100 Things I Want To Teach My Daughter #78 "Ignorance is the root of Misfortune"~

100 Things I Want To Teach My Daughter~

#78 Ignorance is the root of misfortune

Pretty deep eh?..But pretty simple. In the short of things, never stop learning. Never stop listening, keep your mind open to possibilities. When someone is ignorant to change, or to learning at times hard headed to growing they will never reach fortune. I'm not talking about monetary fortune, I am speaking of knowledge.

When someone is ignorant they are unable to open their mind to new possibilities. They feel they have it all figured out. My darling we never ever have it all figured out. Don't become one of those people who don't except help, knowledge, advice or education as everyone has something to learn from someone.
Keep your mind open always to learning, those who seek knowledge will advance easily in life. You can never know too much. Continue to better yourself, put your energy and time into things you love. Learn a new language, travel un-prejudicially, take night classes, spin classes and cooking classes. Always aspire to be a better you and I promise you will be happy~

The nonsense that others can and will try to bring into your life will be draining. So keep yourself so busy, loving your own life that you don't have time to worry about others.
I'm not saying to overwhelm yourself, down time and relaxing is just as important as hobbies and activities. Balance your life, keep an open mind. In times of uncertainty trust your intuition.
Listen more than you speak.

 I have always been aware of becoming a better me. It has taken life lessons to help me realize the importance of growing as a person. Becoming a nurse was one of those things. I was at my maximum potential as a mum understanding the medical demands of Braden's condition. I knew I had a lot  more to learn, I wanted to become the best possible resource and advocate I could be. I brought myself to the next level, education my darling is something no one will ever take from you. It doesn't matter to me if you choose to mop floors at MacDonalds for the rest of your life. If you are truly happy with what ever you choose to do, then I will be happy for you. BUT do not for one moment sell yourself short of what you are capable of learning and experiencing. Having an education doesn't always mean sitting in a dull-lit classroom Monday and Wednesday evenings...it could be taking a Botany course at your local garden centre. Knitting classes at Michaels with Colleen, ;) or pilot lessons in Breslau.
Fox, life is filled with so much to see and do.  Promise me you will always seek knowledge, do not limit your life. Always remember that those who shut themselves off from the world, sit in their homes believing they have it all figured out. Those who don't take advice, classes or education are only leading their lives into misfortune. They will never advance, they are difficult to talk too and hard to understand.
The best gift you can give yourself is education, you are never too old~ People can take away your possessions, jobs, relationship status and even sometimes your sense of certainty. They can never take away your knowledge. That's your's forever~

Well my lovelies, until next time good night and god bless~

Easter Treats!

Every year we dye eggs. I don't care how old my kids get...we always find time to dye easter eggs. I always will. Some years its just Paul and I having fun with the dying of the eggs. Most years though..one or both of the kids will join us.

This year Kailey found it in her heart to entertain me and join us for the dying. I set it up as seen below. We had lots of fun, we ate chocolate and candies the whole night.  Can't get any better than that~

 

Of course Paul got in on the action...I can always count on him to have fun with me.

 

Here they all are pictured below..aren't they pretty?! We enjoyed them with our easter dinner the following day!

 

I was so wanting to try this easter cake this year...so I decided to share with you how it went down.

So I just baked a regular chocolate cake. Let it cool...

Then you ice the cake with white or vanilla icing. Add your peeps around the outside of the cake.

 

I had prepared the coconut before I baked the cake. I literally put sweetened coconut in a ziplock bag and dropped a few shots of green food coloring in. I just mushed the coconut around the in the bag until it was all green. Easy peasy~

Then I put the coconut ontop of the cake, and added some easter eggs. It was so cute, and tasted delicious. It was a big hit at dinner, everyone enjoyed it!

Well friends, I hope you all had a wonderful Easter. We certainly did...was probably one of my favorites.

Until next time my lovelies, good night and god bless~

I am putting away the Screwdriver and pulling out the Hammer~

Helllooooo my lovelies!!! I have missed you, I won't make any promises here but I hope to commit to a better regular post upload. Life has been busy, its been actually a bit chaotic. A lot of anxiety related to care routines for Braden, new staff, new routine. Honestly it is all things we are in control of, its just not going the way we had hoped. I think we are heading back to where we began.

