Mom @ Bedside..to use or not to use?!

Hello my friends...it feels like forever since I have posted something on this blogspot! I haven't forgotten, life just gets busy! I miss this time that I use to have everyday that I could sit down and reflect on life, my day or even just my thoughts. I started going through thousands of reports that I purchaced from MacMaster University Hospital. WOW...there is sooo much stuff. Talk about interesting, the behind the scenes conversations between doctors, specialists, surgeons that we were totally unaware of are literally right in front of me. It is facinating to me! I'm still thinking about calling the book "Mom @ Bedside", exactly the way it reads. I feel that the @ sign kinda symbolizes the way culture has changed our way of communicating through text. Kids these days shorten everything when they talk via facebook, text, bbm and all other sources of communication outlets.
As I read through these thousands of pages, I am re-living so many memories and moments that were so significant in our lives. One time in particular, it reads in the notes that Braden had his pain medications discharged by the doctor. I remember this day clearly, I had spent the day with him and it was about day three post surgery. This surgery was in 1999 and it was one that fastened the left side of his diaphragm down in his lower chest cavity. The reason for this was because his left diaphragm was paralyzed. Unfortunatly everytime Braden had pneumonia (which was alot) his paralyzed diaphragm would raise up and fill the space that was left in the area where the lower lung would collapse. This would only cause more complications for him, so the doctors felt if we tied the diaphragm down, it wouldn't raise up anymore and cause further lung atelecticus.
So, day three they decide to remove his IV pain medications...this caused for a very bad day! I remember Braden was in so much pain that he stopped eating, talking, interacting and even his breathing became painful for him. I spent the day asking questions, speaking to nurses..I was exhausted though and did not have the fight in me to argue with them. I patiently waited for Paul knowing he would pick up the fight and get things finished. In the notes it states that I was upset about Bradens lack of interaction and his pain seemed to be elevated during the day. It then reads, that dad was in this evening demanding to speak with the surgeon and stating that Braden needed his pain meds back. The nurse had charted that the surgeon who Paul was asking to talk with was actually in surgery at the time. Paul pushed them hard and long enough that the nurse phoned the surgeon in surgery and told him that Paul would like to talk to him asap. The surgeon (who we loved) came up immediately following the surgery he was doing. Thankfully the surgeon agreed with Paul, and re-ordered Braden's IV pain meds. IT is also charted that after the meds were administered, Braden ate pudding and settled comfortably to sleep. He had a rested night.
You see, what the doctors and nurses did not know was what we were going through.
When Paul entered Braden's room that evening (we were doing shifts, I was day shift and Paul was night shift) I had been crying, upset and so very angry because they were not listening to me and my baby was taking a step backwards in his recovery. I was over tired, depleted and no longer had a fight in me. I sat there all day trying to comfort a small child who was in pain, crying, uncomfortable and just wanted to sleep. I "yelled" at Paul to get this straighted out...I am too tired! This is terrible, "look at him"! I cried into Paul's chest, "please do something Paul, I want us to go home". He just needs to be comfortable again.
Paul was upset, bottom line...he was angry to have walked into his son's hospital room to be greeted like that! It was unfair of me, I shouldn't have been that angry...but I did spend a day watching Braden suffer and there was nothing I could have done!
I said goodnight to Braden, hugged my husband and once again begged him to fix this situation.
Once I got home, my parents left and Kailey was in bed. I got ready for bed, still crying and thinking about nothing other than what could have been happening at the hospital.
I crawled into bed, hoping the phone would ring. Soon after..it did!
Paul was on the other line with fantastic news, they gave him back the pain medication, the surgeon was up to see him and Braden was resting comfortably.
While reading those nurses notes...I remember that telephone conversation with Paul, but what stands out the most...was how much I loved him!

On a side note, it was never the hospitals intention to Braden suffer that day. They do follow a protocol around the administration of narcotics and the effects of long term use. So, in their defence they were following protocol and were just trying to do what was best for Braden's recovery. Its just sometimes protocol's are meant to be thrown out the window!!!!