As I sit here and think of my conversation piece for Family Matters Friday, Braden is sitting in his bedroom with two friends chatting, talking and laughing with others around the world on webcam. He has another friend in Kailey's old bedroom playing xbox.
The big question tonight being...how much is too much computer time? Well, of course I think Braden spends too much time on his computer, however what he does on his computer is not always a waste of time. Do I mind that he spends hours a day on his computer....yes and no! Yes because I would love for him to have a bit more social situations outside of the home...unfortunately due to physical limitations its just not feisable. So, it is our job to open our home to his friends, let them have their privacy, have a couple beers, relax and enjoy themselves. No harm done, really...they aren't doing anything wrong. They are safe, having fun and out of trouble. Paul and I have recognized over the years the positive and negative effects of computer time and video games...although I do believe if you children have other interests, they are active, healthy and aware of what too much computer time can do to them...then they can be responsible for their actions as well. I do have rules, and during the school year my rules are a bit harsher...honestly more for Kailey. I do allow Braden to get away with more time spent on the computer. Kailey is still young and most of her time is for social reasons, not really educationally or career realted learning like her brother.
Braden has managed to make use for all the years spent on the computer...he recently was asked to help out at a camp for 12 year olds. He has 6 boys who he is teaching computer skills related to photography and videography and absolutely loves it! I have had the chance to listen to Braden with these young guys while he teaches them and encourages them to try their best and be creative, we are so proud of him. He sounds so grown up! At first he was only going to do one week of camp but then realized how good it made him feel to be a leader and have these young guys look up to him and need his help...it has been great for his self esteem, plus...again, we are soooo proud! Its nice to see something that he uses so much (computer) become useful for him in the grown up professional world.
This week my friends was one of the craziest weeks we have had in a long long time! Thank god Paul was home, I could never have had Kailey in hespeler for 8am and Braden in Waterloo for 9am, plus train a new puppy and then pick Braden up for 12pm and then have Kailey back in Waterloo 2 days of the week for 8pm. It was so busy, that doesn't include Braden's trip to Hamilton for therapy and his hair appt. we also cancelled another appt that Braden originally had for this week. It was nuts, but we are through and totally relaxing this weekend. This coming week, only Braden is still needing to be somewhere, plus he has a few more appt's but like I said, Paul is home so it makes it easier!
The information that I am posting tonight is related to teens and computer time. If you have a teenager who you feel spends too much time playing games or on the net, enjoy the information, hope you get something useful out of it!
Teens on the computer all the time?
Adults often worry about the amount of time that yung people spend online, arguing that the digital world does not replace the physical world. Most teens would agree - they would prefer to be where other kids are, but they may not be able to get to places where they can be private with their friends, perhaps because they have to rely on others to drive them or there are a lot of limits to public spaces where teens can 'hang out' uninterrupted. Adults can be quite frightened when groups of kids hang out.
Most of the space that teens have is controlled space.
Adults control the home, the school, and most activity spaces.
Teens are told where to be, what to do and how to do it.
Because teens feel a lack of control at home, many don't see their home as their private space. Bedrooms with closed doors may be their only private space.
Their public space is where peers gather – and it is really peers that matter to teens, not adults, even if they are family.
Teens have increasingly less access to public space. Hang out locations that adults once had are disappearing while some 'safe' places like shopping centres may ban teens unless they are accompanied by parents.
Hanging out around the neighbourhood or at the beach can be thought of by parents as unsafe for fear of predators, drug dealers and abductors.
Teens who go home after school while their parents are still working are usually expected to stay home and teens may be allowed to only gather at friends' homes when somebody's parents are present.
Additionally, structured activities in controlled spaces are on the rise.
After-school activities, sports, and jobs may mean teens are in controlled spaces from dawn till dusk.
They are running ragged without any time to simply chill amongst friends.
By going on the net, young people can create private and public youth space while physically being in controlled spaces. Online, youth can build the environments that support youth socialization.
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