spend alot of money on material gifts for valentines day. When the kids were little I would decorate their bedroom doors with hearts, send them a heart shaped sandwich to school, send chocolate kisses, bake special heart-shaped cupcakes and of course with out fail a lovely letter or card expressing how much we loved them. As they get older I find it harder to articulate how much I love them..plus I want to do it with a personal touch. I did come up with some ideas, maybe a coupon book with fun things in it, like going shopping, trip to the zoo, afternoon picnic, special dinner night...there are a ton of ideas. I love the idea posted above with candy jars..my kids would love those, and they could be personal too..filled with their favorite candies.
As a family we have a few times cooked a particular dinner with all of us involved, we had given the kids certain jobs so they could help out! It was fun, we had wine, and the kids joined us with wine glasses filled with sprite. We had appetizers, lobster tail, garlic shrimp and dessert. Naturally we had romantic music playing the background, it was one of my favorite Valentine day's. I am not a huge fan of going out on Valentine's night for a dinner, especially if it's during the week. It just gets too busy and then you feel like the restaurant needs your table for the young couple eagerly waiting at the bar. Don't get me wrong, Paul and I went to the Golden Kiwi last year and it was wonderful. When the kids were really little I wanted to get out of the house, so going out to dinner was a great idea for valentines day. But, once they became school age it just became more difficult to get out the door in time for the reservations and sometimes there would be a phone call during the meal because someone wouldn't stop playing their music so loud, or they couldn't agree on a t.v. program. Today however, not having as much quality family time as I would like we have decided to stay at home with the kids and cook great, adventurous meals that are different and fun. Paul and I get out alone way more now that the kids are teenagers, so going out for dinner is not as exciting as it use to be...we can do that anytime. So, this year once again I think we will discuss as a family what we would like to cook, jump in and get our hands dirty and prepare a splendid dinner for 4. Not only do we have family time, a great dinner, and some romance on the side.....but we are teaching our kids the importance of romance..making your partner happy and doing nice things for them, and the beautiful part is not spending too much money! Valentines day is about spending time with loved ones and showing them how much they mean to you. Stick to simple, creative plans and this year can be one to remember.

These are just some of the many homemade Valentine's Day gifts that you can make for your guy or girl. They will be much more meaningful then a box of chocolate from Hallmark. Take these as inspiration and try to come up with your own ideas to share with the rest of us!

Read more at Suite101: Homemade Valentine's Day Gifts from the Heart: Unique Gift Ideas for a Romantic February 14th http://dating.suite101.com/article.cfm/homemeade_valentines_day_gifts_from_the_heart#ixzz0dvdSChj1

Deep winter cold...

Boy was today cold! The sun was wonderful and if you closed your eyes and sat still long enough the sun could actually leave you with a sunkiss on your cheek. It did feel so good, for a short minute I could forget about the cold seeping through my winter coat and focus on the warm, embracing sunshine. I think everyone should take time and go outside to soak up that sunshine and vitamin C, it helps with that seasonal depression disorder that so many people suffer from. I even took it a little further and started surfing the net for the upcoming spring and summer clothing lines. I did find the cutest outfit, see below:

I am totally into that look and I am know occupied to find this cute summer outfit. I know there is still a few months of winter and cold weather, but it doesn't hurt to start looking into the spring thaw..the sun is promising and I see a new season emerging soon!

Sedentary lifestyle...

