Fashion Friday's...Is back!!

Well friends its Friday and I should be posting something about fashion. Unfortunately I did not plan well and I am sitting on the couch at my cottage. I have nothing ready for fashion Friday, I will leave you with this awful picture of Paul and I. It's certainly not flattering but it was taken here at the cottage a couple weeks ago. We had the weekend to ourselves and made some cesear's!! 

Have a good weekend my friends I will be better prepared tomorrow! Good night and god bless~

Thursday's Thoughts...Ramblings of a wife and mother of 2 crazy teens.

Lets dedicate Thursdays to more useless ramblings...I'm still investigating other blogs and trying to come up with ideas. I have to admit I am getting bored of the things that i use to blog about...so I kinda want to leave Tuesdays as my day of venting or shall I say discussing things related to the past, present and future of raising a child/young adult with a physial disability and medical issues. I have so much to say about the last 19 years...but i'm sure to you it gets boring after awhile. Not to sure what to do with Thursdays...maybe I'll just leave it completely open to whatever it is I feel like writing about. I know one thing for sure...I have to get my own domain going, because once I start getting deep into my life, I don;t want someone out there to take my words and make them their's.
Another small issue is the idea of writing about my children and their lives today, I have to respect their privacy....i don't want to write about things going on in their lives unless of course I have permission. Braden is a bit more open to the idea...where as Kailey is more reserved, and rightfully so.
Speaking of respecting their privacy...I have to admit I am pretty happy that during my times of suffering, pain and anguish almost 20 years ago there was no place like facebook,twitter and instagram to share my thoughts and feelings everyday.
I find in todays world parents jump on social media and talk about their children{s} lives, pain and situations. Post status about their health, their appts, their strengths and weaknesses.  What happens when they grow up and realize everyone knows their buisness? When they realize that the most unimportant people know things about them that they wish would have remained private. I'm not sure how Braden would react to that today, if I would have shared all his pain, his proceedure's, his personal medical information years back....I really think he'd feel slightly violated, i'm sure that he'd feel a bit out of control because i took that choice from him. Even today before I post anything...I get permission.
With that....I am so happy we didn't have social media at that time, and I gently warn anyone who uses it as an outlet to be careful, choose your statuses wisely. Post happy things..post things that will make your friends smile, and you will be sure to know that your children will not grow up questioning your choices regarding their privacy.
You may be wondering where all this is coming from, but its been building up for years...i've sat silent mostly because I have had too, and truthfully...it was the right thing to do. With social media being so prelevant in our lives today..I read things on facebook about people's lives..I follow the Cambridge Support page for Kayla B. and the importance of organ donation. There are so many conversations that take place at our dinner table regarding these things we see and read on facebook, it then occurred to me..I can't even imagine the things said around some families tables when I had my car accident.
If I would have had a social outlet like facebook i'm worried that out of anger, fear or frustration I would have posted statuses around those things, and I truly believe I would have regretted it. I would have fueled the fire for conversations being had in families that I didn't really know. Statuses get misunderstood and taken out of context, how would that have been fair to Braden and/or my family.
This being the point i am trying to make....
I know there are MANY misconceptions out there regarding my accident...so many people are misinformed...even most family don't have all the facts, with that said...THANK GOD!
I couldn't imagine back then focusing on "what people know", "What people think" or even caring about those things. I didn't have the time to worry about those things...if you wanted to know how things were going, you had to be the one to call and find out.
During those times I couldn't even fathom jumping on a facebook/twitter account and "updating" anyone on what was happening in my life. I am SO thankfull that we didn't have that option...thankful that still today our life during tragedy is still private. Its OUR story, eventually the truth will be told, hopefully through my book...and all misconceptions will be cleared up.
I guess there is a time in life when you feel its right to "open"up and share your story. For those of you who care...I will be happy to share that with you, because I can share with clarity.
Through the years I have heard many people discuss our buisness with myself or others and for what I have heard....MOST everything is misinterpreted. There is NO one who knows everything about our lives, and unless you heard it directly from myself or Paul, then please know..you are probably misinformed.
I am also not new to the fact that sometimes facebook/twitter and instagram are amazing outlets to keep people connected. Anyone who knows me is well aware that I am the first to hop on facebook and share a picture or a story around my family life. I LOVE FACEBOOK,  and sometimes on a really really crappy day there is nothing better than posting that and recieveing all the love from friends and family...I for one have been affected by that. Lets not forget the importance of sharing big events on social media and then basking in all the wonderful comments left by those who care...once again, I for one have experienced that. I love that my family/friends can take part in big events and see picture of the things I am most proud of.
My point with this post is...
"I am so thankful I did not have any social media outlets back when I was living through my own personal tragedy. I would be afraid of the things I may have posted and then regretted. I am thankful that I waited to share information about my son...until he gave me the permission too."
I believe in times of fear and/or anguish we also reach out to social media, we share things that we may regret one day..and once it is out there..it cannot be removed. That my friend is why I am happy WE didn't have these outlets, be careful what you post/tweet or instagram its not just your life you are sharing, its your childs..and they should have a right to choose.

