100 Things I Want To Teach My Daughter #69~Energy and Persistence conquer all things~

Energy and Persistence a few of the most important words of your life. We have been surrounded with so many amazing people in our lives who have shown us exactly what energy and persistence can do in ones life.
I can only pray that those people have left a mark on your life to show you anything is possible. I also hope that you can see through your father and my own life journey, that hard work, energy and persistence can get you through anything.

I have been preaching for years how important a healthy lifestyle is for your own success.

You are such a bright girl, and I know I don't need to preach this too you. But someday when you are so very down, please remember all you need is energy and the will to persevere.
With those two things in life, you can get through anything.

Good night fox, until tomorrow xo

The Grace in Grief~

Book writing days, just a little insert~


"Between you and I, I had been born with a Congential Heart Defect. My chest bore a zippered like scar that terrified me, what would the man who I was going to share my most intimate moments with think of these battle scars?

As a child, I had two open heart surgeries and had travelled to Toronto Sick Childrens hospital yearly for regualr checkups. I certainly was not new to childhood illness or trauma I too had suffered some pretty substancial medical conditions.

Unfortunatly that wasn't the only burden too bare. At the young age of 14, I had corrective back surgery for Scolisois. My spine was curving leaving me with a croocked back, unaligned hips and pain. Being a young teenager in the 80's didn't make having these challenges any easier for me. Back in those days there were no readily available enlightening quotes posted on Pinterest echoing words of wisdom. Anyone with a life changing event or illness were certainly not considered a Survior or a warrior. "~Christine Martz

With having been off Facebook know for sometime, I have had the chance to start writing again. I am loving it!
The words are coming to me so easily, and the story I am sharing with the world is beginning to take shape. I wanted to share with you just a little tid bit. My book is a about our life, it is a story of perseverance, love and triumph.

Although this book is our story, its also a story about finding the Grace in Grief.
Please stay tuned for further developments ;)

100 Things I Want To Teach My Daughter #70~ Life is a comedy; our mistake is that we live it as a tragedy

#70~Life is a comedy; our mistake is that we live it like a tragedy

Our beautiful freckled fox, this life lesson is probably the most important one out there. This is a legacy that both your father and I would like to leave to you and to Braden.
Promise us you will not take life too seriously. I mean there's a difference between following rules, abiding the law, living your life accordingly and laughing when you find yourself in times of uncertainty. Its ok to laugh when you are scared, its ok to laugh when you are nervous. Laughing is the best form of coping I have ever known to experience.
The things that your father and I have laughed at over the years would make some peoples skin crawl. But you know what, we have survived. There has never been any harm in laughing at a situation that causes you pain. Always try to find the humor in a terrible situation. It may not come initially to you, but eventually after the trauma and shock has worn off its ok to look around and laugh.

Now, not everyone will have that capability...laugh at them.

Do not ever stop laughing, there is nothing in life more important than your happiness. It won't matter what you are going through in life, the best moments will be those of laughter.
If you find yourself devastated, cry, cry hard and get it out. But then you wipe those tears, and turn that frown upside down. Put on an episode of Friends and you laugh.
Laugh until your stomach hurts...and then laugh a little more.
Laugh when your friends get drunk and make asses of themselves, laugh at your boss when they embarrass themselves during a conference meeting.
Laugh at your father and I when we don't know how to use the new TV remote or when we fight over something stupid.
Whatever life is throwing at you try to find the humor.

We have a generation today that tends to get upset and dramatic very easily. They take comments, messages and communication defensively and far too sensitively. Feelings get hurt without intent, people are always looking for someone to blame their insecurities on.
We need thicker skin, stop taking things so personally and (wo)man up.
Every little hurt feeling is faced with drama, and so many misconceptions are perceived as tragedy. Don't fall into that with people.

This generation needs too stop being so sensitive and realize the world does not revolve around them.
Where did the idea of having a sense of humor go?
Why can't we laugh at ourselves or/and others these days?
Although you may find yourself in some very serious life situations fox, be advised that finding the moment of clarity in a situation can be simple.
And with simple will come calm, shortly after the calm you will find humor.
That moment in an instant when you can sit back, smile or laugh is when you will begin to heal. Regardless of the circumstances, when you find yourself able to smile that is when you will know you're on your way to happiness.

