Still No Facebook

Well so far I have held true to myself and my personal goal! I have not returned to facebook and I haven't felt the need too. It is very hard, I do miss keeping in touch with my family and friends. My New Years Resolution is going well, Paul and I are still kissing more during the day..its been great!
I am very glad that this weekend is over, it was an emotional rollercoaster. We had some high moments in our ringette games and some very low moments. We had no wins, and there really are no excuses, these girls are capable of beating the teams they played. I do understand its not always about winning, but it was clear that they didn't even play the best that they could and that is what is so frustrating. We will push through this weekend and let it go. Its a new game next weekend and we will come prepared. Wish us luck!
Tonight we had my parents, Katie and Ethan over for dinner. It was nice to spend time with my nephew, he is so funny. I need to get into the habit of blogging earlier in the day because by the time I sit down to blog, I am usually exhausted and can't think of much to say..so starting tomorrow I am going to blog earlier.
Good night & sweet dreams!!

Can we win this...YES WE CAN!!

Well my blogs for the next couple days are probably going to be focused on Ringette.
This weekend all of my time is being spent in arenas. Its ok, I don't mind it...
Today was another battle, they played Ajax today and came back from a 3-0 game in the first period and tied it up early in the second period. Unfortunately the Ajax coach pulled a time out and that team came out with avengence. They scored fairly quickly and stole the game from the girls. It wasn't good, we could have beat them. We won against them last week 6-4, its too bad. The second game was against Guelph and that was a better game, we still lost 3-1 but they played a better game. The girls were tired they have already played 4 games in 2 days, its alot for them. Tomorrow is a new day, they are playing Missisauga and have beat them so far this year most of the games. I hope that the girls are not to down on themselves after these past two games and come out ready to win! I know they can do it, my goodness they are so talented, if only they could believe in themselves a bit more! Braden went out to help start up a Kitchner Powerwheelchair team. He had an amazing time, he is so excited. Due to his experience with his Toronto team Braden was a leader out there today and brought knowledge,skill and heart to this new developing team. I don't think Braden will leave his Toronto team, but if he manages to play on two teams then he will get lots of practice and his goal for getting on the Canadian National Powerwheelchair team will become a reality. He is hoping for a spot on that team because there will be a chance to travel, possibly to Italy. That would be cool, then I found out there is a chance Kailey will be going to FInland next summer, 2011..if all goes well for her coach. I am so proud of my kids, they are so determined and work hard for their wants and desires. Not sure where they get that desire because I certainly didn't have it as a teenager! Anyways...I am off for bed, up again tomorrow morning and out the door into a cold arena..the life of a ringette mom..and trainer! Thanks to mom and dad, Candy and Kelsey and Uncle Dave, Aunt Flick and Uncle Blair for their undying support through this weekend. Its nice to look out into the stands and see family there with happy smiles, waves and lots of cheers...we love you guys!!

Tired

I was so proud of myself today, I was the only one in our family to get up early and exercise. Today was a day that we decided we were all going to stay home and sleep in. Well Kailey has a ringette tournament this weekend, so she had to stay home anyways. Braden had an upset stomach so with out too much hesitation we decided to keep him home too. It was wonderful, I firmly believe that it is important to teach your children that it's ok sometimes to break the rules and defy what society seems to think is right. We are so programmed due to our parents generation which were mostly factory workers, that our lives need to be a 9am to 5pm day. Never to skip work or school because there are consequences to those actions. You know, they are right, and under most circumstances we do follow those rules. I hope to give my children a message in life that..life is too short, slow down once in awhile and enjoy it. Take a day off, walk around Chapters, enjoy a Vente Chai Latte from Starbucks and eat chinese food in bed. Even though we all stayed home, it was still a crazy busy day. We are hosting the Cambridge tournament which means we have to help out with timekeeping, scorekeeping and convening. I also had to host another get together at my house for a light lunch in between games, it was nice the girls are always welcome here. Today's games were not good, not even worth discussing. It was too bad and very disappointing because the girls could have done so much better. I guess when there is one step forward it is always followed with two steps back. I hope they do better tomorrow, it would be nice to come off the ice with a win. Work hard ladies, you each have it in you to accomplish anything if you set your mind to it! I am proud of you...thanks for being a great group of girls!!