Sedentary lifestlye: is a medical term used to denote a lifestyle with a lack of physical exercise. Today was a day that I really hadn't expected, but things turned out regardless. I had decided that this morning I would get up, have a run, bake some banana bread, do some laundry then get groceries. I was mistaken, when Braden had came out for breakfast he reminded me that I was going to let him stay home for the morning so he could study for his exam tomorrow. I of course was going to help him do this and devote my time to him. There went my wonderful plans for the day, I am not going to deny that I was upset that I wasn't going to get to run. I so needed a good run, yesterday I missed running and going to the gym because I had to clean the house and have it ready for a meeting with our rehab consultant. I had to clean 3 bathrooms..which did take most of my morning hours. So, off I went and set Braden up in the kitchen and we studied together for 3 hours. During this time my back was paining, and all I could hear was my treadmill downstairs screaming for me to run. It yelled up those stairs reminding me that a good run always alleviates any discomfort that I am having due to back pain.
Once I was done with Braden I had made a decision to go downstairs and pound the hell out of my treadmill, I put on my running shoes and burned rubber! As I predicted my backpain was erased. I felt fabulous, not only because I no longer was in pain but because I followed through with a goal.I pushed myself into doing something that I clearly didn't feel like doing, but knew I would benefit greatly if I did.
Being a nurse I have seen tragic life situations that people find themselves in because they choose to live a sedentary lifestyle. There is resent research that shows that a sedentary lifestlye causes more deaths than even smoking. Basically being a couch potatoe can kill you! After seeing so many middle aged/older age people become diagnosed with heart disease, diabetes, respiratory ailments and cancer I immediately educated my family in hopes that they will continue to live a healthy, active life. Luckily both my parents are gym members and work out regularly, they eat healthy and visit the doctor every 6 months. I am so pleased that they take their health seriously and put it high on their priority list, I am grateful for that because it means they want to be here for a long time! My dad has always been a gym member...for years and if I remember correctly he joined with hopes to release back pain as well. My mom shortly followed suit and is more active today then she has ever been. I have been a member of a gym for years as well, during school though I didn't attend too much. Paul has forever been a resistance trainer, always has been in great shape and thankfully takes his health very seriously. Both my kids are active, and participate in sports faithfully. Kailey will be joining our gym this April in order to keep in shape for her upcoming junior year in ringette. I never want my family to loose sight on the importance of healthy bodies, I hope I have instilled in them the values and benefits of keeping their bodies and mind in strong and powerful conditions.
A sedentary lifestlye is a choice, and even though on tough days when unexpected events or situations arise I still do my best to put on my running shoes and hit treads of sweat and tears! When its all said and done, the feeling is divine and so worth the hard work. It is known that the more you use your body, the healthier it gets--physical activity can reduce the risk of colon cancer by 50%,it reduces high blood pressure, stroke and coronary heart disease by 50%. Regular physical activity improves function and relieves symptoms of people with rheumatoid arthritis and reduces medication in some instances. If you put this all together, you can see that physical activity can benefit the body. It is life changing, life altering and life everlasting. I am fortunate enough to have that ability to run however even a 30 minute walk will be helpful to the long, healthy life you want to live!

A healthy attitude is contagious
but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.

Number 5 will do just fine....I guess!!

Well tonight on Dr. Oz, they discussed questions teenage girls may have about sex. They also touched on the relationships that we have with our teenagers as parents. I do spend an incredible amount of time with my teenage daughter due to her ringette schedule. Naturally, we have the opportunity to chat and discuss things in life, including all the wonderful and exciting things that are going on in her life. I absolutely love having this relationship with Kailey and at times wondered if possibly, maybe we were too close. Most moms may say.."how can you honestly ever be too close". I agree..I should be the number one person who she confides in or tells her secrets too. I am the safe place for her to come and share. I will always love her no matter what she has to say, and I would never hurt her. That makes sense...right? Thankfully she tells me most everything, and I think I know most of what is happening in her social circles. Yesterday Kailey received some pretty exciting news for her...yes it had something to do with a boy! At around 10pm she came out of her bedroom to tell me this wonderful news, I was very happy for her. Naturally I asked her if anyone else new, i assumed with it being 10pm most of her friends would be in bed or at least off their computers. Thinking that I was number 1 and the first one to get this information...I was sadly mistaken! She had already told the fabulous 4! This group of girls are her closest, most reliable, incredible, fun and trustworthy friends any 13 year old girl could have. They spend every weekend together, often hopping from house to house for numerous never-ending sleepovers. I was happily number 5, no I was not the first to know..and that is just fine. I was relieved actually that she doesn't feel that she needs to tell me everything right away and that she does prefer to enjoy these moments with her "fabulous 4". I do believe that there is a fine line between mother and daughter relationships, in my opinion it is not safe for a mom to be a best friend, we need to be mom's! I want Kailey to have her own experiences with love, heartache, breakups,makeups, friendships, disagreements and all the great things teenage girls can experience. I do hope to be there, and always be available to her for advice or just a ear to listen or arms to hold and hug her...
It was Paul who said tonight that I will probably never be number 1 again, that those days are gone. They leave us so quick, I was number 1 for 13 years....I have dropped to number 5! I will stay here in 5th place and eagerly wait to placed number one again...someday!!