Say No Politely and Quickly~ 100 Things i Want to Teach My Daughter #71

#71 ~Say No Politely and Quickly

My fox, this is something that I have not been very good at. Through my 30's I spent so much time doing things for so many people and not feeling like I had the right to say no.

I actually think you have a pretty balanced outlook on what your boundaries are and honestly you have even taught me that its ok to say no. 
I just hope as you get older and more people start to demand your time and attention that you continue to filter out all your Yes's.

Sometimes we as women tend to take on a lot more than our plates can handle. Its a terrible feeling when the plate "runnith over" and you don't feel in control.

Its so very important fox that when you don't want to do something that you have the strength and will to say no, and not feel you owe an explanation.

NO is a one word sentence. When you use it correctly no one will feel the need to challenge you. Short and sweet my darling, and walk away without regret.

My point being simple, say no without feeling the need to explain why. We grow up in a society were we feel we owe others an explanation.
The truth be told, we don't need to explain when we say no to someone. I mean its clearly nice to give someone a reason why you may not be available to them. But keep it short, a good friend won't feel the need for a song and dance. A good friend will trust in you and understand your answer even if its a no.

Do not become a people pleaser Fox, your life will be so much more peaceful if you do what you want in life for you.

 

Well we are slowly getting through this list of 100 things I want to teach my daughter...thank god.

I am not really posting in any kind of order as far as what is the most important lesson in life. But this one is definitely in the top 10.

I'm a little out of practice with writing these posts, I just didn't have the words forming well this evening. But I suppose this lesson is pretty self explanatory.

And in all honesty, this post will just be a reminder for when you are a 40 something mommy, wife and professional just trying to make the world everyone lives in just a tad more easy. Hopefully you won't make the same mistakes that I made and find yourself exhausted in your mid forties. I don't really regret a lot of my Yes's, I have had an amazing life. I have a great husband, amazing kids and a great group of friends who all through the years have received a well deserved yes from me.
But with that, I am learning to say no. The no's didn't come as easy as the yes's..but they are coming and I am totally ok with that~
Good night my loves, until next time God Bless~

What is your definition of a successful life~

 100 Things I Want to Teach My Daughter~ #72 What do I define as success?

Success: the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one's goals.

What does success mean to me?

Balance

I truly believe that success lies in how well someone can balance their life. There is so much more to life than someone's income, education, career and social status. Having the ability to successfully nurture and grow your mind, body and soul throughout your life is my opinion of complete success.

For me, anyone can have a high earning job. But if they don't have good health or any knowledge of a healthy lifestyle then their money will be of no use to them.

You can have the highest IQ in the room, Phd in Physics but if you don't have the ability to apply your education to a career then there is not much use for those framed degree's.

If you own one of the classiest hotels in all the world, or a 5 star restaurant and you are not capable of making friends, and lack self esteem then I can say with certainty your business won't be the happiest of work places. Over time that too will dive bomb into a sea of despair.

My point is simple fox, we have so much more in our life to achieve than just income or social status. It is far more important to consistently nourish and develop your mind, body and soul.
For me, my success or goals have been different at certain times in my life. When I have been physically strong (body) I was struggling emotionally (mind). At that time in my life I went back to school to become a nurse. Lets look at that...
I was 34 years old, probably the fittest I have ever been. I was an avid runner, and gym rat at least 3 times a week. I was feeling the best I could have ever felt...that was success. BUT that success was only physically. Emotionally I was in a sour place. I was unsure of who I was, I was scared for the state of my marriage and I was lost. I needed to do something to fix that state I was in...I needed a goal.
So I decided to become a nurse. That was my goal. I changed my life in that moment so I could nurture, grow and educate my mind. Success.
For a time in my life I had great health, strong mind and a nurtured soul. I had graduated as a nurse, I started my career in a hospital and I became an dependant woman. My children were stable, marriage was on the right path and for me everything was balanced. Success.

