Let's face it people...raising teen's is NOT an easy job! I remember when the kids were little, and up all night with fever's or the stomach flu, or going through the terrible 2's, they go through phases of lying, hiding things and then we reach the "independant" phase. I can recall moments when I would sit and think about "oh when they get older, it will be much easier"...Little did I realize what we'd be in for! I had NO idea how much more emotionally draining these teen years would be, not only emotionally and mentally but physically too. Constantly busy, someone always going somewhere. Kids picking up and driving around with MY kids in thier vehicles, parties, get togethers, homework, projects, school activities...etc etc...once they become more independant, then they have to become more responsible. I have no problems at all with my kids growing and becoming independant... its the exhausting role we take of guiding them and trying to provide the tools they will need to become happy, functional successful people in our society. I had NO idea how much more challenging and tiring things were going to get!
I was reading this article about teenage girls and how they can loose confidence during their teenage years.
Some advice given was too get a female mentor for your daughter if you see her struggling with depression or confidence. No matter how good your communication is with your daughter, there are things she will not and cannot tell you, things she needs desperately to tell someone. I do agree with this, not even just for girls but for boys too. Unfortunatley while a teenager is finding her/his way they tend to disconnect from their parents and sometimes don't like to share what is going on in their lives.
I think this is a very important point and as parents we should realize that our teens will not always feel comfortable coming to us with problems, therefore it is our job to help our kids find someone who they can trust and open up too.
Sometimes it can be a coach, another parent, teacher, counsellor or even a therapist. Teenagers who learn to talk about their issue's tend to do better with coping. Don't take it personally if your teen doesn't want to talk things out with you...it will only be temporary. You all know how much we need our mommies and daddies when we become adults and new parents ourselves..they'll come back to you, they always do!
It is known that a mother/daughter bond can be even stronger if a mom can respect her daughter's wishes to have privacy. As long as that mom know's her daughter is talking to someone, and recieving good advice and a trusting relationship then we can rest knowing we've done our job right.
So if you do have a teenager who you find is not opening up or pulling away from you, ask him/her if she'd like to talk with someone. Someone who can keep things confidential. There are many services in your community that can provide someone to listen and help your teen. Remember not to take things personally, its not about you..its about your teen trying to find his/her way in the world. I can't express enough how it is OUR job to help them find the best way for them to cope, whether its directly with us or with someone else.
Happy Saturday my Lovelies~
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