Fun in T dot

I am so tired and really not in any frame of mind to blog. I really need to start blogging alot earlier in the day...tomorrow I promise myself to blog just after lunch time.
Today was great, had a nice time in Toronto, saw some old friends who I don't get to see as much anymore due to Kaileys ringette schedule. Braden played an exciting game of hockey and got 3 assists, his team won 5-0..pretty good game! I was amazed while watching him play today, he has such a mind set for hockey..he really knows how to fire up that gym and show his abilities in his game! We are fortunate to have this opportunity for Braden to be able to play with such great kids and be influenced by such inspiring coaches. We are truly blessed, days like today I am reminded that my life is filled with love, strength, determination, desire and hope. We came home and Paul and I took off to the gym for an hour, and as I sit here I can feel every muscle begin to tighten and contract and the dull ache is just starting...I will be hurting tomorrow! Good night and sweet dreams to all...

Still Kissing...

Well yes, as it states we are still managing to kiss a few times a day..it helps. It really does make a difference in how your day is going to be. Kissing releases a hormone called oxytocin. Researhers have found that a passionate kiss unleashes a complex, chemical surge in the brain which makes a lover feel excited,happy or relaxed. It is found that kissing also lowers the levels of the stress hormone-Cortisol. So, I guess my new years revolution ended up being the best one that I have ever made. Of course it all depends on how much I like him that day...some days depending on the chemical balance, I like him alot. Other days I am not too sure, kissing might just be blown from across the room! Actually we are having alot of fun with this, and I must say I do think we get along better on a day to day basis, not that we didn't before. It just makes us "make up" quicker...who wants to kiss someone that your upset with? Its been good, we have alot of laughs! Today was brilliant, I love days like today...especially when they are Saturdays. We had a game in Guelph, didn't go to well...but that didn't stop us from continuing on and enjoying the rest of the day. When we got home, I ran 5 miles,then hit the hot tub again to relax my bones. The best part about today was that everyone was home!! No one had anywhere to go, anything to do...it was fabulous! Both my kids were home and just chillin with mom and dad, we watched two movies and I made a chicken dinner. We didn't have a dessert but just as the second movie was starting I made Paul pause the movie and I called out "candy run!!" So, Paul and I in pajamas and all...took the kids candy orders (what they wanted to pig out on) and off we went to the nearest corner store! It was great...we got a ton of junk food! It was a great night, we soooo needed it. Especially with being pulled in different directions so much on weekends. Tomorrow, Kailey has nothing! SO we are all off to Toronto to see Braden play his hockey game. I am looking very forward to that. I didn't think that I would have the chance to get out there, but as it turns out...tomorrow is perfect! Maybe we'll hit the mall and go out for dinner too...that would be splended!

"Sin from thy lips? O tresspass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again"
- William Shakespheare
The first kiss from ROmeo and Juliet

Would you like some cheese with your wine??

Well as promised here are my pics from my new wine buffet/table console. I am very pleased with the result and absolutely, incredibly excited to throw a wine and cheese party in order to use my new entertaining unit. I am not quite finished decorating and sorting out exactly how I want to display my glass wear and the other decorative pieces. That will take some time, I enjoy that part...the finalizing! So I did a quick price comparison, and figured that my wine console only cost so far $500.00 dollars.
The table cost $300.00
wine rack $90.00
red wine goblets$ 14.00
martini glasses $20,00
picture of Finley 0
wine bottles 0
2 wall shelves $74.00 = 500.00 total



Compared to the Pottery barn version I have saved alot of money, a break down of this picture is roughly...

The Markham table $1,399.00
Oversized wine bottles $99.00- 279.00
Crown moulding shelf $59.00-259.00
PB Stemware $21.00 for set of 6
Red wine glasses $40.00 for a set of 6
total=$1821.00
Therefore I saved roughly $1,300.00
WOW I am so proud of myself, i won't lie I do like the table better from Pottery barn. But, I am still happy with the one I have. There really is not much of a difference between them...except the price, which I love!! Just a shout out to all my friends who saved all their wine corks for my lovely decorative piece that I have been working on for over a year. I am very pleased with it, and I am glad that I can finally display it.