Today, I am probably the least fit I have ever been. I am the most unhappy about my body image at this time in my life. I need a goal. I know I need to fix this problem or I'm going to find myself in a very bad frame of mind. Depressed, unhealthy and disappointed in myself.
Emotionally at this time, I am probably the most stable I have ever been. Success
You know this past year I have been working very hard, bettering myself, learning and educating my life. I have been battling some PTSD effects, it has knocked me on my ass. But I could see this and I knew I needed to fix it. My goal was too get some help, educate and find support. That's exactly what I did.Mind.=Success.
Once someone has a positive healthy frame of mind, that makes it much easier to want a healthy body. And that my freckled fox is my next step. Body

Soul...What is your soul? Your soul is your energy force. Its what people sense when you walk into a room. You know how some people just radiate when you are in their presence? How just being around someone tends to make you happier. That is how someone's soul is felt. Feeding that fire, lighting that flame is what we all need to remember to do. Fueling that light in ourselves is balance, and balance is what I define as success.

There are many ways to feed your soul, some people mediate, play sports, worship, read, exercise, creative art, sing, cook, vacation, put yourself out there and commit a random act of kindness. Whatever it takes to make your heart happy is all you need to be doing to feed the soul.
Through the years I have done many things to do just that. My earliest memories are of painting classes. Then we did volunteer work, and more volunteer work in your school. Today I still am involved with volunteering so I suppose that is one way I choose to keep my soul lit.
Volunteering=Happy soul. Success.


Mind, Body & Soul

I know right now in your life its so hard to see yourself as a 40 year old woman. Its so far away, you have so much to do. To your father and I, it doesn't truly matter what career you choose, how much money you make or how successful you are in those areas. To us, if you are sincerely happy with a life that brings you much joy regardless of your social status...then that too me is success.
I am not one to quickly judge anyone who chooses a life as a bartender, garbage truck driver, pizza delivery person or house cleaner. You don't have to have the best education and the highest paying job to find success. There is a huge difference between someone working at MacDonald's because they are too lazy to graduate high school. Someone who works at MacDonald's but continuously educates themselves, travels and experiences the wonders of this world to me is someone who strives for success.
I hope you can understand the difference between the two.
Don't get me wrong fox, we want you to strive for the very best in life. We pray your determination and dedication to your education brings you to great places because we believe you are going to change the world baby.
DON'T give up on your dreams for a good life, you strive for that high priced job and fancy home. But promise me along the way you will nurture and feed the things that will give you strength through it all...Mind, Body and Soul~
Without the balance of those three things, success will never be reached. Whatever it is you do in life, take care of yourself first. I love you fox~

On a side note: My biggest success was overcoming a very catastrophic accident, and while finding our way through that storm we managed to raise two amazing people. To me...that is my success~

100 Things I Want To Teach My Daughter #73 Never Try A New Recipe OnCompany~

#73 Never try a new recipe on company~

My dearest fox, I cannot express enough how dangerous it would be to try a new recipe with company. If you are anything like your mother, having company for dinner can be a stressful time. So don't go making it more stressful by trying a new recipe. That shits for amateurs.

My advice is simple. Have two go-too recipes for company. Actually have three...one needs to be vegetarian. Focus on a nice vegetarian pasta dish, if you are not sure about your guests (if you have a larger crowd) eating habits then pull together your pasta. At least you'll have back up if you run into that awfully uncomfortable moment when one guest announces "I'm so sorry, I should have mentioned that I'm a vegetarian."
I will leave below my go-too vegetarian pasta dish, its quick and easy and delicious and it can also be served as a side dish with those who enjoy meat.

Kailey, always have a few dishes that are easy to make. Friends don't really care what you serve them, they just enjoy the night out with you. Keep it simple, but focus on the small things. Have a classy signature drink at each dinner party. One appetizer, something simple but elegant, serve your meal and end with a nice store bought dessert. DON'T put the time and energy into a homemade dessert, especially if you are a busy working mom and wife. SIMPLICITY.

However, sometimes you have those dinner parties where you order the food. Delivery at its finest..you know Chinese food, Thai, pizza etc. if this is the case and there is NO shame in that. If you have the time, compliment that take away dinner with a nice homemade dessert.

