For being mean to friends when I was a child. Yep I have to admit this and its so hard to do but I was a bit of a bully. Sad isn't it??! I was not always a good friend when I was in grade school, I was bossy, pushy, intimidating..I WAS A CHUMP!!
I look back at those days and wonder why these friends are still in my life? Seriously..I was aweful! It only lasted a couple years...it started in grade 4 and went till about grade 6. Once I hit middle high school, things changed...tables turned and I became the victim, I was the one being bullied. Its amazing how they say what goes around, comes around...because for me, it sure did! I deserved every bit of it, I was a target because I was small and insecure. I wanted to be cool and fit in but that came with a price. Eventually I fought my way out of the being the victim...literally fist faught my bully in order to gain freedom. One summer she showed up at my house to fight...I reluctently went outside and put my "duke's" up and we hashed it out on the front lawn of my house. My dad looked on cheering me for me...my mom round the corner in her car, pulled over and stopped the fight. She yelled at the other girl to go home and told me to get into the house. My dad told her it wasn't my fault, but then he got into trouble for allowing this behaviour. I didnt really get into trouble and when we returned to school I was no longer her "friend" and I went about my own business as she did too. It changed me though, my bullying days were over for good! I became a better friend, I searched for my place in this world. I made new friends, luckily I still had my old ones.
I like to think that those negative qualities that I sported back in the day have someone helped shape who I am? Realistically it must have, I am a very passionate person, my heart breaks easily and I am extremely compassionate too. Being a former bully/bully target definately made me see how it effects others, know I am the go to person...I listen, and I can empathize on both sides.
With all that said...I do regret that I was mean to my friends, I was just a lost little girl with ALOT of insecurities. We all laugh about it now as grown ups...but deep down it still bothers me! That is certainly who I am not today...and to think of me being that kind of person makes me want to puke! I am sorry friends..I was a mean girl!!
Like I mentioned though...what goes around comes around and I certainly got what was coming to me!
We all need to find ourselves at that age, even though you were mean lol, but it was your way to deal with things. You were a sister to me and always were, so no matter what you id and even though I was amd at you a lot for a day LOL, I couldn't imagine my life without you now! You are an amazing, mother, wife, daughter, friend and sister! You have such strenght and determination, and I admire what you have pulled yourself out of. Nothing could ever break the bond we have, I have neve held a grudge or hated you for more than a day. I look up to you, can't get rid of me that easy! I love you and your family!
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