Oh and a big thanks to Spencer for the beautiful black and white photo of Finley, we just love that pic..I do think I might move it and actually hang it on the wall..but for know I am going to leave it exactly where it is...my favorite corner in my house...my wine spot!!
Tonight was fun, Paul and I went to the poker tournament for the Cambridge Ringette league. It was cool, there were over 80 people there and I witnessed some pretty serious poker players. It was funny, a room full of men, all different types. Some serious, some their just to support their girls and the team, some there tonight who didn't have a clue what they were doing, and some there just because it was something to do. I helped with the food prep and then I set it up with the help of some other mom's. It was great, lots of laughs, good glass of wine and of course some cheese!!!

Nothing new

Tonights blog is going to be short. Today was good, the day got busy from about 3pm. I left the house at 2:30 and didn't get in until 9:10 tonight. Just stuff to do..never ends. Poor Kailey was up at 6:30am to be at school for a 7:15am basketball practice, then she had dryland training at 6:00pm this evening..so she exhausted. Braden had an appointment today at 3:30, so he too had a long day. I got my shelfs up over my wine table, looks pretty good! I am not fully satisfied with it just yet, tomorrow I will have more time to work on it. I am going in the morning to get my passport renewed. Tomorrow night we have a poker tournament to help run for Cambridge ringette..I hate poker! Its a fundraiser, should be fun though because I always have fun with the parents from Kailey's team. Its almost the weekend, i don't think there will be any sleeping in unfortunately...always something going on. Good night, see you tomorrow!

Once the dust settles...

Well I tried so hard to upload a video that I did tonight. I wanted to post a quick video of the renovations taking place in our basement. Last night I was up until 11:30 trying to upload a video of Braden walking on the treadmill. Unfortunately its just black and you cannot see anything. Finally this evening while searching for an answer to this problem I found that blogger is actually having the problem and is looking for a fix. So once they fix the bug in the program, i"ll upload my reno video.
As the title says "Once the dust settles" things will be clearer. I spent most of the day cleaning this house today, due to the dust traveling upstairs. What a mess, i am constantly vaccumming and dusting. It is only going to get worse too, once Paul starts to drywall and then sand the seams...it will get messy again.

I have decided not to let Kailey move into her new bedroom until the dust has settled. No point really in moving all her stuff down there and then have to clean it at the end of each day. She is happy where she is for now! The picture below is her new bedroom doors..Paul did a most fabulous job on them, they are beautiful!

Other than all the cleaning today was good, I ran this morning and had a great run, then I cleaned and hit the hot tub for 15 minutes just to relax my old bones. It was so nice in there today, so warm and the sun was making me sleepy. I almost felt like I was at a resort, untill Harley came over with his cold wet nose and planted a kiss on my cheek, then Finley dropped her tennis ball into the water so I would throw it so she could run and get it! Braden took us out for dinner tonight...it was awesome! He took us all to Red Lobster for a treat, it was delicious. He had asked if i would cook some lobster tails and I said nope, he would have to take us out! Guess what, he agreed and said ok how about Wednesday..i think he felt pretty good with himself taking his family out for dinner! He joked that we couldn't have anything over $30.00..Paul of course said he was going to start a tab at the bar. Thank you for dinner tonight Braden, we had alot of fun and enjoyed the conversation over dinner. It was a good day..tomorrow morning we are going to the gym, then I have to get my passport pics done because Greece isn't too far away!

Just another Tuesday..

Here is a picture of my boy! Every Sunday he goes to Toronto to play Powerwheelchair hockey. It is his life, he loves hockey. He has so much knowledge about ice hockey as well as powerwheelchair hockey. Braden plays on a team called "The King"s, and he has an awesome coach who he loves and thinks is so funny! It takes alot of skill to play this game, and I can honestly say Braden is great at it. He is a high scorer, he has many assists and he is a real team leader. Even though Paul has to drive to Toronto every SUnday it is so worth it, he has met amazing people who are true inspirations. Unfortunately due to Kaileys ringette schedule I don't get out to see him play as much. That makes me sad, and I hope to catch the end of his season when Kaileys season is over. Untill then, I am cheering from the homefront, very very loudly! Today was a good day, it was busy once again. I ran this morning, it was a great run and I felt so good afterwards. Then I hiked over to the laundry mat to wash the dogs beds I perfer to wash their beds at the laundry mat because I don't want all the dog hair in my machines. Here is Finley enjoying her nice, clean, fresh bed. After that, I headed to Hamilton with Braden for his walking therapy or treadmill training as they like to call it!