Instantly Wednesday...Instagram shot of the week.

How is this idea for Wednesday's posts? Instagram is such an important part of my life, I LOVE my iphone and I love taking pictures with it. This also gives me the opportuntiy to have an evening off if life is too busy...its simple to just send a quick instagram pic to my blog and post that.
We went to see The Internship last night...date night. It was so nice to get out together, the movie was really cute. We both liked it and would reccommend it.

 

 

Tuedays Talk...God, I'm Lonely

     So we'll make Tuesday's the day that I talk...it will be whatever subject is on my mind or whatever is happening in the news or maybe something that I have read and has affected me. Maybe it will be a marriage, parenting, friendships...could be anything.
Once I move this blog to my own website or domain I will be changing the name to.."When skies are grey"... thats a possible book title as well. I'm sure you've figured its a line from the childhood song "You are my sunshine". A song I use to sing all the time to Braden while I sat at bedside, and also a song sang to Kailey when she happily came along.
I've been reading through some blogs of Special Needs mom's and came accross a post that struck a chord with me. I am sure many of us mothers of special needs kids feel the same way...for me, it was a long time ago but the memories are still there and the lasting effects are still a painful feeling for me.
This mom starts her blog with 6 Things A Special Needs Mom won't tell you, and she proceeds with 6 facts..we just don't share. One of them, which happens to be the first thing on her list is...
 1. Special Needs Mom's are Lonely....
There are so many secrets we keep, things we don't share and one definately is the fact that through the years I didn't have time to nurture certain relationships. I remember aching for more time with friends and family, just wanting to share in things that at a time I couldn't. It was a difficult time, mind you..I did have play dates with friends, some of these friends would bring their children over to sit and play with Braden. As Kailey became older the times got more difficult, most times friends would come over and the kids would want to run and play..chasing eachother, swimming, running..all the things Braden couldn't do. I would find myself tied up in a web of reaching out to Braden, trying to show him another way to play with these kids while they ran around him. I worried all along, what this would do to Braden's emotional well being. This leaving me with very little time not or opportunity to really sit and engage in my friend over tea. Thankfully my friends understood that, they were wonderful.
I never had time to make phone calls, or send emails..my time was spent hovering, making sure things were fine and fun for my child(ren). Then I felt spread thin because I needed to be sure Kailey was recieving the attention she deserved, doing crafts with her and her visiting friend..or running to the pool shed to fill water guns for her and her friends, or watching them swim...it was non-stop supervising. Like most parents we spend our time supervising but when it is watching over a child with special needs its 10x the hovering, watching and supervising. That doesn't leave you time to mingle, relax, laugh and chat with your best girlfriend. I always envied those ladies who could go to a water park, plunk their asses down on a towel, pull out a bottle of ice tea and sit, tan and just talk with their girlfriends while they watched from afar their overwhelmed, excited children. Honestly I am trying not to sound like I am complaining because I am blessed to be home with my kids, I have great friends and my children experience so many things thanks to my "hovering" parenting...sounds like an oxi-moron..how do kids experience things with a parent hovering? A special needs child just does...trust me! Many of my friends and family are even aware of the guilt I had/have...guilty for everything. Can't get together...have to cancel plans..no time to chat...forget to send emails...forget birthdays...anniversaries...no drop in coffee's....forgot to call to fill them in on doctor appts...the guilt I carry is endless. Even with family, there were relationships that we just couldn't nurture or give alot of time too. NOT that we didn't want too...WE DIDN"T HAVE THE TIME! and I feel guilt over that too. I think a life time of parenting a special needs child puts you into a "bubble" that protects you, the only ones you let into your bubble are the ones who understand or tolerate your lack of availability in conversing regularily in a friendship. Those who don't get upset that you don't have time to always be present. The lonely moments are the ones when someone doesn't understand. The ones who make you feel guilty (when you already do) about not responding to an email, or phone call are the ones who you tend to delete from your life. Again...GUILT. Its difficult to do that, but you learn to put whats important first..and that happenes to be the four of us. Our family.
My lonely years are over..Paul and I are finding it easier to entertain our friends, nurture our friendships. We can engage with people and not worry so much about the kids anymore. They have their own lives, its amazing to see the small group of friends we had 20 years ago are still the ones in our pictures today.
And to each of them...I thank you for being there!

