Wednesday's Reflection...

Boy what a bad day! Seriously,I haven't had one of these days in a long time. Ok,so I am pretty honest on this blog and I do write about some pretty personal things, but some issues are still to sore for me to express. With utmost respect, I have chosen to write about the one problem that started this day. In the summer, Braden has some neuropshychological testing done just to prove to his school,teachers, EA...pretty much all of those that think they understand how to assist those with physical special needs, that he needs a certain level of support. I know that I have complained about his EA being lazy, not listening to our concern's or Braden's for that matter. She took it upon herself to make decision's about Braden and didn't even ask us or consult with us or Braden first. His school year last year was horrible, it was so bad that Braden had to discuss his problems with a professional. So, we decided to get the back up that we needed from doctor's, therapists and phychologists. It was recommended that we do this testing in order to prove to the school board that his needs were not being met and he was slipping through the system, and besides that...he knew so, and was stressing about it as well. Our insurance company and rehab consultant agreed to follow through with the plan, they paid for the testing...which cost just over 3,000 dollars. Plus the cost of the report which was 1,500 dollars. Well, it was our insurance that covered the cost...really,technically it was Braden's money that picked up the tab.
Testing was completed in Sept. and we met with the school and all the people involved, and I brought myself and the neurophychologist who did the testing..yes I brought out the big guns. Do you really think the school staff will argue with me about the test results with a psychologist sitting across the table from them...absolutely not! They rarely have a parent bring in someone of that stature. All was well...honestly the board agreed to meet his needs and the EA was forced to step up and do her job properly. Braden was thrilled, some stressed was relieved. Paul and I felt pretty good, we did our job..goals were met, Braden was once again happy and peace was resumed. Untill yesterday...the head of special Ed asked Braden were the report was from the testing. Braden responded with "I'm not sure, I'll talk to my mom". With that, he came home and mentioned that the school NEEDED the report for their records/files!! Oh really??
Well, first of all...if the school NEEDED this testing, then why didn't they do it along time ago, and why didn't they pick up the tab? It was Braden's money that was spent...not the boards! Besides that..this report is very personal to Braden and our family. It is filled with things that should be of no interest to the school board, and I was uneasy about personal information floating around the school system. This is our life, our feelings, triumphs and disappointments.
Braden returned to school and again told them that I would be happy to give them the recommendations that were suggested by the doctor, but they couldn't have the whole report. You know, the school board really has done nothing for us or Braden. We have had wonderful interactions with many amazing people in the board who I do believe generally want what's best for Braden. They do seem to repect and appreciate our involvment, however they are always not present.
She wasn't happy with Braden's response, and again told him that we had to give it to them. Ya Right!!
So, I phoned our rehab consultant and asked her if legally I needed to or if maybe I should, also letting her know how I feel about it. If they really NEEDED this report then why didn't they do the testing themselves and save us from doing all of the work? She agreed with me..and just laughed and happily suggested that if they have any concerns that they could call her and she would go over the results with them, it woulnd't be a problem. I was thrilled to hear that, it is so nice to have someone occasionally take the battle from me and deal with it..just so I don't have too.
As the conversation goes with the rehab consultant, I did happen to ask if when the time comes, are we going to have guidance and assistance with getting Braden situated in a post secondary institution (college or university)?
She said absolutely...and then proceeded to mention that she and another occupational therapist in Toronto (who we know well) were just discussing Braden and his future plans with education. They want to come to see him and have a discussion about these things, or his plans for the future.
I am not ready...botton line..I am not ready for this.
This is overwhelming, upsetting, distressing, and way to much for me to think about. We do have a couple years to organize things and prepare, I know that I discuss these issue's with some of my close friends. But, even they do not know the things in our lives that are about to change. It's frightening, exhuasting but yet...could be exciting...time will tell, we do have choices. The next few years are going to be altering, it's going to take alot of work to keep our goals, family and lives going all in the right direction.



On days like today, I really wish that I was here in Italy once again! There was so much more clarity life just seemed so much more....quiet!?!
Today was loud, i don't know how to explain it...sometimes its like the world is cracking beneith you and your mind races so fast that you get a headache, all of the thoughts and worries just seem so....deafening. I know that sounds kinda dramatic, there are many worse situations in the world and my problems are really truly...bendable!? I don't expect anyone to understand my world, we all have our issue's. But this is my little place where I can rant and rave or bitch all I want and you know what??...it helps!!