But let me explain a few things....as many of you know I am in a year of healing. I am learning, rebuilding and learning how to deal with many emotions. One thing I have had to "work on" is confrontation. I am dealing with how to become assertive without getting "angry".
So here is my first confession...I have a tool box with all sorts of tools that I can use when dealing with difficult, frustrating situations. My problem is that I keep using the same tool when dealing with conflict. I am not reaching for any other tools, I keep using the same darn screwdriver.
Screwdriver = Anger

These past few years, as I have mentioned before I have become tired. With that I have withdrawn myself from many situations. I just don't have the fight in me...most times my fights become incredibly tiring.
Let's go back...
When I was 23 years old, I had a terrible car accident that severely paralyzed my son. During the first lets say post 15 years, I spent much of my time "fighting" for his rights. Eventually and fairly quickly I had learned when you have a "screaming mother, taking a temper tantrum in ICU" because her demands are not being met...people move pretty quickly. I got results immediately. Now I wasn't a tyrant. I was a mother who was going to protect and provide her son with whatever I felt he deserved. MOST times I worked closely and comfortable with hospital staff. I really didn't have a lot of conflict with them. I was blessed, they wholeheartedly met our needs as parents, patients and even co-workers. There was only a few times in the beginning years I became a monster with hospital staff.
I remember one incident, which we laugh about today. At the time I don't think I had ever experienced this level of anger. Braden's Orthopedic surgeon ordered a head, neck and back brace made specifically for Braden. It was custom made, and used after his first Spinal Cord Surgery. So Braden was in ICU recovering from surgery and this brace was applied. It kept him completely confined. It had a chin strap that kept his mouth closed, it made it so difficult for him to try to react to stimulus. He couldn't open his mouth at all, he cried silently of course because of his tracheostomy. That was so hard to see, he made no sound but tears streamed down his face. I asked the nurse to remove the chin strap, and she refused. I told her I don't care what protocol is...I am removing  the chin strap ASAP. She then said "let's leave it for now, and we will call DR.Viviani up when he gets the chance".
Well this is where I had learned if you scream loud enough you get results...and really what are they going to do to a mother who is distraught while her son fights for his life? They can't kick you out of ICU...well at least back then they wouldn't dream of that.
So my big mouth demanded that the DR come to ICU immediately. They tracked him down, he was in the OR, but I told them to tell him to come up as soon as he gets out of the OR. I was loosing my mind over this brace and Braden's discomfort. NOT to mention he didn't write any notes saying we could hold Braden, If the DR didn't write any notes about do's and don't's then they didn't let you do anything until permission was given. I get that today, being a nurse and all.
As a mother...I didn't give a shit about his protocol or his do's and don'ts.
He came right up after his surgery, it was about 2 hours later. He still had his surgery gown and hat on...lol I was actually impressed and very grateful. He came in, looked at the brace, removed the strap and agreed he didn't need it. Then he gave permission for Paul and I too hold him, he wrote that out because I made sure of it. I thanked him for coming up so quickly, he was a great surgeon but he was quiet and reserved and difficult to get to know. He liked us...I know he did!

My temper tantrums continued through his school years, and once again if I didn't get what I wanted I would just throw a fit, get really loud and eventually I would get what I wanted. At times I was relentless.

This has all changed, the last time we had a hospital admittance Braden was admitted to an adult ward. He is an adult, and he was initially sharing a room with an older gentleman. Well this isn't going to work well for me..where am I going to sleep? I had two choices this very first night he was admitted. This is where my friends I have found myself today....
1, If I take a temper tantrum and demand he has a private room so I can spend the night, then technically they can call security and have me removed. Becoming a nurse taught me this.
2. Shut down.

I took the second.
And this has been my coping technique since. I don't have the skills to negotiate, understand and listen to others if I disagree. SO I have been shutting down, I am frightened of who I become when I am angry. I have been letting Paul deal with all the conflict, I have been hiding.

Until now.

I know I am capable of being assertive, I do have the ability, That grown up is in there, I just have to practice using the other tools.
I have some new skills, I have a plan.

I am not saying that I am immature. I do have control over my feelings and I do not go around throwing temper tantrums. When I do find myself overwhelmed with emotions, I do manage to remove myself before the crazy comes out. That says a lot...years ago I didn't have that ability.
I have a situation in life that needs me to step up, and I need to remember that I am role modelling for my own children. They need a mom who is in control, a mom who can resolve conflict with confidence.

I suppose the best way to explain this would be to say that at a very young age I had learned how to resolve conflict and get exactly what I needed. When I was a 23 year old mother of a young medically fragile child, at times I'm sure my temper was enduring. Admired maybe from others looking in, "the fight in that little one is powerful",

When you are a 45 year old, 5' chubby mother of a physically challenged young man....the temper tantrums don't look so...lets say cute~
Here I find myself frightened, self-conscious, and at times nervous of what my reactions too a problem will be. So I have some work to do.

I am searching inside my tool box, pulling out a hammer! I'm gonna try to leave that screwdriver locked away safely in that box.
I have to train myself how to use the hammer, I don't want to end up throwing it at some unsuspecting poor bastard. With my temper I can't make any promises. :)

Well my lovelies, wishing you all the very best. I miss you~ Until next time good night and god bless~

Bean Boozle: The Booger Mystery Braden;s On Youtube again! Go check out his channel!!

