Cr8 f8...

Its not about what you've been through in life that necessarily changes who we are. Every circumstance that we encounter in our lives certainly will effect our everyday living and our emotions.
Its how we deal and cope with these life changing moments that will change everything about who we are. DOesn't even really matter what the trauma is that you face in your life, everyone has something that they have to over come and conquer. We all feel the same way during these times, whether we are scared, angry, grieving or uncertain we all have the same emotions, we will all hurt the same way. Our hearts ache, and our feelings of certainty can be threatened or even shattered.
You never really know when its going to happen, life changes in a instant, in a blink and even in the middle of a breath. There could be an accident, a death, a scare or even words spoken will alter the course of your life forever. Unfortunately there are those of us that live in those moments, those of us who let this tradgedy define who we are. We may refuse to push forward, or take the necessary steps needed to regain all that feels lost or broken. Those are the ones who suffer the most. It is these people who I feel sorry for. I have known close friends who have lost a child, nothing more tradgic really in life than that. This very close friend of mine continued on with life, she realized quickly that her life was still important and more importantly her other two children in her life deserved to have a happy, healthy functioning mom. Not only did this mom grieve the loss of her beautiful son...she then went on to use her story in hopes to inspire others who are living through similar circumstances. She also shares her story with university classes to teach those new young minds who are coming up in the field of psychology and may someday work with a grieving parent. This mom...I ADMIRE!
Recently I had a very close friend of mine find out some news which threatened her whole world. The news she recieved were simply words spoken by her daughter, during a normal, casual drive home...despairing sounds, words that ripped through her life and changed everything she simply knew.
This mom...had a choice. Either she would crumble, run and hide from her reality OR she would face this war, find her strength, power and will. It is a choice to come through this on the other side triumphantly. NO one said this would be easy, and actually she had no idea how hard it would actually be. She chose to battle, and she chose to win.
These are the mom's who I admire and today..these are the mom's who get it, THEY get me!
I think what I admire most about these women is their ability to NOT let the "trauma" change who they are...but they have learned through healing that they have become different people because of the way they have healed. It is our choices after the events in our life that challenge us that actually shape who we become. Recently my friend recognized this, and she made some most amazing changes in her life. I am so PROUD!!
Back when she first found out the news in her life she was devastated and handled the news as anyone else. She was numb, withdrawn and seemed lost. The shock had subsided in time, and my friend took immediate action. She put herself and her family into intense therapy, she reached out and asked for help. She encouraged communication with her children and she seeked knowledge on the best possible way to talk with her children regarding this incident. I could see fairly quickly the healthy, positive outlook she was gaining just through getting into counselling and learning how to cope. Once the initial treatment was in place, my friend realized she needed to keep a positive frame of mind and through the help of her councellor she started to take care of herself. Thats the number one thing when there is a trauma in your life, its SOOOO important to take care of yourself. One thing my friend did was join the gym, i cannot tell you enough how important it is during times of trubulation to stay active and fit. It is so nice to hear her speak of how much her activities are keeping her mind healthy and in a good place. I can totally agree with this one. It wasn't until during some very difficult times that I joined the gym and that experience alone provided me with so much more self esteem. It made me realize in life what really is important and what just isn't.
I LOVE talking with this friend, she gets it! She has been through such hard times in life, and finally she is the one who fully, truly can relate and appreciate how hard it is to over come obstacles while trying to remain positive. Its a hard thing to do and it doesn't come easy, its something that you have to work at every day and it is a choice.
She has chosen to eliminate negative people from her support system and only fills her life with people who inspire her and encourage her to remain strong. She does not let anyone bring her down and that even includes close family members. Once again, another thing that we can understand about eachother.
There have been many times where i've felt lonely, OR at least felt like I had a limited group of people who could really relate to my life. I would never want anyone to feel the pain that I have felt in life and I am so sorry that my dear friend has suffered. I am happy that I can be here for her when she needs me, and I am even happier that we can confide in one another and say pretty much anything and feel like there is no judgement. I guess the point of this blog was let my friend know how proud I am of her. We do talk frequently enough and i express to her all the time what a great job she is doing moving past this experience. But I don't think i've ever told told her how much I appreciate her honesty, her undivided attention and her knowledge of life. I know it sucks that her knowledge of life has come at such a great cost...but those of us who "get it" and who have worked through tragedy seem to have a special bond. We (being survivor's) work so hard every single day to stay happy, that we truely do find the little things in life and make them into BIG things~ We never take anything for granted because we (survivor's) know, that in any moment when life seems to be at it's best..it can be taken away in a heartbeat, and we (survivor's) know EXACTLY how we will survive~
I love ya girl~