The Power of Prayer~

       (Easter cake at the Ronald MacDonald House, so thankful
        for that place and the comfort it provided)
 

In my 44 years I have to say I have had more prayers answered than not. I would consider that blessed. Maybe those looking in from the outside might wonder how I can possibly believe that.
I suppose that's because its all in how you look at it.
I learned at a young age that god is always there for you, he loves you regardless of your choices. I would pray for things most or many may pray for. Please lord let the weather be nice tomorrow, I want to straighten my hair. Dear lord, please let me pass this test. I would pray for just about anything...more clothes, more money, popularity and even desperately a boyfriend. Eventually I learned with age that those things are not important...and then my prayers shifted to praying for strength, even guidance.
After my car accident, which paralyzed my infant son...all I ever prayed for was answers. Please lord, why did this happen to us? Why me? Please god...help him heal, make him walk, give me back my son. WHY?.
That was the biggest, most difficult question and prayer of my life. Never once was I given an answer...not ever did I feel a sense of why this had happened in my life. I guess we could look at the realistic aspect...clearly I didn't look the third time before I pulled out to turn left. Obviously the other guy was speeding, and we both crossed the yellow line which in turn caused the accident. There it is...that's it right?!
Maybe it is that simple. When living through a tragedy like this, that explanation isn't the one you want to cling to inorder to survive. You grasp at straws, you reach out to faith..you scope your surroundings for hope. Its a desperation in times of catastrophe that you learn exactly what it is you need. This past Easter Sunday marked the 20th year anniversary of one of the best days of my life. If I had ever had any doubt in the power of prayer or the presence of God in my life all of that doubt was lifted.
It was the Saturday night before Easter Sunday and this was our second Easter with Braden. Sadly, Braden was in ICU on life support fighting for his life. We had been in the hospital for 6 weeks by this time and seeing no improvement at all. He laid still, not moving anyting except his eyes. Over time more and more tubes were introduced to his tiny body. Breathing tubes, feeding tubes, drainage tubes, urinary tubes every kind of tube you can think of was injected into our son. Life sustaining of course, was I afraid of those tubes? Absolutely not I didn't even see them all I could see was Braden.
With it being only our 2nd Easter with our baby boy we were still pretty new at this parenting. I will tell you however Easter celebrations were of the utmost importance. The Easter bunny was going to come regardless of where Braden was laying his head to sleep. We did have our plans for the bunny, we had bought him a few toys, movies and clothes.
It was a happy time, I was grateful that our son was still here and at this time we were able to celebrate in that. Give thanks to god for that blessing alone. We were still unsure of what the future was going to hold for our young family. I was still having up and down moments of hope and despair.
That Saturday night when Paul and I were leaving the hospital, the sadness I had felt was crushing. I will never forget the pain, the feeling of loss. I hated where we were, I hated the situation we were in. We headed back to the Ronald MacDonald house that night, we were just across the street from the hospital. Braden had fallen asleep for the night, we had said our goodbyes to the nurses and we left our son. He was so tiny, so little and helpless. All I could think about is how it isn't suppose to be this way. We should be at home, hiding chocolate eggs and getting all our Easter treats out and ready for the Easter Bunny.

             (Paul stretching his hand to encourage more movement, you can see one of the treats the nurses hid up top. Cute Micky Mouse Hat with sunglasses and a little gold chocolate egg)

