Wednesday's Reflection..

Normally on Wednesday's I upload a picture from the past and talk about it...sometime in life that was important or memorable. I am not going to upload a picture tonight from my life, but I am going to show you a picture that made me tear up today! Below is a picture that over the years I have not seen enough of!

Here is the story behind this picture...
Candy and I went to Port Dover today for a day of shopping and sun soaking. It was so nice, I very much enjoyed our afternoon. We got to Dover at around 12:00pm for lunch, did a bit of shopping...bought matching keychains to remember our afternoon and we sat on the beach and talked, laughed and people watched. As we were sitting on the beach a man with 3 young kids approached our area to set up his beach towels and oh-so cute kids who waited patiently while their father tended to their disabled brother. I was in awe of this man...the memories of our beach days came flooding back very powerfully...bringing me to tears. There he was..the father, struggling to push that wheelchair through the sand onto the beach just to give his son the experience that we all crave in the summertime heat. As he was pushing the wheelchair, I knew what he was thinking.."god this is tough, its like pushing through quick sand", it is one of the most tiring activities that we as parents of physically disabled children have to go through...difficult but more rewarding than anything else physically possible. To see that young boy sit on the beach, play in the sand and experience the water like all the other children is so gratifying. I watched as this father, changed the younger two children, lathered them with sunscreen, lifted his disabled son out of his wheelchair and carried him into the water just to stand there and let that little boy have that moment. It was beautiful, I so remember those days. It was strange for me to see another man living the same life that we live. I mean, his actions were exactly the same as Paul's were not to long ago. I felt for him, although he did seem really pleased..they all appeared to be pretty happy. As we watched the dynamics of the family, Candy and I noticed that for about 5 minutes the dad waded out into the water..all alone. Leaving his 3 children to play on the beach by themselves. The dad did have his eye on them and wasn't too far away, of course as a mom and a women...my eyes didn't leave the children, just instinct I think to make sure that they were safe. Initially Candy and I were feeling like the man shouldn't be leaving them alone, it looked a bit dangerous...we felt uneasy about it. But then I thought about the big picture and I thought about our moments in life that could potentially become overwhelming and then it hit me. Who are we to judge this man? How dare I not realize that he probably needs 5 minutes to himself...seriously I bet 5 minutes were needed to regain his strength and sanity to continue to carry, lift and struggle his way through his afternoon on the beach and all the while....having to smile for his children. I remember needing just 5 minutes...as my back and shoulders were aching from carrying or lifting my child, all I wanted was a few minutes to myself to relax my arms, relax my mind inorder to give them all they deserved.
Once the man returned to the shore, he was rejuvinated. I could see the relief on his face. He came back to his children ready to play and entertain them and give them a couple hours together as a family.
You know, anyone can argue that all parents feel that way...and you know what? You're right! All parents need time to themselves...you could even argue that just because he has a child with special needs what makes it that much more difficult for him? Let me tell you my friends...raising a child with special needs is not even almost comparable to having a healthy child. The added strain, stress and emotional discomfort is not measurable...and any parent of a "special" child should never be judged for their coping stradegies. The positive and most important part of having these precious moments is watching that child smile, knowing how important it is to them, how much more they are enjoying it over children who experience it all the time. It is truly a feeling which words cannot express, if I could pick one word to try to give it meaning I would have to choose...celestial bliss. Ok, technically..that's two words, but only one meaning!
It really hit home, that use to be us! I wondered what people use to think of us? I bet there were many mothers and fathers sitting close by to us, thinking the same things that I was today. I was so pleased to see that wheelchair on the beach today...and even more pleased to see that little boy out of the wheelchair, enjoying the beach!