Oh my dear girl, I am not too sure if this advice is still a bit too soon to be giving you. I guess I won't be naïve and believe strictly that you are going to wait until marriage to have sex. Nor do I believe I would want you too.
I guess a part of me is a believer in test driving the car before you buy it...kinda sorta~
What I mean by that, is I certainly do not want you to test drive a whole bunch of cars...lol...but at least find out if the lucky man you choose to sleep with, is open minded and easy going enough to tend to all your needs. Make sure this man isn't all about himself, that his number one concern in a sexual relationship is YOUR needs. Its also vitally important that you "mesh" well together, that communication is open and honest. In order to have that in a relationship, it takes time. So don't rush into sex...take your time, talk about it and most importantly have the ability to laugh together while you learn your way around one another.
So lets get down to this #95...Sex for the first time will require a sense of humor.
Please do not take sex lightly, in todays world it tends to be at everyone's disposal. Its considered something of an "expected" sort of thing. It is looked upon so lightly, not even giving the choice a second thought. Each person who you sleep with, and then break up with...takes a piece of you with them. If that becomes something you do continuously with guys..then by the time the "right" one comes around...there will be pieces missing. You won't be able to give him all of you..it won't be sacred or special. It will just be a part of your relationship, and that to me is simply boring and truly kinda sad. The same goes for your partner...try to pick a young man who has values and morals. Someone who isn't ashamed to admit he doesn't have a lot of experience but he is willing to learn along with you.
One of the best parts about my marriage is the fact that we have learned together, we were not experienced when we first met. It took time to get it "right". Our sex life grew with time and practice. So did everything else we were working towards in our life together.(Ok, i'll say no more here cause I am sure you're probably grossed out) The lucky ones, the ones who make choices based on a moonstruck future with a loving caring partner are the ones who don't practice sex with bountiful amounts of people.
They wait for the right one, the one(s) who they won't regret having had those experiences with even if there is a break up. When choosing a partner be sure he has patience and more importantly be sure he can make you laugh.
This is such a hard topic to discuss, because I don't want to come across as being judgemental. I am NOT judging anyone who may have chosen to be with numerous partners. If you feel its something you can live with, then by all means keep doin you~
But with my experiences, in my own life it has served me well to have NOT had any other partners in my life. I am very thankful and blessed to still be with the man who I chose to share not only my life but my virginity. I would NOT change anything I have done, and I know not many can say that themselves. I have no regrets...and that's not easy too find these days.
So back onto the who Sex for the first time will require a sense of humor. That my girl is the truth. Most people start out in teenage years having those feelings of lust and love. They know their bodies are changing, and so they start to explore it. They get to know their own bodies, and figure out how it works. That's important, you have to understand your own body before you can invite someone else in to fulfill the desires you have.
With that said...Sex for the first time is not going to be easy, life is not a fairytale and neither is making love.
If you have a beautiful fantasy on how you think its going to go down during your first time, be advised that its highly unlikely not going to happen. Sex is not all about romance, fantasies, fuzzy feelings, soft music, rose smelling sensualized motion.
More likely the first time is going to be stressful, nervous, tensed and even possibly painful.
If you can't take meds to help with that kind of pain...whats the next best cure for pain??
HUMOR
That's right! If you can get through your first time with enlightened communication and refined humor between the two of you..then I promise the romance won't even be a thought.
If the two of you can laugh together and discuss what its going to take to make this moment the best it could be...then my girl, I promise your life with this man will be filled with much more than just a physical attraction.
With time and patience, the romance will follow. Once you both have it all figured out, then you can start expressing your wants and needs around the rose petals, romantic music and fantasies. If you have a man that can make you laugh during your most personal moments...he'll probably be making you laugh through all things that will be thrown at you in this life.
If I had just one wish my darling" it would be just that, a man in your life that can make you laugh regardless of the situation. Humor is the secret to a happy life, it heals wounds and it mends broken bridges. It can guide you from something so dark and scary, and bring you into a state of mind that any thing can seem manageable.
If you are reading this post I hope you can understand the thoughts and words that I am trying to express. What works for me, may not work for you and I know that. But I do know if you are reading this and you are an adult, we can both agree that having sex should not be taken lightly.
No comments:
Post a Comment