After we were done at MacMaster we headed to Wendys for dinner. It was nice to have sometime with him today..life gets so busy and I miss these moments together. After Braden's therapy appointment I got home at around 6:15pm and then was out the door again at 7:15pm to have Kailey at the arena for a practice. My day was filled, but I loved it! Paul of course was busy working on the basement, I will post pics soon of that...wow, it is coming along amazingly! He is working so hard...thank you Paul I am so appreciative of all your hard work, I know that your workmanship is fabulous and I won't be disappointed with your job...that's why I didn't want to hire anyone to do it...I like your work!! Its the best!! Wishing everyone sweet dreams..

Living with the "C" word

Cancer...one word that can destroy a life,a family, a soul and at times a faith. But only if you allow it too..
Tonight was a very humble evening for our whole family. We attended a funeral of a 16 year old beautiful young lady who lost her battle on Friday with Cancer. Braden had the priviledge of growing up and going through school with this wonderful girl. Steph was in our lives since grade 4, and she was an avid ringette player for Cambridge often meeting Kialey as she got off the ice after one of her games. This young woman had a smile which would brighten a cloudy day, and I am so grateful that she shared so many smiles with me and my family. I remember speaking with her mom at a fundraiser that the Cambridge Turbo's had organized, and there was still hope at that time. Her mom spoke softly, describing Steph's battle as courageous, strong and over-whelming. We discussed some of the neurosurgeons and the care she has recieved at MacMaster Children's hospital. I remember feeling a sense of contention and determination coming from her. She was a fighter and a believer, and I was aware of the battle she was willing to fight. I understand completely that my experiences in life is NOT the same as her experiences. However, when a mother is threatened with the thought of losing her child there is a feeling of desperation, fear,agony and despair. Those feelings last for about 10 seconds and then we prepare for battle. It doesn't really matter what the situation is, all the feelings are the same. Every mother and father feels the exact same way when they get the terrible news that their child is up for a fight to stay alive.
So many things go through your mind, immediately you start to pray and hope that someone is listening. You are so desperate, that you will do anything to save your child. Surrendering is not an option and I know that Steph, never surrendered..she fought till the end..she was a warrior. Unfortunately someone had other plans for Steph and she was called home, as a parent we have to come to terms with this..we will never win against the Lord. I once explained my battle as playing a game of Tug of War with God, I was at one end of the rope and God was at the other end. Everytime my son showed any sign of leaving me and things in the ICU didn't look promising for Braden..i felt that was god tugging at the rope, I then inturn tugged harder. At times I was very angry, yelling at God to leave him with me..stop trying to take him! YOU won't win, he is mine and you gave him to me. It is true, I was angry with god..I didn't want to lose my child. We had too many scary moments during my game of tug of war...I did realize eventually that god was in charge of this situation and nothing I said or done was going to change the outcome of our journey. It was then that I started to heal, and surrender. I needed to accept whatever fate was coming my way..so instead of yelling at him, I asked him to send me the stregth to deal with the circumstances. I stopped yelling, and I stopped tugging at the rope. I did get to keep my son, I don't believe that I won...its not about that! I believe our journey is not over, Braden still has a purpose as all of us do. Even though it is not fair to have lost such a beautiful, radiant young lady she has lived her life, the life she was given and as her mother said she has lived it to the fullest. I don't understand the reason's for losing a child, it is not fair..it is unbearable and the most difficult thing for a parent to comprehend. Tonight I will be praying for Steph's mom, my heart is with her. My tears are shed for her, she will not see her daughter get married, have a career,have a baby or fullfill any of the dreams she had desired in her future. I will pray that she has the strength, faith and love to bravely face her new destiny..whatever that may bring.

Please note, that my blogs are strictly based on my feelings and experiences. My perspective and life experiences that I share so openly are my personal perception of my life and how I have made it through some most very difficult times...*sigh*

If you want to feel rich, then count the things that money can't buy!

I am so excited to be going to Ikea tomorrow with my mom. I have a list filled with gizmo's and gadgets.My comfy shoes are at the front door ready to be pressed with force through the many isles of Ikea. Just as exhilarating is the .50 cent hot dog we will devour at lunch time...its going to be great!!
One of my new projects in the house is a table/bar console that I an arranging in my front hallway.
This is a picture from Pottery Barn, which is a place that I use to shop long before Paul became laid off. Its been a good six months and there really is no talk of him going back to work anytime soon. Thankfully, we as a family are perfectly happy and content with this situation...for now. However what comes with less income is less spending. Typically I wouldn't have thought twice about spending 1,5000 dollars on a table that I absolutely loved or had to have. Well, lately...things have changed and I have had to change my way of spending. Instead of heading out to Toronto and casually slipping into Pottery Barn to spend a ridiculous amount of money, I went to Urban Barn..right here in Cambridge and spent 300.00 dollars on a most fabulous bar/table console. It is just as nice as the one featured in this picture, and I am over the moon thrilled with the price.


