Well I thought I was going to get a full week off when Braden told me he was heading to Mexico. Technically I only have 3 days to get some things done around my house. The biggest job of course is going through Bradens rooms and cleaning them throroughly. THAT alone is going to take 3 full days. You know, I hadn't noticed before what a profound impact Braden's presence has in my life. He and I are the same person, and when we fight i'd say it reaches a level of dysfunction that no one should ever witness. However...when we laugh, there is no other who makes me laugh as much as he does. Its funny cause when I think of the only other person who could truly make me laugh so passionatley is my brother...honestly Braden is identical to him...I do miss my brother for that reason! I spend a large amount of my day with Braden, well not so much WITH eachother..but within eachothers space. Sometimes we can go days without really having a conversation..and yet we are driving to Hamilton, driving to appointments...or entertaining some sort of "professional" who needs to do a "visit" to see how things are. I am available for his every need...medically, physically, educationally, mentally, and every other area of his life that he needs assistance. Each doctor, therapist, rehabilitation and insurance situation he brings himself through..I am available. With Braden turning 20, its our job to turn over all these things in his life for him to take control of. MY GOD there are plenty. This recent trip he has taken he did it all himself. The only thing I helped him with was going to the bank to get travel insurance, in which we come to realize is included with his new "Priority" Visa. I can't express enough how proud we are of him...what an amazing job he did too. There is so much that he needs to know, understand and plan for..I am sure he felt it to be overwhelming at times, but he did it and we couldn't be prouder. So much that people don't think of when you are travelling with some one in wheelchair. The airplane/service needs to know the deminsions of the chair, weight, height, battery operated..everything. Then there is understaning his physical transfer needs onto and off of the plane, there needs to be accessible transfer available and reliable once he gets to Mexico. That is by far the most nerve wracking part of travel...its a 3rd world country that usually flies by the seat of their very laid back pants. Next is the actual resort..is it completely accessible? Is the bathroom going to suit his needs? In fact, his nurse while there these past few days has unfortunately hurt his back with transfers. Braden's nurse is a 6'7" big guy who is bending down to a bed fit for a country of 5' people. Thankfully problem was solved and the hotel raised Braden's bed....C is feeling better and recovering from his back pain. Can you imagine the fear, panic we felt when we heard C was having a difficult time getting Braden out of bed?
As you can imagine, thats alot for a 20 year old young man to organize and execute on his own, all that planning. But he did it...and he did a wonderful job and I have no concerns with his abiltiy to survive in this world on his own. Speaking of on his own...I have done alot of thinking with him gone. How my life will change dramatically when he no longer lives with us. I thought I would get a true feeling of that with him gone this week, but I know he is coming home so its not the same. I don't truly know how I feel about him eventually moving out..part of me knows I will have an empty spot in my life, I will be lost without him here on a daily basis. I don't know what I will do with my time, especially living in Turkey Point. Paul and I are enjoying our new found time together...one thing is for sure..when Braden does go to live on his own, we will never be eating in anymore. Seriously, we havent had a meal at home since last Wednesday..thats terrible! I know I haven't said much about Kail in this whole adventures of everyone leaving the house and moving out on their own. The only thing I have to say is that Kail will always have a bedroom..wherever i live. She is always welcome back home, any time! You know what? That girl is growing up so fast...and she is having a great time in life right now, carefree fun with friends, her school plans for the future is coming along nicely. She will leave home, she will live on her own...but really..I think she will come home again, not forever...but once more time to be loved, spoiled and babied..one more time before she heads out into the big bad world of "the working adult". Its when I am happiest..it truly is, when my babies are home...I am complete~
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