Mom at bedside

Tonights title is one that is incredably significant to me and I didn't even realize the importance of it untill about a year ago. I had bought most of Braden's medical files, nursing charts, doctor notes, test results etc, etc..about 3 years ago when I was contemplating writing my book. Over the last few years I have very slowly been going over the notes and have noticed that with each nursing entry and sign off..it all started and ended the same...mom at bedside. As a nurse I understand the magnitude of this and what it means to the medical world. You see, it expresses to each and every medical professional that mom and/or parents are involved and consistently devoted to the child. It lets other nurses know that the parent is hands on and that they can be trusted, and should be respected with their wishes regarding the care that their child recieves. Mom at bedside represents a mom who probably needs a break, and as a nurse lets not forget to care for that mom..emotionally, mentally and physically. Remind her/him to care for themselfes, take a break, get some fresh air.
ALl of that is easy to understand in a hospital, sitting at your charting desk. Going over the last nurses notes and deciding what nursing duties needs to be done.
When you are that mom at the bedside, there are no words to describe the feelings of "being at bedside". There is no other place to be, there are no other choices..that child is your life. Mom at bedside symbolizes a virtue of strength and determination, fear, perserverence and the gift of love. A mothers love has the ability to change the course of any event, a mother has the spirit to heal any wound if they believe in the power of prayer.
I have learned many things while becoming a nurse and having the opportunity to work with many mothers/fathers/grandparents and children. However being a mother has taught me more about life than any professor, doctor or surgeon could ever teach. I had so many hopes and dreams while being "mom at bedside", never really giving up on my faith. Some of those dreams came true..luckily the most important ones. But, some didn't..I still have my hopes set high, untill those dreams are achieved I will always be mom at bedside.

Long day...short blog

I am sorry for the short blog this evening, unfortunately nothing is coming to mind and I am so tired from today. Again I managed a bit of exercise, as I am still not feeling 100%...then I continued to clean the house. Paul started painting Kailey's bedroom, it is going to look great! Then I got a call from Kailey saying that one of her brackets from her braces fell loose so I had to take her to the dentist mid afternoon and sit for an hour while they fixed the problem. Braden got a phone call today from the Kitchener's Kidsability with information regarding a powerwheelchair hockey team starting up here in our region. Braden was so excited, he does play on a team right know in Toronto every Sunday which he loves. He has met so many fabulous people who are involved with the Toronto powerwheelchair hockey team. They are a group of inspiring individuals who have given myself, husband and Braden hope for his own future. I am lucky to have children who have aspiring goals and inspirations.

Cleaning out the inbox

As of today, i have managed to run 5km on Monday, 3km's today plus a 1/2 hour workout with weights...I lost one pound since last Thursday..19 more to go. I don't think that one pound is all that good, but it was over the new year and during a time of much craving for sweets, salt and sour. I'll take it, better than gaining one pound I guess.

Today was good, did some running around with Paul which included getting Kailey's paint for her bedroom. The colour that she chose is called "Cumulous Cotton" its a very pretty shade of blue. I am so excited to get her room finished. Once Kailey is relocated I will have more room available to Braden and all of his equipment. It gives him more privacy when his friends are over and keeps them out of my theatre room. Besides, I am not a fan of the video game playing which will now be out of sight for me and that benefits Braden!