So my son recently uploaded a Bean Boozle video to his YouTube Channel. He actually had been a youtuber many many years ago when he was just a young boy. He has a lot of older video's on his YouTube channel Beeedthemoviemaker. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQXYXOftTABFvGZM2FBfMOw

The above link is his old channel. Check both of them out..he has a lot of good content on both of them.

I also follow one of  Braden's best friends on YouTube. He is slightly newer to vlogging, but his channel is growing really well. He uploads all the time on his car and motorcycle. Its very good stuff, and if you like and appreciate cars and bikes then this is the channel for you! I will leave his link below. His name is Spencer..

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFsZbgx0IX5TpzHjcFcUbKg

These are two wonderful channels with great ideas made by two amazing young men, Enjoy my friends!!
I'll be back very soon, just needed some time off~
I miss you~

Day 15 Of 30 Day Blog Challenge~ Where will you be in 5 Years?

Day 15~ Where will you be in 5 Years?

WOW again....that's a loaded question.

I have absolutely no idea truly. We have a couple idea's up our sleeves. We really hope to be a bit closer to a retirement plan. Working towards Paul retiring at 60 years old. We hope to travel much more, timing wise that will work out perfectly. As Braden will be completely independent, with his settlement starting in the near future. His needs will be met financially. This leaves Paul and I freer to move forward into which ever direction we choose. To be honest, I hate to wish away the years. But in 5 years it will completely be about Paul and I. How do you not look forward to that?

Until that time we will continue to enjoy the ride, life is really simple right now. We are loving that, its quiet, calm and happy~

So lets continue to ride these waves peacefully~

100 Things I want to teach my dughter #79 You can make your dreams come true if you wake up and work~

#79  You can make your dreams come true if you wake up and work.

I know sometimes in life it doesn't seem fair that you have to work so damn hard, always working. But we have two choices in life we can either
a) Work really hard and enjoy the benefits of that
                         OR
b)Not work hard, float through life without goals and worry constantly about where we are going to be in 5 years.

We all have our own personal definition of "working". When I say to "wake up and work" i'm not referring to "making money". Its not about the money. Its about happiness, and working hard is what will always make you happy.

Don't be a chump. In order to be successful get out of bed, educate yourself and work hard. Doesn't matter what you are doing in life, do it well and do it with passion.
When you get the chance to sit and relax you will only enjoy it more.
When you were little, I believed in routines. We had a morning routine, school day routine, weekend routine, dinner routine and a bedtime routine. We followed a clock, time was always important. We had rules and even expectations. From a very young age, you knew there were expectations put on you every single day. Wake up, eat breakfast, brush your teeth, get dressed, go to school, homework, then play. That's what builds a good work ethic and that my darling is the secret too success.
If you want something bad enough in life, then you have been given the tools to make that happen. You know what discipline is, you know in order too be happy you must have some form of routine.
NOW...I am not saying its not ok too break the rules, its totally ok and very encouraged to occasionally and I repeat occasionally skip school for a ME day. Its even important to take a day off of work just for you. Book a trip last minute, stay out late, get drunk on a weeknight, have breakfast for dinner...LIVE~

My point is only if you want to be happy fox you're going to have to work hard at it. Doesn't matter what you choose to do in your life, as long as you are happy, content and successful in your daily living. Have a purpose, get an education and surround yourself with people who work just as hard as you.

Get up every morning with a purpose, don't ever give up. Go to school, go to work but never forget too play.

Day 14 of 30 Day Challenge ~ 3 Healthy Habits

Define Healthy?

Seriously I could give you more unhealthy habits that I have. I may be stretching the truth here but let me try.

1. I do run on my treadmill at the least 2 times a week..at the most 5 times. So that's good~

2. I drink lots of water everyday. I can't tell you exactly how much water but at least 5 bottles a day. Not too bad~

3. I am working hard at healing. Mind Body and Soul my friends.

I so wish I could tell you that I eat healthy, that I don't eat carbs or sugar. I am out of control right now with those things. I have gained a lot of weight this past couple years. However I am not in denial, and I hope that once I get my emotions under control I'll have more strength to take care of myself physically. Its all about balance. I feel like I am getting healthier each day. I even find myself looking for control over my unhealthy eating habits.
I know this for sure, I have been here before. I beat it once...I will beat it again. One day very soon, I will be walking around here again with a much healthier, fit body. Until then and while I heal myself emotionally....
I'm gonna keep eating these....

Because they are good...and they make me feel warm and cozy on the inside ;)