I am certainly much happier having my husband home with me, spending time with me and the kids, helping out with Braden every single day, taking the physical work away from me during the day and being avavilable for all the appointments we face weekly
I would much perfer less money, saving more, spending less and changing our lifestyle one dollar at a time, then going back to living a life of stress, anxiety, pain, and at times frustrations due to my inability to no longer care for Braden effectively.
I am not too sure how long this new life will last, but for know we are enjoying the quiet mornings, afternoon coffee's, walks in the park (with the dogs) and the many chats we have about life, kids and where our future is going to take us. It's kinda exciting not having a plan, not knowing where we are going to be in 5 years. This is the first time ever in all our years together that we have NOT had a plan, and guess what we don't care!! We are enjoying the moment...every moment!
I have taken this picture from Pottery Barn to show you a cost analysis of this project I have been working on. By the end of the week I will have my version of this picture in my very own kitchen/hallway. Except my version will NOT cost thousands of dollars, mine will be cost efficient and just as beautiful. I promise to post my picture on Friday..just a little hint, I love the prices at Ikea!!
On a side note, my Cambridge Turbo girls kicked ass in Whitby and beat them 7-5..it was a sweat victory! Way to go ladies, I am so proud of each of you!!

Obama Enlists Ex-Presidents; Haitians Grow More Desperate Amid Slow Aid, Stench of Death - ABC News

Here is a short clip attatched, please take the time to listen and become aware of the damage, depair and desperation...if you are unable to donate to the red cross inorder to support Haiti, then please pray for the people!


Obama Enlists Ex-Presidents; Haitians Grow More Desperate Amid Slow Aid, Stench of Death - ABC News

Thanks Dad!

It really doesn't matter how old you are, you always want your parents to be proud of what you have accomplished. My parents have always and forever been at my side, encouraging, inspiring and protecting every step that i have taken. Thank god they have allowed me to take my own steps and only sometimes holding my hand to guide me. Tonight my dad called me to let me know that he was reading my blogs. He said that I am doing a wonderful job and he was proud of me, he said I was a great writer. This phone call made me smile from ear to ear, I felt like a 10 year old girl who just passed a math test and he was telling me how proud he was of me! I haven't felt like this in years, my mom always tells me how proud she is. My dad does too, all the time he lets me know...but tonight was different! I was on cloud nine, so happy that at 39 years old I was still making my parents proud! What a feeling, thanks dad! I love you so much and I am happy that you are my dad! You have always been a strong, influential, significant person who I have learned a great deal from. I believe its your authoritative figure and rough edges that have been instilled in my spirit and has taught and enabled me to rise when I have surrendered.
Ok, so with that said and all the excitment from his phone call..naturally he had to let me know that I spelt "Kitchener" wrong in one of my blogs. So you see he builds me up...then shoots me down! He makes me laugh...thanks for that dad!!
This blog was about my dad, not everything but just a glimpse. I don't have enough time to get into the real significance of my parents presense in my life..I could go on forever. I will however have much to say some day not only about my dad but of course about the only women who has ever given me back my breath when I felt I had no more, when I could not or would not breath. My mom is my life, she has the ability with one touch to make my world ok again, she is the one who laughs with me, cries with me or just listens when I need her too.
So, Paul..don't be jealous! I will write about our most fabulous life together.. sometime. Actually Sparkee I love you soo much that I will write a whole book about it, the good the bad and the ugly! I hope you are prepared...

She's growing up..