As my title states, this year I am cleaning out the inbox and getting rid of everything that is not of any use to me or my life! Seems drastic but it is necessary. There is alot coming up this year and I have no time for things that are not of importance. That may include some people as well. Over the years I have spent sometime concerned of what others may think or feel about myself or how I raise my children, choices I make personally, professionally or theoretically. As I age, grow and become more experienced I have come to realize that what others think are generally.. not important and does not bear any significance whatsoever to the decisions or outcomes in my life. This is actually a nice place to be...very peacefull. As long as in the end I have no regrets and have lived the life I wanted, all will be peaceful in my world. Know, I am not saying that I won't accept positive critisizm from the ones who are important to me, or that I won't listen to what others have to say...as long as their advise is in my best interest. People tend to get caught up living their own lives, pretending that all is perfect and they have the knowledge and power to live with all the answers, not only about their life..but also yours. My belief however is that unless you live the exact same life as someone and have the same feelings, strenghths and weaknesses as that person...then there is no room for judgement. I do not claim to hold all the answers to life's mysteries...I am still learning. So, by cleaning out my inbox I will be eliminating some things in my life which I feel may cause undue drama, or just plain feelings of frustration. Here's to 2010..and all the wonderful unjudged decisions I make!!

Spencer just a shout out to you...get to bed, you have a test tomorrow!!

Emily K. and Candace M. Thanks for joining my blog..so happy to see you here!

Big decision

Tonight I went to see a movie with a good friend. We decided to see the movie It's Complicated starring Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin. You know usually I find chick flicks or romantic comedies have the same movie predicted ending that finds you leaving the movie theatre feeling warm and fuzzy. Tonights movie did of course have a feeling of warmth, but not the same predicted warmth. It was about a couple who were married for many, many years..and raised 3 children together for most of those years. Over time they grew apart, became different people and one thing led to another the marriage was neglected and the husband (Alec Baldwin) goes outside of the marriage and has an affair. As the movie goes the ex couple co-parent their 3 young adult children and tolerate one another through 10 years of divorce. The ex husband eventually finds himself in love with his ex wife (Meryl Streep) and decideds to act on his feelings..finding the two of them having an affair together.
The ex-couple start spending time together, rekindling a romance of convienence. Naturally you see this new spark between them, and they have a few family moments all together with their children and the father feels he has stepped back into thier happy family. He is convinced they are meant to be together after 10 years of divorce. You are led to believe that there just might be hope for these two and how romantic it would be for the family to be put back together..because its just that easy! Initially I think we are all hopeless romantics and optimistic love sick movie goers..I truely felt that this couple would get back together and the movie would be done with everyone feeling "thats the way it should be". Surprisingly however, they did not get back together and any hopes of a future for them were shot down by the mom, who thankfully realized it would never be a happy ending if they got back together. Realistically, she avoided all the things that caused the divorce in the first place. It was nice to leave a movie where the ending was realistic, there was a part of me hoping for the family to get back together mostly for the childrens sake...but just because they can't love their children under the same roof, doesn't mean they can't love them even stronger under seperate roofs. The ending was happy, and i did leave with a warm fuzzy feeling! I am fortuante and extremely happy that we can love our children under the same roof!
Well, I can finally write about the one thing hanging over my head. I have come to decision, not an easy one..but a needed one. I am going to quit my job...not such an easy thing to say or admit, but I need to do it. There are many reasons why I am going to leave the hospital, the main reason being the medical issues that we are going to have to tackle this coming year. There are going to be some major medical decisions for Braden. Another reason is the 12 hour shifts, not a big fan of them! they are a killer on my back, and I find that being away from the family that long affects my parenting too much, especially since it takes 2 days to recover after a 12 hour shift. Unfortunately my job entitled me to be spread across much of the hospital..sometimes going into departments that I have had no training. Those shifts were very difficult and draining, I would have to get use to new co workers, new policies and procedures, new job techniques and new computer skills or different charting expectations. I will definately miss the maternity ward, it was my favorite, but I was never guareented to work there. There are many other reasons why I am choosing to leave my job, some are personal, due to my own life experiences in hospitals and some are emotional for the same reasons...some situations are just too close to home.
I will seek out a new adventure in this wonderful career. Something that I can enjoy and feel like I can give 100% of me, that is important because I would expect that for my own loved ones.
With that said, I am comfortable with my decision and I am looking forward to a new job...eventually!!