I missed home, I missed my bed and I longed for my life back. We were so scared, no idea what our life had in store for us. All our plans, hopes and dreams were shattered. Nothing was going to ever be the same again...and the scariest part of all this, was he had no control over any of it.
That night we sat in our kitchen at the Ronald MacDonald house. It was a room with about 10 other round tables with chairs. It was so sterile, so clean. We were very appreciative of the atmosphere they provided for all of the families living there. It really was a place of comfort away from home.
The lights were dim, the kitchen was empty. But I wasn't ready to sleep, it was 1am and I was so tired but so full of sadness. I was lost, couldn't bring myself to sleep.
I remember making a cup of tea in that quiet kitchen, Paul and I sat at the table and I just cried. I was devastated. It all came to head, the severity of my accident the reality of his injuries. Where would we go from here...why won't he move? Please god...make him move.
Then it began, my prayers.
Paul had decided to go up to bed, I was beside myself and he knew there was nothing he could do. I was angry with him at the time. How could he leave me sitting there in that kitchen so sad, crying and distraught. But he did, he went to bed. I stayed at that little table, crying and praying...praying that god would give me a sign. My prayers were so desperate that I stopped praying for him to "fix" Braden, know I prayed for just a sign that he was going to be ok.
Looking back, maybe this was the moment I accepted our fate. I will take anything, as long as he is alive and here with me...I will make the best of it. But regardless, I need a sign. It had been 6 weeks and nothing showing me that Braden was going to recover, no signs of a future. Where was my family going to go from here?.
Eventually I wore myself out, and managed to get myself to bed. I guess I sat there for 45minutes or so, barganing with God and begging for a sign.
That Easter Sunday when we woke, I had a feeling something was going on outside our door. I got up and looked out our door and was so surprised and excited to see some Easter treats right outside our door. Chocolate bunnies for Paul and I, and a few other things. I can't really remember exactly what was at our door but I will tell you one thing..my day was looking brighter all ready. It was such a feeling, so amazing that someone had donated these things to the Ronald MacDonald house. There was people thinking of us out there and I was thankful. We proceeded to get ready that moring and had to be at the hospital for 8am. We liked to get there as early as possible. I wanted to be there when he woke up, we had some things to give him from the Easter Bunny.
It had seemed my grey cloud had lifted for the time being. I was feeling lighter, happier and just excited to be celebrating with my family.
We walked to the hospital. Got our breakfast and headed into ICU, when we got to his room we were once again overwhelmed with Easter surprises.
The nurses who worked that night had decorated his room with Easter decorations, chocolate eggs and presents all for him.
I cried.
They had done this while he slept, tiptoed around his hospital bed doing all they could to bring a sense of the holiday to us. How wonderful~
Again...we were blessed. We had so much fun with Braden showing him his gifts and treats, now he couldn't really eat the chocolates but we did let him "lick" the chocolate eggs..lol..just to get a taste.
Once the excitement died down and everyone had left his room, we were left alone together just the three of us. We watched cartoons, opened up some of his toys and just talked. I sat at the side of his bed on a stool..and we had a little red car that I was "driving" up and down his body.
I believe I was playing with him almost like a peek a boo..and then I asked him to "touch mommy's nose", again I repeated and asked him to reach up and "touch mommy's nose".
He was laughing (with no sound) but his eyes were laughing..I was grabbing his nose. I was so desperate, please I just need to see you move. Anything..move anything..please...
Then he did it...he reached up and touched my nose.
He had no difficulties at all..it was like he had been able to do it all along. I was beside myself once again, tears streamed down my face, shocked.
I yelled for Paul to watch...I praised Braden so much for his hard work, How happy he made me. We called in the nurses to see him move his right arm. They opened all the glass doors, they brought everyone in...doctors, surgeons, nurses, physiotherapists, respiratory therapists...everyone!!
It truly was a miracle, the doctors said this is impossible. This isn't even comprehendible. He shouldn't have any movement, he is a complete transection of the spinal cord at a C2 level.
It was the best day of my life, this was my sign. This was my clarification that there is a god and that he just answered my prayer. He answered it on the day he was risen. Good Sunday...how else would you explain this?
There is clearly much more to my story, we had many tests that followed in those coming days. Much more to share, but one thing I can say for certain...there is a god, and there is  power in prayer.
Good Sunday will always be my reminder of god's grace. Its my personal reminder that he is there and he is listening.
I am so sad for those who do not believe, but I am thankful that I do~

      (Nana celebrating our answered prayers)

Until tomorrow my friends, god bless~