Monday's Menu Returns!!

Yes, I have decided to keep Monday's menu...those whom I have spoken too seem to really like the simple, easy menu's that I cook and post. Here are a couple pictures from tonights dinner...I think I actually may have already done this pasta dish on here a couple years ago. But I had all the ingrediants already here and decided to just go ahead and make it anyways.
Have you tried the new Philadelphia Chocolate Cream Cheese spread?? I have been wanting to try it, so I did and I really liked it. It would be good on a bagel, toast, croissant...maybe even french toast. Just thought i'd share that with you.
Below is the recipe and cooking instructions for this dish....
ITALIAN SAUSAGE AND RIGATONI BAKE

 

2 lb. Italian sausage

1 cup sliced mushrooms

1 green pepper, diced

1 can (680 mL) spaghetti sauce

4 cups penne pasta or rigatoni, cooked

2 cupsKraft 4 Cheese Italiano Shredded Cheese

3/4 cupKraft 100% Parmesan Grated Cheese

make it

BROWN sausage; breaking up slightly while cooking. Place in a large saucepan with mushrooms and peppers. Stir in spaghetti sauce. Bring to a boil reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes. Add pasta to sauce.
SPOON 1/2 of the rigatoni mixture into a 13 x 9 inch (3.5 L) baking dish. Top with 1/2 of the cheeses; repeat layers.
BAKE at 375°F (190*C) for 20 minutes    

After dinner tonight I made a VERY simple dessert using up some of the ingrediants we have here at hime. See the promise that I made to myself this year was that I would use up the food in my fridge and cupboards..so far I've done really well. I had some cool whip that I wanted to use up before it went bad in the fridge. So i made this simple, easy, yummy pear dessert.

5 MINUTE PEAR CRUMBLE

What You Need

1 can (19 fl oz/540 mL) pear slices, drained

8 Nilla Vanilla Wafers, coarsely crushed

1/2 cup thawed Cool Whip Whipped Topping

1/8 tsp. ground cinnamon

Make It

SPOON pears into 4 dessert bowls.
SPRINKLE with wafer crumbs.
COMBINE Cool Whip and cinnamon; spoon over desserts

Paul enjoying his dessert!! LOL He is in Braden's room watching part of a video Braden has been working on. Seriously my son has some amazing talent. You should see this next clip he is making...special effects are so cool. Hopefully I will be able to post it on my blog when its finished.

 

I'd like to announce that my good friend Candy is making her own blog. YES she is...its going to be a cooking one. I am so happy for her...she is a wonderful cook and an even better baker. I will let you know what her site is once she is up and running. I will certainly be trying her recipes. Next Monday I hope to have a better dinner...something more challenging. With that said, i do enjoy posting simple recipes and that was the point for Monday's menu. I like my dinners to be quick, healthy and cost efficient. I think i have some pretty good idea's for my format...looking forward to sharing that with you!

Good night my friends & God Bless~

Sundays Fun day!!

Ethan spent the night so we decided to head down to Southworks Antique Shop, he found just a couple treasures!

Ethan checking out a few things!

My typical finds.. I love my cameras!

Came home and Ethan decided to go for a swim. The awful part if this is that our pool heater is broken so the water is freezing cold. He was determined to swim.. So off he went!

His reaction to the temperature!

Kailey didn't think it was cold enough and felt it necessary to spray him with a hose.....my poor nephew! Well friends, still not feeling well.. So this is a quick post. I am actually doing this post from my phone!! Kinda cool! I am off for the night, so good night & god bless~

I"M BACK.....YES I AM!!!

 

 

 

Well my friends...i have decided to come back, I need to start blogging again. I have missed it. I am not sure yet of a format..I am going to do some research on other blogs and see what is new in the world of blogging.
Reading back a couple years ago in previous posts..I can't believe how much my life has changed, so much is different!! I know for sure that I need to change my website, I need to get my own domain so that whatever I write is mine. The downfall with bloggin on here is that whatever I write about they technically own, and that kinda sucks. Tonight my nephew is here..and i'm not feeling 100% but thankfully Braden is enjoying his evening with him. There is such an age difference between them, but Braden is really good when he has nothing going on...he will give Ethan his time and attention. Tonight just happens to work out perfectly, and Braden doesn't mind spending time with him. I can't wait to get my new format together...I need to come up with some cool ideas to keep you all engaged.
I need to do a shout out to my uncle Wayne who was the one who got me thinking again of blogging. So thank you Uncle Wayne..i will work hard to give you a good post every morning to go with your tea! Well i'm off for the night, looking forward to writing for you all again...
Good night & God Bless~