If you are entertaining families, and there happens to be a bunch of kids at the dinner table. My advice to you freckled fox is keep dinner plain. Most kids hate onions, green peppers and mushrooms. So don't make anything that a bunch of kids are going to sift through looking for onion chunks.
Spaghetti fox, pull out the spaghetti. All kids love that, use a very plain pasta sauce for the kids. Put out parmesan cheese so they can add that themselves. Kids love garlic bread, and don't forget the cesar salad.
Of course you can always spruce up the adult pasta with veggies in the pasta sauce. Just remember keep it simple.

Dessert with kids is always fun. If you remember I always had desserts that you kids could help "make" yourselves. Always remember if you let kids assist with the preparing and making of food...there's a higher chance they'll eat it.

Spinach Manicotti

~16 oz part-skimmed ricotta cheese
~2 cups of Mozzarella cheese
~1 large egg
~1/4 cup of parmesan cheese
~one large bag of baby spinach, cooked, drained and dried
~12 cooked according to package manicotti shells
~32 0z of your favorite pasta sauce

Preheat oven to 375
In a large bowl combine the ricotta cheese, egg, spinach, mozzarella cheese and parmesan cheese mix well.
Fill your manicotti shells with the spinach mixture, once lined in your pan cover with pasta sauce and sprinkle with extra mozzarella cheese.
Cover with aluminum foil and back 20-25 minutes.
Now depending on whether or not you have children at your dinner party, I would serve something they can help with. Like brownie sundays, give them choices of toppings and let them have some fun with it. That kind of dessert is always a hit.
BUT if its an all adult party, think rich...like a cheese cake or something.

I want you to take away from this post that it truly doesn't matter what you serve at a dinner party, your guests will only want to spend time with you.

But never ever try a new recipe when having people over for dinner. It will only stress you out...like I mentioned earlier always have your go-too recipe. Don't forget to always have a favorite pot-luck recipe, and the popular "sorry you are ill, sorry there was a death in your family, congratulations on your new baby recipe", Find something that's quick but loved by everyone. Something you can drop off to a neighbour, friend, relative or acquaintance especially when they are needing it. My go too is my shells and when I feed large groups I always have a big roasting pan full of those, they make a good dish.

Most importantly: prepare as much of your meal beforehand. Don't spend all your time in the kitchen once your company arrives. Try to have the prep work done, make your night easy go lucky. You want to enjoy it too...so if that means just cooking a box of Kraft Dinner and some cut up hot dogs...then do it. Good friends will bring the ketchup and cheap wine~
Well my darling, you have lots of time before this takes place. But as your mom its important to me that I leave you with this little bit of dining entertainment. Someday you will read this and think about our dinner parties. Hopefully just maybe...you'll thank  me for this~ xo

100 Things I Want To Teach My Daughter #74~ Add a little happiness to your life each day!

#74 Add a little happiness to your life each day
         *eat chocolate
         *take a break
         *Meditate
         *Exercise
         *Enjoy a glass of wine


I didn't do enough of this stuff in my early years fox. I was a bit uptight and I regret a lot of that. I suppose my thoughts, time and energy were spent on other things, but I don't want you too make those mistakes. It is perfectly fine and most definitely healthy for you as a woman, mom, daughter, wife and doctor (lol no pressure) to take time for you.
Enjoy a piece of chocolate every day. Not a whole chocolate bar, just one square. Start your day with time to yourself, meditate, read or pray each morning.

Run~ You know how much I want you to start running. I can not express enough how important exercise is to the mind, body and soul...its the cheapest drug, therapy and muscle relaxer you will ever find. Please start running, even for 15 minutes a day.

At the end of you day, when all is done and your world is settling with the sun enjoy a glass of wine.

 Unwind, relax and drink wine. I wish its something I would have done more of. To do it all over again I should have sipped a glass of wine every night while making dinner. Maybe I wouldn't have been so wound up tight, maybe I would have lingered longer in the kitchen, listening to music and realizing exactly how blessed I am.

Love you fox~
forever proud of the young woman you are xo