When volunteering changes your life...

I am going to give this another go however I am still upset about the last blog post I had spent hours on and then accidently deleted it.

I need to start by saying how proud I am of both my kids. Last week I had to drive Braden to Hamilton and drop him off at one of the hospitals as he was spending time with a newly acquired young man with a Spinal Cord Injury. A couple years ago Braden became a peer support for young individuals who suffer from injuries or illnesses that result in some form of a SCI.
I remember back when Braden was just young and we had realized that he was going to be limited in his experiences as he grew and matured. I don't mean necessarily life experiences because god know's this guy has had one too many. I just mean as our children grow they reach certain milestones in each age bracket. They get their license, first jobs, finish highscool and eventually make their way into college or University. We always knew Braden would reach most of those milestones, but ones that included getting a job and his license we kinda figured that would be more of a challenge. Paul and I started thinking about this back when he was probably 8 years old. Braden himself actually started to complain about not having any independance or responsibility. I did my best as he was growing up, he was so limited physically, when Kailey would have chores believe it or not Braden would complain that he didn't have any. We had to come up with some pretty creative chores for him, it was always important for him to feel like he was helping out in this family. When raising a child with a disability one of the most challenging situations is making sure all of the children in your home are feeling equal...we didn't want to put too much responsibilties on Kailey, and yet we didn't want Braden to feel left out either.
So when Braden started to see some of his friends advancing to paper routes, babysitting or working around their homes...we knew we had to do something to keep him advancing in society. It's so important for kids to have those feelings of accomplishments, self-awareness and satisfaction.
We quickly got Braden involved with volunteering.  He started out with the Rick Hanson association doing speeches to help raise money for those who live with Spinal Cord Injuries, he acquired so many great lessons during this time. Volunteering increased his self-confidence, boost his self esteem and gave him a sense of pride.  He did that fundraiser a few times, but then he moved on to become the Embassador for Kidsability Centre. This position he filled perfectly, he loved this opportunity.
You see the purpose of having Braden volunteer through his teenage years was simple, he wasn't able to go to school and hold down a part time job while also tending to his health and rehabilitation.

All those important skills you learn in your teenage years eventually helps develope the adult you are going to become. We didn't want Braden to miss out on any of that knowledge. Volunteering provided him with so much experience working with others, problem solving and communtication skills.
Anyone who sits around playing video games and not fullfilling any goals is going to eventually become depressed. We were SO worried about that happening to Braden, we knew we had to help him achieve certain ambitions.
There is this thing called Volunteering~The happiness factor, and I am a big believer in that.
You see back when my kids were younger I had decided to do some volunteering for myself. I was living a life that even though it was busy and for the most part always exciting, I felt like i was missing something. I needed to get out of the house, maybe a bit of depression set in at one time...so I started volunteering at Teenage Pregnancy home. It was the best thing I ever did....I always left feeling like i made a difference. Some of those young mom's were amazing, I even learned a few things from them.
I remember making the choice to bring Kailey with me, she was maybe in grade 3 and I just kinda figured she needed to see what it's like to live outside of her comfortable lifestyle. It was important for her to see some of their struggles, hear their stories...and care for their babies while they were trying to make their lives better. My children live such a comfortable lifestyle really never having to worry about anything, well anything around having their needs met. Like i said I needed her to see that not everyone is as fortunate as she may be...some of those girls worked so hard to make a living, Kailey needed to be exposed to that.
Going back to the Happiness Factor its a proven fact that volunteering kindles happiness. Getting out and helping others also combats depression, it helps keep you connected to your community. One christmas we had 'fostered" a little baby girl while her mom was having her second baby. It was over christmas holidays when this precious girl came to stay with us and honestly it was such life changing event for our family. It was a wonderful opportunity for our children to give back, to make time for others during the busy holiday season. We truly had to pull together as a family and not think so much of ourselves...that christmas was about this baby, her mom and new baby sister. Eventually mom joined us for a night here..and having them was really what christmas was about. I unfortunatly had to take them home, it killed me to leave her...if my own life hadn't been so darn crazy demanding I would have had them here longer. That christmas my whole family experienced the Happiness Factor.
I just hope and pray that  as my children grow and age they to take with them the feelings we shared having helped out that mom. If one day my children open their homes to help out another...then we did our job, and I will be proud.
This year we had assumed Kailey would find a job, she had a small job for a bit but it
 didn't go anywhere. We had decided she could focus on school and play one more year of ringette...we wanted her to enjoy her highschool years, there is lots of time for her to work. With all that said the same rules applied to her...if you are not working, then you have to volunteer your time. We are so proud that Kailey did just that, she now volunteers at the Cambridge Hospital, and she really likes it. I see a change in her already, its nice to see her self esteem come up, she's just more confident with herself as well. Come this summer she will be job ready, and she acquired many great skills in this volunteer position. It's kinda funny cause some of those older ladies who volunteer with Kailey just think she is there for her "hours'. Most kids go in and do their volunteer hours, then they get the heck out of there. When she tells them, no...I have my hours already, they tend to have a new found respect for her.

The picture below is Braden heading off to meet with his client. Braden seriously is one of the strongest people I know, after all he has gone through he can still think of other's. He is genuinly concerned for the people he meets. He really wants to be able to give them someone to talk too...and maybe if possible give them a small piece of wisdom that just might help them cope with the new challenges they are going to face.

 

I have to admit, we are very proud parents. They both work hard, they both have seized so much knowledge in life. It's one of the ways Paul and I managed to turn something so tragic in our lives  into something bearable. It has become the glue to the success of this family. The only way to survive certain occassions in life is too share your knowledge, work hard to gain the skills needed inorder to survive. Once you have those tools, share them.

There is no better feeling in this world then to confidently turn away from someone knowing you gave them everything you have. Hoping that just maybe the words you kindly expressed may have just changed the course of their life. Allowing them the freedom to feel happy again~