Here I am at 10:50pm sitting in front of my computer drinking a cup of tea. I had many ideas throughout the day on things that I could blog about, but here I am and I only can think of one thing and that is how quick she has grown up. Today was so busy, I won't go into the full events of the day but at 3:00 I had to pick up Kailey from school and drive over to Lincoln Ave. Kailey had a basketball game afterschool and I had volunteered to be a driver for the team. After basketball we had a quick dinner then set out for an evening spent at Southwood Highschool. This is where we were introduced to the idea of our 13 year old daughter attending highschool. I was not ready for this at all I remember this day like it was yesterday..see pic below


You see, this was a wonderful day, the day she was born! One of the most important days of my life, at the time she was born nobody warned me not to blink because when you open your eyes you will be standing in Southwood Highschool choosing school sports and which math class will benefit your future goals, hopes and dreams. Why does it go so fast? I still want the days on the beach, long hours just watching her play, hearing her laugh and having no worries in the world... I liked those days,it was much easier back then.
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I still remember her first day of kindergarten, she was so beautiful. So tiny and not ready to take on the big bad world. Actually that day (see pic below) was a



difficult one because I was torn between being at Kaileys first day of kindergarten or being at Bradens bedside. He was at McMaster at the time with pneumonia, and was on life support...I opted to be with Kailey. I dropped her off at school and stayed a little to make sure she settled. I told her that nana and papa would be picking her up and she was going to spend time with them untill mommy got home after dinner. It was a hard day, trusting that she was going to be ok, believing in her at only 4 years old that she could handle it and be strong. I questioned if I had prepared her enough for this big step, if I had given her all the tools she needed to be independant and not be frightened of her new environment. I kinda felt the same way tonight, except on a slightly larger scale. I am not doubting myself or wondering anymore if I have done the best that I can, if I have provided her with all the instructions and directions that she will need to succeed in this new found space of freedom. I am completely confident in her, she is an amazing young women who is filled with so much knowledge, strengh,desire and determination. She will be extraodinary and I have no doubt that she will flourish and make the best of these coming years. I just hope I have imprinted in her heart to remember to have fun doing so, its the most important thing to remember. Paul and I have some big changes coming up these next few years, our baby is going into highschool and our boy will be making some college or university choices and some career decisions. We are at a new place in life, it is at times scary to think of the future, I have only known the past. I guess we will take it one day at a time, and try not to look back to much or we may forget to "GO FORWARD".

Table for two in "San Fransico"

“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”

I had an amazing day today! Blessed in so many ways, and I always love to be reminded of that.
I had lunch with Candy today, it was so nice to see her again. We chatted mostly about family, kids, husbands and just life in general. We shared many laughs, mostly at Candy's expense..I won't go into detail, don't want to embarrass my friend. I actually could use today as blackmail, but I'll save it for another day!
Colleen and I went out this evening to a wonderful, quaint little pizza restaurant in Ayr. It was Colleen's find, and she wanted to take me there for dessert and coffee. We ended up sitting there for about 3 hours talking about so much in life. I enjoyed that quiet little place "San Fransico's" very much, it was a wonderful evening. Colleen and I shed some tears, laughed, giggled and at times spoke so loudly (out of excitemnent) that other tables would listen in on our conversation. Colleen and I don't get the opportunity as much because she works full time days and both our evenings are usually really busy so that leaves us with little to work with. I love having days like today where I get the chance to be reminded of who I am and how I have gotten here. Everything about my closest friends depicts who I have become, if you don't have great friends in life....your world would be a lonely place! I am lucky to have such good friends from childhood and we are still going strong. A friend will love, care and respect who we become always standing beside us, at times maybe questioning you on certain decisions or choices but always there to accept you. It may not always be perfect, sometimes there are disagreements, disappointments and misunderstandings. But a true friend does not critisize, argue or judge they are there to listen, guide and protect. I have had many moments in my life that I have been unsure of, I can honestly say that my friends have been beside me every step of the way. I am thankful for both of them, and I love them very much!

Harley and Me

Harley and Me
This blog I am dedicating to my bestest friend ever...my yellow lab Harley!
We have had Harley for 12 years, we got him when Kailey was only a baby,she had just turned one. It wasn't like our lives weren't busy enough with a child recovering from a serious spinal cord injury and a busy toddler. I had just felt it was important for our children to grow up with pets, I had always had a dog in my life and was really missing the love that they give. I remember going to the kennel and originally wanting a female lab, no real reason just because it is always what my parents bought. After recieving a phone call once the puppies were born they had said that they only had males left, people there before us had already chosen first the females. We didn't really care, it was something new and i'd get use to a male dog. He was so cute, he had the biggest paws, the blackest nose and the most gorgeous face I have ever seen on a lab. From the moment I saw him, I told Paul he was the one I wanted. We met his parents, his mom was quiet and reserved and the breeder said she was very smart. His father was very hyper and not really all that bright. We had hoped he'd take after his mother because the last thing we needed was a hyper, crazy dog in our home. We were willing to risk it though.


Our love was instant, but the relationship took time. House breaking him was the hardest thing I have ever done. The breeder had told us to find a place in the house where we can't hear him and that will be where he sleeps in a crate. Paul was all for it, I however cried for the first 3 nights because I could hear him crying all alone, by himself downstairs in a cage..it was devasting. Over time I didn't hear him any more through the night, and when I would go to check on him I would find him comfortably sleeping in his crate...it was about a week and then I was fine, and so was Harley.


We have had so many birthdays with Harley, so many christmas', easters, summer holidays thousands of celebrations and so many happy moments. I can honestly say that good ol'Harley is my best friend because he has been the most consistent lovable figure in my life. Of course outside of my family, when I think of the times that only I have shared with Harley, only he and I will ever know the significance of our relationship. There were many times after spending hours in a hospital room, and Paul taking over for the night with Braden that I would come home and weep into Harley, never once would he pull away first, he is always there. At times only him and I have partaken in good times and bad times,he was there with me through break ups and make ups, through tears, joy, sadness, fear and hope, love and justice my boy has always been beside me. In my most saddest,loneliest moments it was Harley who was constent, of course most of those times Paul was there and made those moments safe for me again. But a few times in our 20 years together Paul was not or could not be there, religiously Harley remained at my side.He has protected my home for 12 years never letting anyone through the front doors that I didn't welcome with open arms. HE was a pillar of strength when I was not, he was there when the kids were sick, when I was sick always...conveniently meeting me in the kitchen and following me into the bedroom of the baby that had called out through the night. Up until Harley could no longer make it up our staircase, he slept on the floor beside me. Every night I would ask for a kiss goodnight and he would oblige, sometimes my arm would fall to the side of the bed and I would be awaken gently by Harley getting a taste of the last thing I had fed to the kids before they were put to bed. He watched my kids outside playig always keeping an eye on any neighbourhood action. He protected the pool area always barking at any horseplay, letting them all know that it was not allowed...someone could get hurt.


I could turn my back on a situation trusting that Harley would watch them, he never let me down.

Harley is always happy, never expecting anything in return. His tail is continuously wagging never showing signs of aggression or unhappiness. Know, he hasn't always been perfect and at times he has been a huge challenge. Oh, he has his quirks..he failed puppy school his first time around and that was embarrassing. He eventually got it and squeeked by proudly with his diploma. We could never leave anything out when we would leave the house because he would have it torn and destroyed, eaten and consumed anything left around the table. He has eaten toys,shoes,pencils, markers,presents,bags of cookies especially oreo's (those are his favorite) bags of bread, boxes of crackers and bags of halloween candy. Ironically Halloween is his favorite occassion. HE can usually sniff out the kids treats from behind a closed closet door. Second I think his favorite holiday is easter, he managed one year to sneak upstairs into my bedroom and eat at least 3 bags of Areo chocholate bars, reids chocolate and many small easter eggs.He threw up so bad that day we had to replace our living room carpet. He had diarreha for days and pooped out wrappers for almost a week.

He is starting to show signs of his age and this has been incrediably difficult for our family. The kids have literally grown up with him, he is family. There are many things that Harley can no longer do, mostley because of his hips. He has become very ornery in his old age. He doesn't like rough housing as much, he barks way to much which means he is very opinionated. We definatley know when he is not happy anymore, he is set in his ways and is at time demanding for his routine. He sleeps more, plays less but still through his age loves the most! He has become an old wise soul and knows each of us better than we know eachother, and for that I am greatful. We still have a few good years left with Harley, he isn't going anywhere any time soon, I have promised to make sure his old age is filled with hugs,petting, comfort, treats,bones, walks and so much love. I love you Harley my boy! Thank you for being my constant, unconditional love..(of course outside of Paul).

T'is the season...for a vacation

Tonight I have a terrible headache, I am sorry there won't be much posted! Instead I have decided to post a picture from a holiday I went on 2 years ago. I just remember sitting under this hut all by myself with no one around. It was amazing, i had my Ipod and a book, unfortunately this holiday was not one with my family and I spent alot of time missing them. Oh how I miss the peace, relaxation, sand, sun, water and view!!